LOGIN~ JOCELYN ~
Outside, the packhouse gardens have been transformed beautifully for the ceremony. Glowing lanterns of amber and golden colors are dancing in the summer night wind. Up in the sky, the moon is full—already blessing our union. The pack members are already present to witness everything. As I step into view, every head turns towards me. Some offer smiles. Some murmur. Some only watch me as I start walking down the aisle to meet the only man I have ever loved in my entire life. My Caspian. I pour all my attention on him and him alone. These pack members don’t really know me like Caspian does. I have lived among them for fifteen years, and yet I have always been the forbidden ghost existing in their circles. Barely spoken to. Barely remembered. Only tolerated because of Caspian. But I don’t need their approval. Only Caspian’s. And tonight, I am going to be his Luna. I am going to love him forever because he loves me too and together, we will overcome any challenges that will stand in our way. I love him. I know I do. Right there at the altar, he looks like a dreamy snack. Tall, muscular, extremely handsome, pink lips with dark blue eyes and curly, dark chocolate hair. The black tailored suit he is wearing fits every inch of him like it was made for a king. The king of my heart. Of my world. I have always joked to myself that our blue eyes will always be a testament that we are made for each other. Mine are glassy. His are darker, adding to the irresistible grace of his beauty. However, it is not the beauty that steals my breath as I walk towards him. It is the way he looks at me. Or… the way he doesn’t. There is no warmth in those eyes that beautifully haunts my dreams. No smile. No hint of the boy who once picked moonflowers to make me laugh. His blue eyes are distant. Pale. I falter mid-step, but I quickly recover myself. However, my stomach twists when my eyes shift my attention to the person I now see standing beside him. Lycena Bale. My heart drops. Lycena has always bullied me and made it clear that I was beneath her. She is the daughter of Gamma Bale. Her bloodline is prestigious. Pure. Mine… is not. Nevertheless, I keep moving. Lycena is standing there beside him, looking like the evil beauty she is made of; Snarky pink mouth. Vicious green eyes. Long raven black hair cascading over one bare shoulder. Her killer body is dressed up in a tight fitted white gown that looks so much like a wedding dress. Wait…. is that really a wedding dress? And her hand is touching Caspian’s arm. Really touching him and even caressing up to his shoulders and hair. The touch is… intimate. A seductive act that only I should be doing to him and no one else. Her lips are curled in a smirk that makes bile rise in my throat. What is she doing there?! I try not to let the heat rise in my cheeks as I reach the altar. The murmurs from the crowd dies off when the Head Elder begins the ceremonial rites, calling upon the Moon Goddess to bless our union, to protect our future, to unite our souls as one. But as the words filter into my ears, all I keep doing is watching Caspian. He hasn’t looked at me once. He only stares straight ahead behind me. I can see the muscles ticking in his neck. He acts like I am not even here, like I am not standing right in front of him. And Lycena hasn’t stepped back. She is still beside him. Why hasn’t anyone told her to fucking move? “Jocelyn Valdez,” the Head Elder’s unusual loud voice draws my attention back. “Standing here in the presence of the one your soul has chosen to be your forever love, do you offer yourself as Luna, heart and soul, to Alpha Caspian King of Nightfall, not just in the sunlit seasons of joy, but also in the shadowed valleys of hardship? Will you choose him, again and again, not because you must, but because even when the world offers a thousand paths, your heart still kneels only for him?” My mouth is suddenly dry. My heart is breaking, and I don’t even understand why. Well, nerves….. “I do.” I respond, hoping that my answer will somehow make Caspian smile. However, he doesn't. He doesn't even show any signs of happiness. None. My heart breaks even further. Is this how my new chapter is going to start? Unhappy and cold and— “And do you, Alpha Caspian King of Nightfall, accept Jocelyn Valdez as your Luna, to stand beside you in happiness and sorrow?” The Head Elder brings me back once more as she speaks to Caspian, continuing, “Will you continue to love her, to cherish her, to be her sunrise and her happiness, her laughter and her peace? Will you walk with her through every lifetime, beginning with this one, and choose her not just today, but always, promising to keep nurturing this love side by side, soul by soul?” Silence. A silence that cuts me to my bones. Caspian is not saying anything, but I wait. I keep waiting. Everyone keeps waiting. The Head Elder glances at him. Her brow furrows. “Alpha Caspian?” Still, my love says nothing. Instead, he turns his head. And finally, finally, he looks at me. Those eyes…. what I see in those lovely dark blue eyes shatters me. Pity. Coldness. Like he is fed up with something…. Or someone. “I can’t do this,” he finally speaks. His voice is so flat and emotionless. “What?” I breathe, unable to clearly hear my own voice. “I said I can't do this, Jocelyn.” Gasps ripple throughout the crowd. Everyone begins to murmur again, louder this time. I feel the judgement of every stare like knives stabbing into my body. But I don't care about them. The whispers. The stares. I don't care. They can hurt me. But Caspian…. He…. He called me Jocelyn. He has never called me Jocelyn. I have always been Josie, Blue, or Fireheart to him. Fireheart because of my red hair and how I never give up on anything or anyone. And now, I am not about to give up on him, even though I am deeply breaking inside me. Even though I am still trying to wrap my head around everything that is happening to me right now. I want to understand. I want to believe that this is a dream. A bad dream. “Caspian,” I call him softly and take a small step forward. I lift my hand to cradle his face, but he flinches away and quickly steps back. Just one step. But it was enough to blur my eyes with tears. Enough to increase the pain and add to the confusion. What is going on? “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. His face hardens. I watch his eyes flick briefly towards the whispering crowd. And then to Lycena. Why… why is he looking at her? When he finally spares me his attention, that cold look of pity are still there in those charming blue eyes as he speaks: “The Moon Goddess may have chosen you for me, but I… I don’t. You're not Luna material. You never were.”~ ELIAN ~ Pain. Pure, crushing pain. That’s the first thing I feel inside my entire body the instant I wake up and stir. The pain is deeper than any physical pain I've ever felt, and the parts of my body that hurt the most are my shoulders and ribs. Fuck. I thought I died. The realization that I'm not dead yet fills me with both happiness and fear. Yes, I'm alive, but why didn't they finish me off? Also, where am I? I stir further to the point where I'm able to sit up properly. A painful groan rips out of me when my ribs crack. It's really painful, as if someone continued beating me even after I was knocked out. My throat burns. My chest hurts, and I feel like my bones are grinding together to make sure I suffer more. I should be healed by now, so why is my body taking this long amount of time to heal? Lycena. That bitch! Whatever her nails did to me when they pierced my shoulders must be the reason why I'm still in so much pain. But where am I? My eyes peel open slowly.
~ ELIAN ~ I feel sick about this. My eyes stay on Lycena as she pedals faster. The moonlight is my only guide, painting the woods in a wash of white while the shadows of the trees keep creating their own darkness. Every muscle in my body is straining as I keep pushing myself forward and keeping low, and my wolf inside me is demanding to be released, but I fight down the urge to give in and shift. I can’t shift now. I'm not with any spare clothes to change into if I shift and then transform back to my human form naked. I want to contact Jocelyn, but I can't risk it, especially since I don't know where this woman is heading to and I could be putting Jocelyn in more danger than the one she's already drowning in. I can't risk doing anything that will raise more suspicions and accusations against her. With that decided, I chase Lycena alone and faster, but not too loud to raise any suspicion. I've also masked my scent, but even that is not enough because my guts are telling me that so
~ ELIAN ~ I had told Jocelyn to let me carry some of her pain. And truly, I meant every word. To be honest, being here in the Nightfall Pack feels like living in a foreign jungle where I have no protection. This place doesn't feel like home, and the answer is pretty simple. Many idiots live here. And there's so much going on behind the scenes that doesn't make any sense but still affects everything in the wrong way. Take for instance that shit Caspian pulled today. It doesn't make any sense that he accused Jocelyn of being the traitor when he knows how much she has sacrificed to help in ending the attacks. Even thinking about his foul accusation now only angers me more. But that aside, I believe Jocelyn is right about Caspian being manipulated, and we need to get to the bottom of this before it becomes worse. I let out a sigh and pause on my stroll near the servants' quarters not too far from the guesthouse. I find an empty rail near the walkway and rest on it, breathing in the n
~ ELIAN ~ “He’s a fucking idiot!” I yell as soon as I enter the private sitting room of the guesthouse where we stayed during the summit. I dump our travelling bags on the ground and begin pacing the room, going back and forth with my blood boiling inside my veins. That asshole! He has lost his fucking mind. That’s the only explanation. Behind me, the door clicks shut softly. I turn just in time to see Jocelyn wiping her red puffy eyes and looking fragile, as if she is holding herself together with the last threads of strength she has left. Her bag slides from her shoulder and hits the floor with a dull thud. She doesn’t look at me. She doesn’t move. She just stands there, staring at the rug with her hands trembling at her sides. I stop pacing. Seeing her like this twists my anger into another feeling. A painful feeling that has me wondering why the hell Alpha Caspian behaved that way. The images of everything that happened back in that office swim through my head in a rapid rush
~ JOCELYN ~What?Tears sting my eyes instantly, but I fight them back. “Wait, you think I’m working with the monster who wants to kill me? Are you insane?”“You're the one who is insane for lying to everyone and having the damn guts to tell me that you're suspecting someone else of being the traitor when the bloody traitor has been you all along. How dare you lie to me?”“And how dare you invite me here to listen to this garbage?!” My voice cracks, both broken and angry. “Who's feeding you lies about me? Is it Lycena? Tell me, is it her?!”“Shut up you liar!” He unfolds his arms, his fists clenched so tight the veins strain against his skin. “Lycena has nothing to do with this. In fact, I think she's been right about you all these years.”“What?” “You heard me. Don’t play innocent. Don’t you dare. Thanox knew about the summit. He knew exactly where and when to strike. And the only person he bloody had access to was you.”It's my turn to chuckle. “Wow. If that is why you think I'm th
~ JOCELYN ~ Over a week has passed since the summit ended. Over a week of restless nights and pretending to focus back home here when really, all I’ve been doing is replaying Caspian in my head over and over again. During these past few days, I also took Declan's advice and thought long and hard about a lot of things. Turns out Declan is right. Choosing to forgive Caspian doesn't mean I'm weak. It means that I'm stronger than the person who hurt me and that I'm moving forward without anything or anyone holding me back. But now, being here in Declan's office and staring at the envelope between us as he waits for my reply to what he said to me earlier, something feels off. Caspian wants me to come back to the Nightfall Pack for something urgent, and somehow, it doesn't feel… right. “Jocelyn?” “Mhm?” I look up from the envelope, meeting his eyes. “Do you want to go?” he asks quietly, “I mean this…” he taps the letter, “this feels sudden.” “I know, but I'm sure there must be a go







