Garter Belts

SELENA'S P.O.V

I cleaned out the guns and daggers, laying them out on the floor in the room. I stepped back, my eyes taking in the weapons. Most of them were my hunting gear, as I have had no use for weapons in five years.

The sun was already coming up, and tomorrow would be the full moon festival. I put the weapons away, then crawled into bed next to Amanda.

I held her tight in my arms, my fingers gently caressing down her hair. Will there be a time after she is grown enough to understand when I will need to understand?

She had never really asked about her father, but sometimes, it feels like she may be filling that spot with Alan. As much as that was the most sensible choice, I knew deep down that I would hate for her to not know Alpha Cole. Maybe not the man that he is right now. But maybe the man he used to be. The man who had treated me like a human.

I closed my eyes. Deep down, I knew I was lying. I knew I would never be able to use a weapon on him. Not if his eyes were still that deep blue. Not if he still put his hair up in a bun and...

"Selena?"

I sat up, my eyes wide. It was Jackson's voice.

I got out of bed carefully, then walked to the door. Jackson was there, his eyes downcast. He looked like he hadn't slept or eaten. Like he was hollowed out.

"I am sorry," I said before he could say a word. "You have done everything for us. I got selfish and in my feelings and..."

He gently pulled me into his embrace, his hand running up and down my back.

"I felt so awful for hitting you," he said, his voice shaky. "Forgive me, Selena. I was scared. Scared that the harmony in this place would change whether Gabriel is punished or not. Scared that we might never be able to come back from this."

I slowly leaned away, wiping the tears away from his cheeks.

"I was serious, Jackson. I am going to bring them back."

He nodded slowly. "I know. I saw Alan bringing you weapons. But Selena... regardless of what happened between you and Alpha Cole... he really wasn't bad to us."

"Jackson..."

"Listen to me," he said, holding on to my hands desperately. "He really really had the intentions of letting us go. Even Mila said it before I left. She said he was different from your stories of him, and... and... "

"He is good with that," I said, my chest heaving. "Why do you think I was in love with him? Why do you think I have Amanda?"

He swallowed hard, then slowly nodded. "I won't stop you. But... think hard. Think really hard. He is still Amanda's father."

I bit down on my lips, and he kissed my forehead in his usual fatherly way before he turned and walked away.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur of quiet preparations and the sound of Jackson's voice in my head.

What if there really was a disconnect? What if Alpha Cole and I were standing on two sides of a coin and neither was real?

Amanda completed yet another twirl, then turned to me.

"That was beautiful, sweetheart!" I said, clapping my hands. "You are going to be the best dancer at the ball tomorrow."

She giggled, then sat on my outstretched lap. I looked down at her. The blue eyes, the brown hair, the nose scrunch, and I wondered if I would ever be able to look her in the eyes if I did something to her father.

Dusk fell, and I stayed awake as Amanda slept off. I cleaned the weapons once more, then pulled out the dancer dress I had gotten hastily made. It was close enough to what I remembered the dancers of Blackmoon wore, and it had a mask that covered my face.

I closed my eyes. I will do this. If I can, I will avoid Alpha Cole. I will find Mila and Lily, bring them back, and we can go on and put Blackmoon behind us.

The settlement was illuminated with lights that they had been setting up all morning. . The large centre carried the massive table that had been used for the feasts, but the women kept on piling more and more dishes, way more than we had ever made for the feast. Time had passed like sand through my fingers, and now.. today, I would go to Blackmoon.

The sun was high up now, but I needed to be around Blackmoon by the time the sun would start to set so that I would be able to make it to the banquet hall in time.

I closed my eyes again, steadying my nerves.

"Ready?" Alan said, appearing behind me.

I turned, then nodded. "Amanda is off playing in the fields. She is so excited for the dance."

Alan sighed. "I can let her enjoy the dance for a while."

My eyes widened. "You would do that?"

He nodded. "Yes. It takes an hour or a little more to get to Blackmoon. Once she partakes in one or two dances, I know you would have entered the palace. I will go to the omega settlement and make sure we all come back safe. That might be the best thing to do."

I nodded. "Thank you very much, Alan. I just... I am very paranoid and this would be the longest I would be without her. And just leaving her here... it feels a little..."

"I understand. You trust them, but you trust me more. Right?"

Did I?

I nodded slowly. "I just want Amanda safe no matter what. If after you get to the omega settlement and wait an hour and I am not there yet... leave. Come back here. This will be the safest place for her."

He closed the distance. "You are going to come back to me, Selena. I will make sure you do."

The words sent a chill down my spine, and I slowly nodded. He leaned in, his right hand cupping my chin, his breath ghosting against my skin.

I felt my breath hitch, and my eyes darted to the floor, my chest heaving.

"Still?" He asked, his voice low.

"I will get ready."

He gave a small laugh, then nodded and moved away. I stayed there for a second longer, guilt gnawing at my insides, before I walked away.

I took a cold shower, then stepped out. I dried my hair and curled it into the large, bouncy curls the dancers normally wore. I put on the garter belt under my dress, then pushed in the daggers and my guns inside. I could feel the cold metal graze my thigh with every move, like a silent reminder of my mission.

I wore the dancer dress, then tightened the corset myself. I turned to the mirror, as I pushed the mask into the small backpack I was carrying.

I looked believable. But I felt far from it. I would be in the same space as Alpha Cole once more. Breathing the same air. I closed my eyes.

You are not there for him, Selena. You are not.

Alan was waiting with Amanda when I stepped outside. Jackson simply gave me a small smile, but made no move to approach me or stop me.

"Mummy looks like a princess!" Amanda said, jumping a little the moment she saw me.

I smiled, then leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I will be back to dance with you, Amanda."

She beamed. "Promise? Aunt Mila and Lily did not promise so they did not come back."

My heart sank. I didn't have it in me to tell her I would be going to where they had gone too.

"I promise. Pinky promise. You wouldn't even notice I am gone."

I hugged her tight, and her little fingers played with my hair before I set her back down.

Alan met my eyes, then gave me a small smile. "I will make it in time to bring all of you back. I will come with her."

I nodded. "Thank you very much."

Alan wouldn't do a thing to her. He wouldn't.

I looked around, my heart hammering as I took in the settlement. The lights, the forced laughter that was definitely not complete without Mila and Lily.

I sighed, then turned away, leaving the settlement behind.

The sun had started to set when I arrived at the unguarded omega settlement of Blackmoon.

I slipped in, my eyes darting across the space. It was quiet, and just like the violence didn't reach them, the celebrations didn't either.

I made my way through to the packhouse. Luckily, the dance troupe were still there, getting ready, making last minute preparations.

"Hey!" I said with false cheer, and mingled amongst them, enough for them to believe I was part, but not enough for them to question who I was. The group was always more loose than strictly organised.

"Alright, girls! Let's go to the palace!" Came the command, and all the girls immediately broke into a cheer.

I joined, clapping and laughing, feeling the weapons against my thigh. The palace, again.

Finally.