Pick and Choose

Ruelle’s POV

I stared shaken into those deep green eyes as my mind replayed all the mistakes I made in the last two hours that led to me being in this position.

I wasn’t exactly shocked to see the Alpha here in the Keep because he had already made it known he had come to meet with my father. But I had no idea he would still be with my father when I returned. I could see the slight shock in his eyes the moment they met mine as I greeted Pa, and I knew he had recognized me immediately although he didn’t mention it.

I couldn’t explain it, but I had this urge. It was really strong and it suddenly attacked me on my way back from the woods. I wanted to know more about the Alpha. I couldn’t stop thinking about him as I returned, and it only got worse as we met for a second time with Pa. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I wanted to know what his eyes held, what he thought, where he went.

I wanted to know everything. Including why he was here. He had already mentioned that his visit had to do with a bond to evacuate rogue wolves, but I wondered if there was more to it.

And as I stood by the window of the meeting hall, watching Him as he retreated with Pa and the guards to the border, I couldn’t help but wonder why I was so curious about this man. What was so special about him? Well, excluding the fact that he was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. But I see beautiful men all the time. So much so that I am barely ever curious about them.

My sisters had just returned from the border, all swooning and gushing over the might of the Alpha and the size of his wolf. I already knew he would be a large wolf considering his size in human form, but it seems he is bigger than I had imagined.

I didn’t go to the border like the rest of my family, I had been with Morra. She used the time to fix up my hair and made me look more presentable as I had been in the woods all day. Then Mama had sent for me and I had to leave. It was on my way back from Mama’s chambers that I caught sight of a black cloak swaying in the hallway, rested upon broad shoulders that moved with a gait so smooth it was only peculiar to one single person.

I suddenly felt the urgency to know where Mr black cloak was heading to and before I knew it, I was following silently behind him with no apparent reason. I should’ve at least thought out a good enough reason for following him for when I got caught, but I was barely in charge of my own actions let alone being able to think them through.

All I knew was that as soon as I saw him, I was following him.

Thinking back, I really should have thought out a good enough excuse because with the slight tilt in his head coupled with the inquisitive look in his eyes and the smirk on his lips, I may have to explain myself soon.

“My lady”. He says, his voice low and uncertain. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he looked a little shy. But it’s me. There is no reason for a man this beautiful to be shy of me. “My apologies, I didn’t know it was you.”

He had released my arm immediately he saw that it was me, but the warmth of his palm lingered on my arm with a tingly feeling.

“I- uh…”. I stared around me, trying to find the words to explain myself. “Pa asked me to make sure you went to bed alright.” I stuck my chin in the air as the words stumbled out of my lips. I wouldn’t call that a save because there were guards all over the Keep and there was no need to for me to follow him. But if he sensed my lie, he did not show it, which I am very sure he did.

He made a point of looking around the empty hallway, perhaps looking for the danger we both knew wasn’t there, before turning to me with a curt nod. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness”. He says

I give a nod in return as silence falls over us, his stare heavy and eyes full of mysteries that may be too dangerous to unfold. After a short moment he takes a step back, his palm moving up to splay against his chest. “I’ll be going to bed now. I hope to see you tomorrow”

With disappointment stinging in my chest at the fact that he was leaving so soon, I gave a slow bow. “Like wise.”

I raised my head when I heard his voice again.

“I’m not exactly from a polished clan. I wonder why you bow to me.” He had a small smile on his face, staring at me like a puzzle he couldn’t figure out.

“You’re Alpha.” I told him. “Polished or not”. That and the fact that Ma taught us to always bow when introduced to Pa’s allies. He only chuckled in response to my words, his fingers coming up to flick his nose.

“Earlier your Pa called you his little moon. I wonder if I am also allowed to refer to you as the little moon.” He joked lightly, a playful glint in his eyes

“I wouldn’t complain, Your grace.” I shook my head, causing him to breathe out a light laugh.

“Or you could simply do me the honors of telling your name.” He suggested.

I could already feel the heat rising to my cheeks at his comment. He wanted to know my name. Not only that, he thinks it would be an honor to do so. I’m a little ashamed to admit the feeling of butterflies in my stomach at the fact. If I were close to a bed I would lay down and kick my feet in the air. That was the only way to express what I feel in this very moment.

“Ruelle.” I told him, my eyes leaving his momentarily as I thought of what to do with my hands, before settling with folding them above my stomach. “Ma named me”.

“I can tell”. He mused, his comment hanging heavily in the air, as though carrying many other thoughts.

The air always feels heavy with him. I think that is what makes me so curious about him. The fact that he always looks like he has more to say but chooses to say less. It makes me want to know what else he is thinking. It drives me mad.

I wanted to ask him more questions. How he knows my Pa, where they met because I haven’t seen or heard of him in the North before, and what they spoke about. In truth, I don’t really care about all those things, I just want to hear him speak for longer. I have a feeling I might not see him again after tonight.

But there was no way I could ask those questions without seeming odd.

The silence had since fallen over us again, but neither of us moved from where we stood. His gaze, silent and heated, held mine, calm and questioning. I had earlier accommodated a silver of hope that part of the reason he visited the North was to get a bride. But at the same time I couldn’t be too hopeful because even if he did come to get a bride. I had three sisters ahead of me who were conventionally better than me at basically everything.

The mere thought saddened me.

Throughout my life I have had to wait for the least best out of all options because my sisters had to decide first. The same will be applied to this one for sure.

I blinked the thought out of my head, this time being the first to step back. “Have a goodnight, Your Grace.” I offered quietly, not waiting for a response before turning the corner and heading to the main chambers.

To say that the realization that I scarcely got what I wanted where my sisters were involved snapped me back to reality would be the understatement of the century. It was like I was living in my own little fantasy for a short period of time. Not anymore though, I am back to my senses now.

The only way I would have a chance with the Alpha would be either of two options, my sisters were not interested in him so he falls on my lap, or the Alpha were blind that he picked me over them. Neither of which were going to happen so I might as well save myself the embarrassment and pain that comes with wanting something I couldn't have.

I walked quickly down the hallway and like clockwork, as though the universe was playing its part in reminding me of where I stood, I could hear the loud giggles of my man-obsessed sisters in the living room and as I stepped in, I didn’t even have to ask to know that the topic of their discussion was the beautiful man I had just shared a moment with.

“I specifically wore this dress to pop my skin and I think he noticed it”. Thessa sprung up, looking down at her very noticeable and barely breathing breasts. She made a point of wearing the most exquisite ball gown, with her breasts trying to spill out of the chest cut. It was simply outrageous to me but she didn’t care. She barely cared about anyone or anything really. She lived her life on the fast lane.

Valka wore an unreadable expression on her face as she played with her hair, wearing a simple flowery dress with an open back and a large bow beneath it. It was pretty just like the person wearing it. Seren, who didn’t care for the lazy banter, was resting on one of the couches in a black gown lined with golden embroidery on the neck and hands. She looked like she would rather be anywhere else listening in to people’s conversations and footsteps.

I felt slightly relieved that she at least didn’t seem interested in talking about the Alpha. A little voice in my head whispered, ‘One down, two more to go’ which wasn’t encouraging because I knew deep down those two more were the competition all along. Seren never really cared for things like these from the start.

“Ruelle, did you see the Iron Alpha”. Thessa perks up when she sees me, an expectant look on her face. “You weren’t home when Pa introduced us.”

“I caught him before you guys left for the Border. Pa introduced us”. I mumbled, not waiting for her response and making my way to the stairs.

“Oh..”. I couldn’t miss the disappointment laced in her voice. She deflated slightly and it made me wonder why. We both knew if she wanted the Alpha and Vice versa, she could have him. They didn’t have to worry about me in any way. I have been trained to wait my turn.

I marched up the stairs, my heart pulling in my chest with a feeling I couldn’t describe. I felt like I wanted to explode. I was snapped back into reality so hard I fell on my face and I had to admit it hurt inside out.

I was experiencing a breakup before the journey had even begun. This was my life. The invisible sister. The one who maintained her own so she doesn’t cause trouble while the others did as they wished. It was torture, but I couldn’t complain. How could I?

It was certain. I would survive this one just like I survived the others.