Chapter 4

I woke up in the infirmary. The cuts on my fingers were bandaged. My knees still ached. The stiffness in my back from crouching for so long had not gone away.

"Lena." Damon was right there, his eyes bloodshot. "You're awake. How do you feel?"

Once, when I collapsed from exhaustion after a night shift, he sat by my bed like this too.

But I was not exhausted. His parents had punished me by making me clean the silver room. And he had stood by and said one word. Fine.

I pulled my hand away from his and would not look at him.

"Lena, the silver room was not so bad. You are human. Silver does not hurt you."

"I crouched there all night. My fingers were cut dozens of times. Do you know what was on those silver items? Rogue blood."

"At least you do not burn from silver like a werewolf would."

I looked at his face. He truly believed that was mercy.

"So you think I hurt that child too?"

Damon did not answer right away. He looked down, then back up. That brief hesitation was answer enough.

"Lena," he said, his voice tight with a frustration he probably did not even notice. "Victoria wouldn't accuse you for no reason. And the child had real injuries. What do you want me to say? That I believe you? The evidence is right there."

Evidence. He meant the red marks Victoria made with her own nails. He meant the tears to her Alpha. He meant the sight of a screaming child that everyone saw.

No one saw me on my knees picking up the pieces of my mother's pendant.

"I keep telling you," Damon said, his voice softer now but carrying that undertone of I am already comforting you. "Once this is over, everything will be fine. Why do you keep picking fights with Victoria?"

Tears fell from my eyes. I thought I could not hurt anymore after that night in the silver room. But my chest still felt like it was being torn open.

I turned my head away so he would not see me like this.

"Leave," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"Just wait a little longer," he said softly, reaching for my hair. "Soon we can go back to how things used to be."

Go back? Could we ever go back?

He had Victoria now. Two children. He pushed me away again and again for them. The treatment room. The silver room. The dungeon. Every time, he called it the best possible outcome.

The door opened. A Beta stood there, looking flustered.

"Damon, Victoria has been crying. She says she needs you. The child is fussy too."

Damon frowned and looked at me.

"I'll be right back."

Two days passed. I stayed in the infirmary, watching the ceiling, counting down the hours until I would disappear forever. The next day was Victoria's daughter's first birthday. The entire Bloodmoon Pack was celebrating.

The great hall was crowded. Alpha Conrad and Luna Catherine held their granddaughter, their faces full of smiles. Gifts piled up on the long tables.

"Damon, this is for Victoria." Luna Catherine handed him a box. Inside was a moonstone ring. "She has given our Bloodmoon such a lovely granddaughter."

Damon took the ring and put it on Victoria's hand. "Thank you," he said, his voice impossibly gentle.

Victoria leaned against him, shy and smiling. The family stood in the center of the great hall, receiving blessings from everyone.

I stood in the corner and watched them. Damon holding his daughter. Victoria leaning on his shoulder. The firelight stretched their three shadows across the floor.

"She looks just like the Alpha."

"Her eyes are like Victoria's. So bright."

"A couple blessed by the Moon Goddess. And their child is so adorable."

"Lena." Victoria walked over to me, her smile sweet. "Let's take a photo together."

"No thank you."

"Don't be shy." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the wall of flags where the Bloodmoon Pack's battle standards hung.

She lowered her voice so only I could hear. "You know, Damon comes to me every night. He tells the child stories. He stays until I fall asleep. He said after this child is born, he will claim me properly before the Moon Goddess."

"When do you think he will throw you out?" she laughed.

I did not answer.

A servant walked by carrying a tray. She tripped on the carpet. The tray slipped from her hands. Everyone looked toward the commotion.

Someone bumped into the flag stand. The great battle standard wobbled, then crashed down.

The flagpole grazed my shoulder as it fell.

Victoria screamed and stumbled backward. She slipped on the fallen tray and fell, clutching her belly.

The great hall erupted into chaos. Damon ran over. His eyes met mine for just a moment. Too fast to tell if he was checking on me or suspecting me.

Then he bent down and picked up Victoria.

"Call the healer," he shouted. "Now."

Victoria curled against him, her face pale. "Damon, will the child be alright?"

"Don't be afraid. I'm here." His voice was low and gentle. "Neither you nor the child will be hurt."

The crowd followed him out of the great hall.

The hall grew quiet. Servants cleaned up the scattered silver and the fallen flag.

I bent down and picked up another piece of my broken pendant.

That night, Damon came back. He stood at my door but did not come in.

"Lena." His voice was cold. Not a question. A statement. "You were standing closest when the flag fell."

I looked at the fragment in my hand and said nothing.

"Victoria said she saw you push the stand."

I looked up at his face. That face that I once thought would always be gentle was completely blank now.

"I did not push the stand," I said.