" No one wants to kiss chubby cheeks or sleep with a girl covered in rugs," Vince smiled as the corners of his mouth went up in a smirk. " Now get off your high horse and stop fantasizing about my perfect chest," he growled. My name is Perez, but the bullies call me Fatrez because I'm fat, not that I like being fat, their is nothing I can change about it, unless the angels decided to work out a miracle. But everything that has a beginning has an end, I could do the bullying, not that I can't. But the head of bullies is sinfully handsome, he leads as they follow. Always throwing the first comment before the rest come along. Even if he is sinfully handsome, I could never dream of me with him, the fact that am fat, call it obesity and dumb in class with extra front teeth. No one wants such a girl. Even if I was a boy I wouldn't date me. Why would he look at me twice without laughing so hard and crumbling down. The best I can do is disappear and never come back or kill myself to stop the bullies from finding other victims, they would probably die of guilt, that's my plan. But Vince is such an arrogant jerk, he could never crack, let alone feel guilty. I've got to stay alive to pay back, make his life miserable, perhaps I'll sleep at night satisfied that he is suffering because of me. But maybe the bully isn't strong like I thought, is his heart made of stone or it's all a mask to fool the world and make him feel better. His heart bleeds after all and I can injure it.
View MoreThe bell rang, and I stood up from my lonely, happy spot in the field to return to class. When I say I hate school, I mean Vince and his friends. They were my nightmares straight from hell. Because of them, I was already fancying the idea of running away from school and starting off in some lonely cottage in the middle of the forest. Well, speak of the devil. I noticed when it was too late. His foot on the pavement with his friends holding out cameras. As expected, I stumbled on his leg and fell face down with my stomach making me spill some milk from my tea break. "Look at that. I told you she drinks three cups of milk at the canteen every day, " Vince said as he burst into peals of laughter. " Well, Fatrez, it's a crime to eat like a mechanic, " another boy shouted from the crowd. My name is Perez, but the bullies call me Fatrez because I'm fat. They made sarcastic comments as I slowly got up and stared at them with flashed eyes. I let the first drop of tear fall before stopping the next and running off towards my Maths class. Of course, I was late again with my clothes full of dirt. My mouth tasted bitter, with the smell of sour milk haunting it. "Well, look who is late again, " the Maths teacher announced as I stood at the door."Mr. Thomas, I can... " " It looks like the school is feeding you guys too much, " he said, referring to the drops of milk on my chin that I didn't wipe after falling down."Well, here is the marker. Please teach the class how to do that math from the previous lesson. "He continued handing me the marker pen. I took it, my hand trembling before my eyes bulged. I've never seen such math in my whole life. I scribbled small figures on the board before he asked me to step aside. As he tried to read my writings, I noticed students in class staring at their phones. My video was out, and thanks to Vince and his friends, I was famous once again. "Well, Perez, it seems you have to do eight squats before we continue with our lesson. "he remarked as the whole class erupted into laughter. Everyone knew I was fat; I couldn't jump, let alone do a squat. I turned around to face the board before trying to go down. My arms were too short and full of fat. I couldn't touch the back of my head. Mr Thomas just stood there, staring in amusement as he followed the events happily. God! How much I wanted to die, evaporate or disappear. I tried doing the third squat before standing up angrily and moving toward my seat. "Perez, " the Maths teacher called. " We are not done. I am sure you don't want to go to detention. "I sat down and looked up, refusing to give Mr Thomas the satisfaction of seeing me suffer. He could kill me if he wanted to. All my classmates hated me, my parents didn't like me, and my grades were the worst; he didn't scare me, even hell didn't.
I was labelled dumb in a politically correct manner.
He must have given up because he chooses to continue with his lesson. Our class was funny. The seating arrangement was according to your performance. The brightest kids sat in front, and the order continued with the dumbest kids at the back. We all know my position. I'm occupying the last desk, which means I came last in class with my deskmate, darling Fred who came second from the bottom.The seats in front were occupied by Fiona and Paul. We were one Happy family at the back here except when they joined the bullies. Fiona was petite and tall with blond hair that fell in soft layers like it was tailored from gold fabric. Except she was dumb like me. Whoever said beauty with brains was wrong; she was no different.Paul was short and strong with dirty blonde hair. He seemed to be going through a lot, maybe a drunken father and depressed mum. Whatever it was always got him silent and thinking." I'll be going around to check the answers in your books," came the teacher's Voice. I looked up to see him drawing some long division on the board before he looked straight at me. Why did everything he did in class seem targeted at me?I wrote the sum down as I started chewing my pen. I couldn't do it even if I tried. I gazed at the math from all angles, and nothing came to my mind. Fred was busy writing with a smile.He looked sideways before covering his work. A few filthy curses escaped my mouth as I focused on my work. Why was he so mean?" Please, just put your hand down. When the teacher comes, he's going to look at my work," I whispered to Fred, almost trembling, begging. His actions were calculated. Fred knew I couldn't do any Math and wanted the teacher to come and make fun of me after marking his book so the whole class could laugh. Tears came from nowhere and started filling my eyes as Fred tried to suppress giggles. I wasn't going to cry, I promised myself. Mr Thomas was now halfway to our desk. He knew he wasn't there for Fred's work but mine. I covered my face with my hands as I pushed my annoying pigtails back. I swear today is my last day in school; after this lesson, I'll just kill myself so all the bullies can drown in guilt and die. "That's not the answer. You never pay attention in my class, do you? ""But sir, ""Just redo the math. If you carry one and add it to seven, the answer is eight, not seven, ""Okay, ""Perez, let's see what you've got, " the big moment was here. No one would miss this, even for an Oscar.I wasn't frightened nor afraid of what he would do if he noticed I hadn't completed the sum.What I felt was beyond such mere nouns. I didn't care. There was nothing in me; I wasn't coming back to school tomorrow. He could kill me if he wanted because I would do it anyway. I looked up and noticed him looking at my book without a subtle wink. The class was quiet and anxious, waiting for him to tell me to stand up, go to the board, jump five times, or get detention. I stared at my work with my new I don't care attitude. The sum was neatly done, and the answer was correct. How? Did the angels come down to my rescue? Clearly, Even Mr Thomas didn't believe in miracles.A person can never go through life waiting for happiness, you have to make your own, for there is nothing stronger and better like a good memory. “Your eyes make you beautiful, but your lips do more than that, you are a beautiful creation. One that took a few more hours to be made, I would say the creator had some free time to spare during that time,’’ he whispered the words in my ear in a slurry base, that was seductive and enticing. “Are you sure, are my eyes that beautiful,’’ I asked more confused than ever. We kept on having normal and sugar sweet conversations at the top of the stairs, the bully has a heart. I moved towards the room I was supposed to sleep in and he followed behind, helping me, making sure I didn’t fall. I pushed the door open and slid into bed before he pulled out the covers and made sure I was neatly tucked in. “You are such a good soul, what demons always take over you every day, what really happens?’’ I asked slowly as I felt sleep taking a toll on me.
I pushed the large window to open fully and watched as he jumped in with a loud thud. ‘‘Be silent, someone is going to hear you,’’ I warned in a whisper as I suppressed a little girls giggle. It felt I was torn between leaving my window open so the bully could witness everything. He always made sure he gave me lessons at love with his little conquests every day, by leaving his window open, and putting the lights on so could watch every little detail, every single step as they kissed with him lifting his small whores against and doing all kinds of stuff to them. like I was cheating on him, so I pulled the window closed and turned around. ‘‘Heeeeeeey,’’ he greeted again as he pulled me into a warm hug. ‘‘Heey, ‘’ I greeted back as I hugged him too. ‘‘You smell so nice,’’ he commented as he pulled me closer to inhale his masculine scent. ‘‘Your cologne is also awesome,’’ I complemented, ‘‘What is it called?’’ I asked even though was sure that I would forget the name as soon as he
I mouthed an awful goodnight to everyone at the table and didn’t stay behind long enough to hear wherever they would, say. I was just done with humanity and everything about them. ‘‘Don’t forget about tomorrow, its along day,’’ my papa screamed as hr shouted goodnight too. IO smiled and nodded my head before taking the flight of stairs towards my room. I got in closed the door and laid on the floor flat, with my head facing the wall. This room was my safe place, it was one of the only places in the world where I felt whole, The ceiling board was familiar as usual, the normal designs, the walls boring as ever. Boring and me always belonged in the same sentence, my life was boring, terribly boring, nothing about it could spark or raise eyebrows, it wasn’t even spiced up a little. I closed my eyes and just lay there for almost an hour, I wanted to feel nothing, I wanted to be numb to emotion, immune to love or hurt. I didn’t want to be human anymore. My headache was getting even w
‘‘Beauty is all around you, all you have to do is open your eyes and see it’’ Dinner was boring as usual; it was just the sound of forks and spoons clinking on the plate as we all savored whatever was left inside our plates. The only time I ever felt alive was when I was eating. Food made me feel whole, it made feel like looking up to the next meal. There was a conversation going on around me, I made myself immune to whatever was being said, I blocked the words from reaching my ears. I had already given up, died inside a long time ago, the only thing I was doing right now was feeling up my body. I did not have a soul. I focused on the sounds the fork and knife made as it hit my plate and objectified my food as I became totally absent from everything that was happening around me. A hand tapped my shoulder and I gasped loudly in shock. ‘‘Sorry, but are you okay?’’ It was my step mama again, what was she even trying to do, by being good to me out of the blue. ‘‘I am fine,’’ I repli
Every day, people ask if you are okay. A random stranger inside the bus pretends to care and ask if you are fine, because your palms are sweating, or your lips trembling, from your struggle with anxiety. But most of the time, no one does, its pretense. The moment I got into the house, I wish I didn’t, they all seemed to be in a happy mood, happy for no good reason and I feared they might want me to join them and perhaps, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to, lest they notice that my spirit has given up. ‘‘Hellooooo,’’ my father greeted as he stood up to come and say hi. I was really uncomfortable and he knew, I wasn’t up for all the happy merry, the high vibes, I wanted it low and quiet, I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. That’s how a child grows up when their mother abandons them, it’s the only way for them to cope up, you lay low and lock up all your feelings in a cage, you become numb, because feelings are useless, humans abuse them all the time, you better not have them. ‘‘Hey pa
I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked
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