~ JOCELYN ~
Outside, the packhouse gardens have been transformed beautifully for the ceremony. Glowing lanterns of amber and golden colors are dancing in the summer night wind. Up in the sky, the moon is full—already blessing our union. The pack members are already present to witness everything. As I step into view, every head turns towards me. Some offer smiles. Some murmur. Some only watch me as I start walking down the aisle to meet the only man I have ever loved in my entire life. My Caspian. I pour all my attention on him and him alone. These pack members don’t really know me like Caspian does. I have lived among them for fifteen years, and yet I have always been the forbidden ghost existing in their circles. Barely spoken to. Barely remembered. Only tolerated because of Caspian. But I don’t need their approval. Only Caspian’s. And tonight, I am going to be his Luna. I am going to love him forever because he loves me too and together, we will overcome any challenges that will stand in our way. I love him. I know I do. Right there at the altar, he looks like a dreamy snack. Tall, muscular, extremely handsome, pink lips with dark blue eyes and curly, dark chocolate hair. The black tailored suit he is wearing fits every inch of him like it was made for a king. The king of my heart. Of my world. I have always joked to myself that our blue eyes will always be a testament that we are made for each other. Mine are glassy. His are darker, adding to the irresistible grace of his beauty. However, it is not the beauty that steals my breath as I walk towards him. It is the way he looks at me. Or… the way he doesn’t. There is no warmth in those eyes that beautifully haunts my dreams. No smile. No hint of the boy who once picked moonflowers to make me laugh. His blue eyes are distant. Pale. I falter mid-step, but I quickly recover myself. However, my stomach twists when my eyes shift my attention to the person I now see standing beside him. Lycena Bale. My heart drops. Lycena has always bullied me and made it clear that I was beneath her. She is the daughter of Gamma Bale. Her bloodline is prestigious. Pure. Mine… is not. Nevertheless, I keep moving. Lycena is standing there beside him, looking like the evil beauty she is made of; Snarky pink mouth. Vicious green eyes. Long raven black hair cascading over one bare shoulder. Her killer body is dressed up in a tight fitted white gown that looks so much like a wedding dress. Wait…. is that really a wedding dress? And her hand is touching Caspian’s arm. Really touching him and even caressing up to his shoulders and hair. The touch is… intimate. A seductive act that only I should be doing to him and no one else. Her lips are curled in a smirk that makes bile rise in my throat. What is she doing there?! I try not to let the heat rise in my cheeks as I reach the altar. The murmurs from the crowd dies off when the Head Elder begins the ceremonial rites, calling upon the Moon Goddess to bless our union, to protect our future, to unite our souls as one. But as the words filter into my ears, all I keep doing is watching Caspian. He hasn’t looked at me once. He only stares straight ahead behind me. I can see the muscles ticking in his neck. He acts like I am not even here, like I am not standing right in front of him. And Lycena hasn’t stepped back. She is still beside him. Why hasn’t anyone told her to fucking move? “Jocelyn Valdez,” the Head Elder’s unusual loud voice draws my attention back. “Standing here in the presence of the one your soul has chosen to be your forever love, do you offer yourself as Luna, heart and soul, to Alpha Caspian King of Nightfall, not just in the sunlit seasons of joy, but also in the shadowed valleys of hardship? Will you choose him, again and again, not because you must, but because even when the world offers a thousand paths, your heart still kneels only for him?” My mouth is suddenly dry. My heart is breaking, and I don’t even understand why. Well, nerves….. “I do.” I respond, hoping that my answer will somehow make Caspian smile. However, he doesn't. He doesn't even show any signs of happiness. None. My heart breaks even further. Is this how my new chapter is going to start? Unhappy and cold and— “And do you, Alpha Caspian King of Nightfall, accept Jocelyn Valdez as your Luna, to stand beside you in happiness and sorrow?” The Head Elder brings me back once more as she speaks to Caspian, continuing, “Will you continue to love her, to cherish her, to be her sunrise and her happiness, her laughter and her peace? Will you walk with her through every lifetime, beginning with this one, and choose her not just today, but always, promising to keep nurturing this love side by side, soul by soul?” Silence. A silence that cuts me to my bones. Caspian is not saying anything, but I wait. I keep waiting. Everyone keeps waiting. The Head Elder glances at him. Her brow furrows. “Alpha Caspian?” Still, my love says nothing. Instead, he turns his head. And finally, finally, he looks at me. Those eyes…. what I see in those lovely dark blue eyes shatters me. Pity. Coldness. Like he is fed up with something…. Or someone. “I can’t do this,” he finally speaks. His voice is so flat and emotionless. “What?” I breathe, unable to clearly hear my own voice. “I said I can't do this, Jocelyn.” Gasps ripple throughout the crowd. Everyone begins to murmur again, louder this time. I feel the judgement of every stare like knives stabbing into my body. But I don't care about them. The whispers. The stares. I don't care. They can hurt me. But Caspian…. He…. He called me Jocelyn. He has never called me Jocelyn. I have always been Josie, Blue, or Fireheart to him. Fireheart because of my red hair and how I never give up on anything or anyone. And now, I am not about to give up on him, even though I am deeply breaking inside me. Even though I am still trying to wrap my head around everything that is happening to me right now. I want to understand. I want to believe that this is a dream. A bad dream. “Caspian,” I call him softly and take a small step forward. I lift my hand to cradle his face, but he flinches away and quickly steps back. Just one step. But it was enough to blur my eyes with tears. Enough to increase the pain and add to the confusion. What is going on? “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. His face hardens. I watch his eyes flick briefly towards the whispering crowd. And then to Lycena. Why… why is he looking at her? When he finally spares me his attention, that cold look of pity are still there in those charming blue eyes as he speaks: “The Moon Goddess may have chosen you for me, but I… I don’t. You're not Luna material. You never were.”~ JOCELYN ~‘Easy there, little wolf. You're safe now…’That voice.It sweeps softly through the haziness in my mind like a breeze brushing across my skin—warm, calm, and gentle in a way that comforts me. My body feels heavy as I blink slowly, trying to open my eyes.At first, all I can see is just a fog of whiteness. Just then, my mind starts booting up too. I remember the forest. I remember running away from Caspian and everything that shattered my heart on the day that was supposed to be the best day of my life. I remember being so weak and tired that I fainted after I crossed the boundary—Wait.Where… am I?My heart beats faster, and finally, my eyes adjust clearly.The first thing I see is a roof above me—wooden beams curved gently high over my head. The wood is warm brown in color, polished, but still looks a bit old. Also, there is a giant open window near the wall close to the roof. Soft golden sunlight spills into the room through the window. The air in here smells like lav
~ CASPIAN ~ What have I done? The question drips into my mind like poison. I can still hear the gasps. The whispers. The silence that followed when I spoke those cruel words. "You’re not Luna material. You never were.” Those words keep replaying in my head like a broken song. The Luna Ceremony ended hours ago, but it still feels like I am standing there, on the altar, staring into her eyes as I destroyed everything between us. Outside my windows, the night is still. I am sitting alone in my office. In the darkness. The fire in the hearth has long gone cold. Shadows stretch across the room, only dispelled by the few spills of moonlight shining through the windows. I am alone. Completely isolated. My back aches from sitting too long, and my hand keeps rubbing the middle of my chest to stop the sharp, painful swelling I feel under my shirt. The pain of rejecting her. Also, there is something else going on inside me. For about two months now, I have been having serious chest pain
~ JOCELYN ~I run.Tears pour from my eyes and bathe my cheeks, but I don’t stop running. I don’t stop running when I hear Lycena’s laughter. I don’t stop running when I hear someone shout my name.I run like the ceremony never started.I run like I was never meant to wear this white wedding dress tonight.I run like I was never mated to Caspian.I run from us. From everything.I just keep running.Because if I stop… I will collapse.And if I collapse…I am afraid I may never get up again.I have nothing left—no pack, no mate, no future.Just the broken pieces of everything I once believed in.The hem of my gown tangles around my ankles as I run past houses and streets, catching sight of the pack's boundary far ahead of me. The wedding dress snags on thorns, drags through the dirt, and tears inch by inch behind me like it knows my dream is dead and wants no part of it anymore.My Caspian rejected me.He destroyed us. He ruined everything we shared and chose that snake as his Luna. He
~ JOCELYN~“You're not Luna material. You never were.”My knees weaken as those poisonous words stab straight into my heart and steal every ounce of oxygen from my lungs.More gasps and loud whispers fill the air.Did he really say that?Did Caspian, my mate, my best friend, my love, my future, just say that to me?In front of everyone?The whispers from the crowd are not helping. I feel like fainting, but I don't give in.I won’t embarrass myself further. I… I just want to understand why Caspian is doing this to me. To us.“Caspian, I-I don't understand.” I stutter in a whisper, “Are you nervous? I am too, but… but I understand. So what's going on? Is this some kind of prank?”He swallows, not saying anything. I hate the way he is looking at me like I am an embarrassment to him.“Answer me!” I yell, my voice cracking. “Caspian, why—”“I have to do what is best for the pack,” he cuts me off coldly, “And you’re not the best, Jocelyn Valdez.”No!This isn't my Caspian. He is speaking to
~ JOCELYN ~Outside, the packhouse gardens have been transformed beautifully for the ceremony.Glowing lanterns of amber and golden colors are dancing in the summer night wind. Up in the sky, the moon is full—already blessing our union. The pack members are already present to witness everything.As I step into view, every head turns towards me.Some offer smiles. Some murmur. Some only watch me as I start walking down the aisle to meet the only man I have ever loved in my entire life.My Caspian.I pour all my attention on him and him alone. These pack members don’t really know me like Caspian does. I have lived among them for fifteen years, and yet I have always been the forbidden ghost existing in their circles.Barely spoken to. Barely remembered. Only tolerated because of Caspian.But I don’t need their approval. Only Caspian’s.And tonight, I am going to be his Luna. I am going to love him forever because he loves me too and together, we will overcome any challenges that will sta
~ JOCELYN ~Tonight is going to be the most important night of my life.Tonight is the night I become Luna of the Nightfall Pack.Tonight is the night I marry the love of my life, Alpha Caspian King.Tonight is going to be awesome.Staring at my beautiful reflection in the floor-length mirror, I keep reciting those four sentences and holding my breath while adjusting the invisible fringes of my white wedding dress. The dress is a lovely dream that is snug around my curves and purposefully designed with white gemstones in order to sparkle when I walk into the gardens and towards the altar.Long story short, I should feel beautiful. I should feel ready.But all I feel is this strange discomfort pinching inside my chest.“You look beautiful.”Mara, one of the elder seamstresses in the room, whispers to me with a smile. She has been fussing over me and my gown since afternoon, and she also helped me get dressed and did my makeup.I manage to flash her a quick smile, “Thank you, Mara.”Her