Chapter 14 Preparation-2

    Lena felt really guilty for scaring her little daughter.

  On the same night of that afternoon where she repeated that nightmare about Talia and Vincent, right after she tucked Angela in as always, the little girl suddenly said “Wait, Mommy!” and then passed Lena her favorite toy wolf.

  “It will protect you in bad dreams,” the little girl said with innocent assurance sparkling in her beautiful green eyes.

  Lena smiled, but actually felt like crying. She took the toy wolf and said “Thank you, sweetheart”, and then kissed the little girl’s forehead, whispered “Good night” before she went out of the bedroom and closed the door.

  Outside, the living room was kind of dark, and lonely under the dim orange light from the floor lamp beside the sofa. Lena turned off the lamp first, and then went back to her own bedroom with that toy wolf in her hand.

  She kissed the toy wolf and put it beside her pillow before she went to sleep. It kind of worked. Lena had some real rest that night. She still had the same nightmare, but Talia wasn’t there anymore. Only her son, Lucas, sitting there alone in that same dark, cold place with his back to her. No matter how hard she tried, how desperate she yelled, the boy just wouldn’t turn his head to take a look at her.

  Lena cried again, in her dreams, but at least this time, she didn’t have to wake herself up and slept through the whole night.

  The next day, when she opened her eyes, the warm, golden autumn sunlight shone into her bedroom through the sheer white curtain. She weirdly felt the weight on her heart lighten a little, and then her bedroom door was knocked.

  “Who is it?” she asked.

  Angela’s cute voice came from outside. “It’s me, Mommy! I brought you a cup of milk,” the little girl answered.

  Lena couldn’t help but curl up her lips. Angela was a really, really smart girl. Whenever she wanted something special, she served her mom breakfast at the beginning of the day. Sometimes, it was a jar of fruit jam, sometimes, it was a piece of raw bread. But milk was different. To get that milk, the little girl had to use the stool to reach the higher shelf of the fridge. And a carton of milk could be really heavy for a five-year-old to carry. The little girl must want something really different today. And she wanted it badly.

  “Please come in,” Lena answered while sitting up from the bed.

  Angela then raised her little arm and twisted the doorknob. After the door was open, she slowly walked inside with a small purple pottery cup holding in between her little hands. It was a cup Lena and she made together at their pottery trial class and she knew Lena loved that cup.

  “Here you are, Mommy. It’s great milk.” She stopped at Lena’s bedside and passed the cup to her.

  Lena noticed the cup was half full and there was spilled milk on the handle of the cup. Apparently, some sort of accident happened when the little girl poured the milk. But Lena knew the little girl had done her best.

  She took the cup and said “Thank you, sweetie. It’s very nice of you”, and then drank the milk.

  Angela stared at her the whole time while she was drinking the milk. After she put down the cup, Angela instantly asked, “Does it taste good, Mommy?”

  Lena smiled, and answered, “Yes, it’s yummy.”

  Angela then hooked her little hands behind her back, and then asked, “Could I ask you something, Mommy?”

  Lena couldn’t quit smiling. She put the cup on the nightstand, and then pulled out a tissue to wipe her hands, and then asked, “Sure, what do you want?”

  Angela averted her gaze to the floor first to think, and then looked back at Lena and asked, “Can you prepare a school bag for a friend of mine like you prepared for me, Mommy?”

  Lena was surprised to hear that Angela had already made a friend. The little girl hadn’t enrolled in her new kindergarten until next Monday. And they hadn’t gotten the chance to meet their new neighbors yet.

  “Who’s your friend, sweetie?” Lena asked curiously and also with worry.

  Angela answered quickly. “It’s a little boy at the same age as me. We met at the park,” she said, and then explained, “He will go to the same kindergarten with me. But he doesn’t have a schoolbag yet because his Mommy isn’t around him. Can you prepare him one like you prepared for me?”

  Lena fell into silence. Her heart twitched when she heard the Mommy thing. It sounded so much like what might have happened to her son, Lucas. And she couldn’t even imagine how she would react if she found out Talia hadn’t even prepared a schoolbag for her poor child.

  She fought hard to suppress her emotion, and then smiled at Angela, “Did he ask you for a schoolbag, sweetie?”

  Angela shook her head. “No, he didn’t,” she answered, and then explained, “But I knew he wanted one, just like mine, prepared by his mommy.”

  Lena pressed her lips. She would love to help the child and buy him a new one. But it just wasn’t right to show too much concern for a child who wasn’t hers. It could cause serious issues.

  “It’s very nice of you, sweetie,” she said to Angela softly, but refused her request, “But we can’t just give things out like that. If your friend’s parents didn’t want him to accept a gift from others, they might get upset or angry with you or your friend. I am so sorry, sweetie. But we can’t give him a schoolbag without his parents’ permission.”

  That was an unexpected answer. Angela pouted with disappointment, but she soon tried again.

  “His name is Lucas, Mommy, and he was born on the same day as me,” she said, staring at Lena with her beautiful green eyes, “He is like a big brother of mine, and he really, really wants a schoolbag prepared by Mommy.”

  Lena felt her heart being shot. There were a lot of people out there born on the same day, even on the same second, and were called by the same name. Still, it sounded like such a coincidence. And she just couldn’t stop the tears and guilt which were flooding her heart at the very second.

  She quickly nodded her head and said “Okay! Alright! Let’s go get a new schoolbag for him”, knowing she was doing completely the wrong thing, but couldn’t help it.

  There was a child out there, who sounded so much like her son, and he needed his mommy. How could she ever ignore it?

  She quickly got off the bed and got dressed, and then helped Angela wash her little hands and face, and then braided the little girl’s hair.

  After everything was ready, they took a taxi and went to the supermarket.

  It was still early in the morning. There weren’t a lot of people. Angela pulled Lena’s hand and went to the same store they stopped the last time.

  She picked the same schoolbag Lena bought for her but in a different color, and then the same crayons, notebooks, the water bottle, even the same eraser.

  Lena couldn’t help but smile. She reminded the little girl, “He is a boy, sweetie. He might want something different from yours.”

  Angela shook her head. “No, he wanted everything the same as mine. I knew it,” she said.

  They then had lunch at the market, and then went back home. Once they got back, Angela fumbled out the blank name tag from the shopping bag and passed it to Lena.

  “Can you write his name for me, Mommy?” she asked.

  Lena nodded her head, and then wrote down the little boy’s name on the name tag. She had done it a couple of times before. Everything she prepared for Angela, she secretly prepared an extra one for her son, Lucas. Clothes, books, and school supplies were all stocked in the closet of Lena’s bedroom. She just never let Angela know about it.

  She put the name tag into the schoolbag with Angela together, along with other stuff.

  The next day before Angela went out with her nanny to the park, Lena helped Angela carry the schoolbag on her shoulders, and then reminded the little girl, “Ask for his father before you give it to him, alright? If his father didn’t want him to have it, then bring it back, sweetie.” The little girl had told Lena that the boy would be in the park with his father this afternoon.

  Angela nodded her head quietly. She then hesitated for a few moments and then asked Lena.

  “Do you want to come with me, Mommy? He would be happy to meet you,” she said with uncertainty.

  Lena smiled but shook her head. Buying a strange boy whom she had never met before stationery had already been out of the line. If she met the boy in person and mistook him for her real son, it would be unfair to both of the children.

  She cupped Angela’s little face and said, “Thank you, sweetie, but Mom’s going to stay at home. You have a good time with your friend, alright?”

  Angela then nodded her head and slowly turned around.

  Before she went out with the nanny, she suddenly turned her back and said, “I will bring you a gift, Mommy!”

  Lena nodded her head with a smile, and then waved “Goodbye” to her angel girl.