Chapter 20: Morning After

Nyra's POV

I wake to the smell of cedar and rain.

For one disoriented moment, I don't remember where I am. Then reality crashes back. The cabin. The negotiation. The way Kael cornered me against the wall and looked at me like I was something he'd lost and found again.

I sit up slowly.

Kael is across the room, leaning against the far wall. Watching me.

There's something in his expression I've never seen before. Something raw and broken and utterly without armor.

"How long have you been awake?" My voice comes out rough from sleep.

"Most of the night."

"You should have slept."

"I couldn't."

I notice his jacket draped over me. Still damp. Still smelling like him.

I should throw it off. Should put distance between us immediately.

Instead, I pull it closer.

"Why are you watching me?"

"Because I'm trying to remember."

"Remember what?"

"What you looked like before I broke you."

The words hit harder than they should. I force myself to meet his eyes.

"You can't fix this by staring at me."

"I know." He doesn't look away. "But I can't stop trying."

Silence stretches between us. Outside, birds are starting to sing. Dawn light filters through the window, turning everything soft and golden.

It feels dishonest. Like the world is pretending last night didn't happen.

"We should talk about. . ." I start.

"The rejection destroyed me too."

I freeze. "What?"

"You asked what changed. Why I'm here now instead of five years ago." Kael's voice is quiet but steady. "The truth is nothing changed. I've been destroyed since the moment I said those words in front of the pack."

"Don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Make yourself the victim. You chose to reject me. You chose duty over. . ."

"Over you. I know." He pushes off the wall, takes two steps closer. "I chose my pack. I chose tradition. I chose to believe the Council's prophecy over my own instincts. And it destroyed me anyway."

"Good."

"Is it?" He stops. "Does knowing I suffered make you feel better?"

I want to say yes. Want to feel vindicated.

But the truth is more complicated.

"No," I admit. "It just makes everything worse."

"Why?"

"Because I want to hate you. I need to hate you. It's the only thing keeping me safe."

"Safe from what?"

"From this." I gesture between us. "From the bond. From the part of me that still. . ." I stop.

Can't finish that sentence.

Won't finish it.

Kael takes another step. We're five feet apart now. Close enough to see every detail. Far enough to run if I need to.

"Say it," he says softly.

"No."

"Nyra. . ."

"I can't fully hate you." The words tear out of me like a confession. "I can't hate you and it terrifies me more than anything else. More than the Council. More than Dorian. More than my own power."

"Why does it terrify you?"

"Because hate is simple. Hate is safe. Hate means I can keep fighting without wondering if I'm destroying something that matters."

"And if you can't hate me?"

"Then I have to consider that maybe..." I stop again. Breathe. "That maybe you're not the enemy anymore. That maybe the system is. That maybe we're both just casualties of something bigger."

"We are."

"But you still chose it. You still stood there and said I wasn't worthy."

"I was wrong."

"Being wrong doesn't erase what you did."

"I know." His voice cracks slightly. "But I'm not asking for erasure. I'm asking for a chance to choose differently now."

"Why should I give you that?"

"Because you feel it too. The pull. The bond. The impossible, infuriating fact that we're still connected despite everything."

I want to deny it. Want to lie.

But I'm so tired of lying.

"The bond is corrupted."

"Maybe that's what makes it honest." Kael moves closer. Three feet now. "It's not fate. It's not destiny. It's just two broken people who can't seem to let go of something that should have died five years ago."

"That's not romantic. That's tragic."

"Maybe it's both."

I stand up. His jacket falls from my shoulders. I should feel relieved. Instead, I feel colder.

"I spent five years building a life where I didn't need anyone," I say. "Where I was powerful enough that no one could hurt me again. And then you show up and. . ."

"And what?"

"And I'm not sure anymore. If I'm strong because I survived. Or if I'm just scared of being weak again."

"You're the strongest person I know."

"Don't."

"It's true."

"Strength and fear aren't mutually exclusive, Kael. I can be both. I am both."

He reaches out slowly. Gives me time to step back.

I don't.

His hand cups my jaw. The same way it did last night. Gentle. Reverent.

"I can't give you back what I took," he says. "But I can stand beside you now. I can choose you every day until you believe it's real."

"And what happens when the Council comes? When they force you to choose between me and your pack again?"

"I already chose."

"That's easy to say here. In this cabin. Away from everything."

"Then let me prove it when it matters."

The moment hangs between us. Fragile. Dangerous.

Then the door slams open.

Mira stands in the doorway, breathing hard. Her clothes are torn. Blood streaks her arms.

"Rogues," she gasps. "They're attacking the Sanctuary Den. Right now."

Ice floods my veins.

I'm moving before I think. Grabbing my jacket. Heading for the door.

"How many?" I demand.

"Twenty. Maybe more."

"Casualties?"

"Unknown. Elena sent a runner before they breached the perimeter."

Elena. The wolves I promised to protect. The sanctuary I built to be safe.

Silver light sparks at my fingertips.

"Nyra, wait. . ." Kael starts.

"No." I don't look back. "Those are my people. I'm not waiting."

I run.

Through the door. Into the forest. Toward danger without hesitation.

Because this is what matters. This is what I chose.

Footsteps pound behind me.

Kael. Following.

He doesn't question why. Doesn't try to stop me.

He just runs beside me toward the same fight.