LOGIN(Alicia)
The call from the woman named Chiara comes as I’m once again reduced to eating cereal. I ignore it, along with her next four calls and messages. I’m busy with training, and some part of my brain really wants to ignore the previous day and all its implications.
The woman is pushy and clearly a bit miffed that I’ve been ignoring her. Womp-womp.
She drones on about dress fittings and flower choices like she’s planning a human wedding. Am I getting married to a human? I only half-listens as she mentions how she’s got this schedule that she’s sharing with my email account and that I ‘better not miss any of the appointments’. But I’m fully awake when she ends the call with ‘Oh, and the King asked me to mention that Luka sends his regards’.
A white-hot fury makes me almost sling my phone against the wall, but I rein that anger in quickly. Not here. Not now.
Feeling like a naughty schoolgirl who’d been hauled to heel by a schoolmaster, I check my emails. Yes, there are all the neatly synced appointments, starting tomorrow morning. The loathing rise up like bile in my throat once again, but what can I do? I’m trapped.
A particular email catches my eye. It’s from Student Services at the College where I’m currently in my final year of studying art conservation. I click on it to open the message up and read it.
“Dear miss Sunblade. It is with regret that we notice you have cancelled your studies with Hazelfell University. Attached is a current copy of your progress report as well as the final bill, payment upon which your account will be closed. We wish you all the best for your future.”
I think if steam could escape from my ears, it would. He cancelled it. The low-life, manipulative creep has cancelled my studies. He had no right! I was one semester away from graduating!
This time I do sling my phone to shatter against the wall where, just to add insult to injury, it leaves a dent too. I sag onto the couch and just let it go – all my anger, all my frustration, all my helplessness comes tumbling out in a torrent of tears and sobs that I just can’t seem to stop; and I despise myself for it.
I don’t cry. I freaking deal. No matter what, I. Never. Cry.
But as my wails intensify and I’m even more freaked out by it, I just sag into this helpless crying heap and throw the pity party I’ve always denied myself of having. Why did I have to care about Luka? Why couldn’t I just be more like my perfect half-sister? Why couldn’t I just be a normal elf, or even a human?
When it starts to get dark, I wipe my tears and drag myself off to bed. I am too exhausted from all the crying to think of a solution. That's a problem for future-Alicia.
***
Chiara is exactly like I imagined her to be. She would have been perfect for the lead role in ‘The Devil wears Prada’. My instant dislike of her is mutual.
Because this is a first dress fitting and I’m definitely not going to be standing naked or dressed in only underwear in front of her, or any strangers, I made sure to wear tight, high-rise exercise shorts and a sports bra. She can see my back markings only, nothing else.
Now I’m standing on a circular dais in the back of a super-exclusive human wedding dress shop – the kind where the price tags will make even a billionaire’s eyes water. I’ve been compliant, although scowling. I’ve shown her exactly how little interest I have in the way I look with my lackluster attitude. I’m making an effort to let her earn every penny daddy dearest is paying her to tolerate me. Fuck ’em.
I see her swallow back a bitchy retort when I refuse to undress fully, and I smirk inwardly. I’m sure, in her mind, she’s silently counting to ten and cursing this particular assignment; wondering why it’s me she has to deal with rather than darling princess Charmaine. Me too, stick-insect, me too.
She has somehow managed to squeeze me into a form-fitting dress that will severely restrict my ability to move quickly, or at all. It was from a thick, luxurious-feeling material that was deceptively simple, yet subtlety textured. And it covered every inch of skin from my neck down to my wrists and my ankle, which is the only reason I agreed to put it on.
But it’s going to need a slit of some sort, or I’ll have to be carried down the aisle. I may not care how I look for the occasion, but I do care if I’m unable to defend myself from a surprise attack due to a lack of mobility.
“You’ll need to add a slit to this dress, up to here,” I tell the girl flitting around me with pins and a measuring tape, tapping my finger just above mid-thigh on my right leg. She looks up at me, surprised that I’ve actually said something for the first time this session started. She’s the one that gasped when she saw my back for the first time and looked at me wide-eyed.
“No! You will do no such thing! It will ruin the look!” stick-insect interjects. “With you all covered up like this, the wolf will be intrigued!”
I freeze.
“What did you say?” My voice was quiet. The kind of quiet that you’d be wise to pay attention to.
(Alicia)As the days blur into weeks, I throw myself headlong into training. Because what else is there to do when your life’s been handed to you on a silver platter by the gods?I throw myself into hand-to-hand combat, the kind where rules are just a suggestion; modern warfare with enough firearms to make any gun enthusiast blush; and then the classics: bows and arrows, daggers, and my personal favorite, the sword. A girl’s gotta have a hobby, right? And all this just to appease Athena’s blessing.But the real challenge? That’s Aphrodite’s gift. I’m still not sure whether to thank her or curse her for it. About three months after I turned 18 and was just getting used to my gift from Athena, this extra marking appeared out of nowhere, signaling my second Elven blessing. Naturally, I freaked out and did what any sensible person would do. I told Darren. His blessing is from Marvi, one of those lesser gods who specializes in keeping secrets, so I figured he was the safest bet.Darren, be
(Alicia)I’m in my apartment warming up an uninspiring mac and cheese when the thought hits me. Someone in my family must marry a woman from another species too. That’s how the exchange works. You give one away, you gain one.And just like that, my curiosity is piqued. Which of my half-brothers are being compelled to offer up the chance to find true love by binding themselves to a stranger for ten years…?Surely, it wouldn’t be crown prince Daniel who’s currently betrothed to one of councilman Galewing’s daughters. If I had to place a bet on it, it would be one of the twins… but which one? Archer, being a minute or so older than Angus, is the official ‘spare’ and therefore too precious to have tied to an inter-species marriage. Which means it must be Angus.Whipping out my new phone I type off a quick text message to him. R U IN IT TOO? THIS 200-YR SWAP?My phone pings about ten minutes later, as I’m licking the cheese sauce off a spoon. It’s a series of emojis, from the full-on cryin
(Alicia)I frown. What was he on about? I just wanted to go on with my anonymous little life among the humans. That’s what I want, what I’ve always wanted.He leans forward eagerly, a glint in his eyes.“Alicia. You are a stunningly beautiful Elven princess who had been doubly blessed by the gods. No one, not even your perfect sister, is that lucky. You are the best warrior that no one knows about or will see coming, and the key to every sensual or fertility dream in this realm. That’s more than one weapon in your arsenal. And handing that over to the enemy, to the one group of supernaturals most hated by the father who had always shunned you... Isn’t that an opportunity?”I stare at him as if he’s lost his mind.“You could be hung for less! Shh! And besides, how exactly do you weaponize that?”He scoffs at me, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Sometimes I can’t believe that you were blessed by both the goddesses of love and of war. Think, Alicia! You have a tactical war brain l
(Alicia)Wtf? Bride swap? I vaguely remember something about the 200-year bride swap being taught as part of our history lessons. I wrack my brains trying to remember exactly what it was about while I wrestle the Long Island Iced Tea back out of Darren’s clutches. He was looking at me like I’m a simpleton he needs to educate.A memory flashes from the back of my mind, the kind you dredge up on quiz night, that you didn’t even know you know, yet somehow you know. The 200-year bride swap. It was this archaic idea to foster harmony and tolerance between the supernatural species. A princess from each kingdom, or if one wasn’t available then a very high-ranking official’s daughter, had to marry the King or other high-ranking official from another species. They needed to stay married for at least 10 years to ensure peace-treaties stay in place for the next 190 years.Which was a complete farce, because what is truly to guarantee peace after the 10 years are up? Or, if the couple managed to
(Alicia)“What did you say?” My voice was quiet. The kind of quiet that you’d be wise to pay attention to.“I said you can’t ruin that dress with a slit. It needs to fully cover you!” She replied, a defiant look in her eyes. But she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear.I turn to the human girl with the dressing pins. “Excuse me, dear. Would you mind giving us a moment of privacy?” I ask politely, and she nods and leave the room.I carefully step off the dais, a feat given the absurd tightness of this dress. Then I kind-of shuffle as best I could towards stick-insect Chiara, stopping a few feet away from her in a non-threatening gesture. Then my hand whipped out at lightning speed, clutching around her throat. Surprised, her eyes pop wide behind the black-rimmed glasses that she surely doesn’t need.“Who am I going to marry?” I ask in that same quiet tone of voice.She squeaked, and I relaxed my grip enough for her to form words.“The… The king of Wolfsreach,” she managed, and my mind
(Alicia)The call from the woman named Chiara comes as I’m once again reduced to eating cereal. I ignore it, along with her next four calls and messages. I’m busy with training, and some part of my brain really wants to ignore the previous day and all its implications.The woman is pushy and clearly a bit miffed that I’ve been ignoring her. Womp-womp.She drones on about dress fittings and flower choices like she’s planning a human wedding. Am I getting married to a human? I only half-listens as she mentions how she’s got this schedule that she’s sharing with my email account and that I ‘better not miss any of the appointments’. But I’m fully awake when she ends the call with ‘Oh, and the King asked me to mention that Luka sends his regards’.A white-hot fury makes me almost sling my phone against the wall, but I rein that anger in quickly. Not here. Not now.Feeling like a naughty schoolgirl who’d been hauled to heel by a schoolmaster, I check my emails. Yes, there are all the neatly







