~ JOCELYN ~
Outside, the packhouse gardens have been transformed beautifully for the ceremony. Glowing lanterns of amber and golden colors are dancing in the summer night wind. Up in the sky, the moon is full—already blessing our union. The pack members are already present to witness everything. As I step into view, every head turns towards me. Some offer smiles. Some murmur. Some only watch me as I start walking down the aisle to meet the only man I have ever loved in my entire life. My Caspian. I pour all my attention on him and him alone. These pack members don’t really know me like Caspian does. I have lived among them for fifteen years, and yet I have always been the forbidden ghost existing in their circles. Barely spoken to. Barely remembered. Only tolerated because of Caspian. But I don’t need their approval. Only Caspian’s. And tonight, I am going to be his Luna. I am going to love him forever because he loves me too and together, we will overcome any challenges that will stand in our way. I love him. I know I do. Right there at the altar, he looks like a dreamy snack. Tall, muscular, extremely handsome, pink lips with dark blue eyes and curly, dark chocolate hair. The black tailored suit he is wearing fits every inch of him like it was made for a king. The king of my heart. Of my world. I have always joked to myself that our blue eyes will always be a testament that we are made for each other. Mine are glassy. His are darker, adding to the irresistible grace of his beauty. However, it is not the beauty that steals my breath as I walk towards him. It is the way he looks at me. Or… the way he doesn’t. There is no warmth in those eyes that beautifully haunts my dreams. No smile. No hint of the boy who once picked moonflowers to make me laugh. His blue eyes are distant. Pale. I falter mid-step, but I quickly recover myself. However, my stomach twists when my eyes shift my attention to the person I now see standing beside him. Lycena Bale. My heart drops. Lycena has always bullied me and made it clear that I was beneath her. She is the daughter of Gamma Bale. Her bloodline is prestigious. Pure. Mine… is not. Nevertheless, I keep moving. Lycena is standing there beside him, looking like the evil beauty she is made of; Snarky pink mouth. Vicious green eyes. Long raven black hair cascading over one bare shoulder. Her killer body is dressed up in a tight fitted white gown that looks so much like a wedding dress. Wait…. is that really a wedding dress? And her hand is touching Caspian’s arm. Really touching him and even caressing up to his shoulders and hair. The touch is… intimate. A seductive act that only I should be doing to him and no one else. Her lips are curled in a smirk that makes bile rise in my throat. What is she doing there?! I try not to let the heat rise in my cheeks as I reach the altar. The murmurs from the crowd dies off when the Head Elder begins the ceremonial rites, calling upon the Moon Goddess to bless our union, to protect our future, to unite our souls as one. But as the words filter into my ears, all I keep doing is watching Caspian. He hasn’t looked at me once. He only stares straight ahead behind me. I can see the muscles ticking in his neck. He acts like I am not even here, like I am not standing right in front of him. And Lycena hasn’t stepped back. She is still beside him. Why hasn’t anyone told her to fucking move? “Jocelyn Valdez,” the Head Elder’s unusual loud voice draws my attention back. “Standing here in the presence of the one your soul has chosen to be your forever love, do you offer yourself as Luna, heart and soul, to Alpha Caspian King of Nightfall, not just in the sunlit seasons of joy, but also in the shadowed valleys of hardship? Will you choose him, again and again, not because you must, but because even when the world offers a thousand paths, your heart still kneels only for him?” My mouth is suddenly dry. My heart is breaking, and I don’t even understand why. Well, nerves….. “I do.” I respond, hoping that my answer will somehow make Caspian smile. However, he doesn't. He doesn't even show any signs of happiness. None. My heart breaks even further. Is this how my new chapter is going to start? Unhappy and cold and— “And do you, Alpha Caspian King of Nightfall, accept Jocelyn Valdez as your Luna, to stand beside you in happiness and sorrow?” The Head Elder brings me back once more as she speaks to Caspian, continuing, “Will you continue to love her, to cherish her, to be her sunrise and her happiness, her laughter and her peace? Will you walk with her through every lifetime, beginning with this one, and choose her not just today, but always, promising to keep nurturing this love side by side, soul by soul?” Silence. A silence that cuts me to my bones. Caspian is not saying anything, but I wait. I keep waiting. Everyone keeps waiting. The Head Elder glances at him. Her brow furrows. “Alpha Caspian?” Still, my love says nothing. Instead, he turns his head. And finally, finally, he looks at me. Those eyes…. what I see in those lovely dark blue eyes shatters me. Pity. Coldness. Like he is fed up with something…. Or someone. “I can’t do this,” he finally speaks. His voice is so flat and emotionless. “What?” I breathe, unable to clearly hear my own voice. “I said I can't do this, Jocelyn.” Gasps ripple throughout the crowd. Everyone begins to murmur again, louder this time. I feel the judgement of every stare like knives stabbing into my body. But I don't care about them. The whispers. The stares. I don't care. They can hurt me. But Caspian…. He…. He called me Jocelyn. He has never called me Jocelyn. I have always been Josie, Blue, or Fireheart to him. Fireheart because of my red hair and how I never give up on anything or anyone. And now, I am not about to give up on him, even though I am deeply breaking inside me. Even though I am still trying to wrap my head around everything that is happening to me right now. I want to understand. I want to believe that this is a dream. A bad dream. “Caspian,” I call him softly and take a small step forward. I lift my hand to cradle his face, but he flinches away and quickly steps back. Just one step. But it was enough to blur my eyes with tears. Enough to increase the pain and add to the confusion. What is going on? “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. His face hardens. I watch his eyes flick briefly towards the whispering crowd. And then to Lycena. Why… why is he looking at her? When he finally spares me his attention, that cold look of pity are still there in those charming blue eyes as he speaks: “The Moon Goddess may have chosen you for me, but I… I don’t. You're not Luna material. You never were.”~ JOCELYN ~When the meeting ends, we scatter. Declan remains at the office, but I don't miss the way he steals glances at Nadia, watching her leave with Elian to help her brother hand out the gifts he brought. He's trying to look serious, but his eyes give him away.Dammit. He's so obvious.I bite down a laugh, chuckling quietly to myself before leaving the room with Sarah and Rhett.Outside the office, Sarah kisses my cheeks and tells me to come by the house, but I gently decline, already desperate to lock myself inside my dorm room and crash into my soft, fluffy bed.“At least visit the kitchen before you go to your room, and Jocelyn?” She raises her brows. “Don't sulk about the Nightfall Alpha. I'm kinda sure he's the one responsible for your mood swings for over three weeks now.”My mouth falls open, heat rushing to my cheeks, but before I can even say anything, she’s already abandoning me and leaving the institute with Rhett and Annalise. I’m sure she's dying to get home and cat
~ JOCELYN ~ I’ve missed this place so much, but it feels different now. I don’t feel the same after seeing Caspian again at the Nightfall Pack. Closing my eyes, I take a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly. When I open my eyes again, I’m staring at the gates of the Moonclaw Institute. Our car rolls forward, passing through the entrance. I wave at the guards through the window as Sarah squeezes my other hand and Elian clears his throat, pretending not to be emotional but his ears are red. My heart should be racing with excitement. This has been my home for years. My safe place. My home where I found family when I thought I had none. However, I feel torn. Cold. Sad. A part of me is still back there in Nightfall, standing in that office and staring into blue eyes that once felt like the whole world to me. I didn't want to leave him. But I had to. I had to make the right choice at that time. Caspian will be fine without me. Sighing, I push the thought down as our car slows and p
~ CASPIAN ~ I feel like I’m losing her all over again. The summit is over. Officially yet painfully over. The sun has already reached its zenith in the sky, the hot afternoon warming my skin outside the compound of the guesthouse. The compound is filled with cars of the delegates and their entourages getting ready to leave, some loading their trunks with luggage and everything else they came with, while the others are already rolling out through the gates after bidding their farewells, leaving to get back to their respective packs. More farewells are exchanged by those yet to leave. Hugs, firm handshakes, and more hugs and assurances that everything we discussed in the summit is going to be implemented for everyone's safety. Every leader who leaves carries the burden of Thanox’s shadow, but also the burning spark of hope that maybe—just maybe—we stand a winning chance if we all stand together. I try to take comfort in that, but my heart is in deep pain. One by one, the delegates
~ JOCELYN ~ We need to work together, but I don’t know if my heart can continue handling being near Caspian. Four weeks have crawled by since Thanox shattered our world and threatened to come back. Four weeks since the screams, the blood, the funeral. Everything. Four weeks since I looked death in the face and felt fear rip into my bones like a parasite I can’t destroy. And yet… life hasn’t stopped. The Nightfall Pack has been busy repairing and healing from the destruction. More warriors have been sent to the borders for increased vigilance, and other packs have been notified to increase and tighten their security. Children here have been hushed into their school lessons again, though I can tell by their restless eyes every evening as they stroll by the guesthouse that they’ve forgotten how to feel safe. War can do that to people, especially to young minds that need protection from the evil of this world until they're ready to face the monsters themselves. And every day of thes
~ LYCENA ~ “I want to become the most powerful she-wolf the world has ever seen.” The final words leave my lips with every drop of desire burning through my veins. I don’t care that Thanox is looking at me right now like I’m a foolish soul begging for things far beyond my reach. I don’t care that his throne is radiating death itself or that his smile is sharper than knives. I’ve already crossed the line. I’ve already betrayed everyone. Caspian. The Nightfall Pack. My so-called people. All of them. And I don’t fucking regret any shred of it. Thanox leans forward on his throne, resting his black pointy fingernails on his chin as if he’s studying me like an insect he might squash or keep as a pet. His eyes are still red and glowing with a hunger that sinks under my skin, crawling all over my spine like poisonous spiders. He is intimidating, but I force myself not to look away from his piercing gaze. “Ambition,” he finally breaks the silence with his teasing voice. “I like that. A
~ LYCENA ~ He's fucking right. I'm done being nothing and always looking over my shoulders. I’m done being anxious and pretending to be powerful. I need true power. And Nyx here is going to help me get it. “Nyx…” I pause, my heart thundering as I swallow hard before I continue. “The first time we met, you promised me connections that will make me more powerful and even start a pack of my own. Something about you is definitely strange, but I believed you. I'm tired of waiting around and begging for scraps. Now is the time for you to fulfill that promise to me.” A long pause follows. “Lycena,” Nyx's smile is audible in his voice, even behind the mask. “Are you sure that is what you want now?” “Yes,” my answer bursts out of me. “If Caspian wants Jocelyn, then let him drown in her blood. Let him choke on her ashes. I want her gone. I want her dead. I want true power more than enough to make her regret ever breathing in this world.” Another long pause settles between us as Nyx stud