I WAS WRONG

Elaris's POV

I'm still sitting by the fire with my hands on the child inside my abdomen as Averic finishes speaking. I don't get up to offer him a seat, water - or even a polite pretense that his presence is welcome.

He confessed that he was wrong about the medicine, the threats, the evidence, and me. He finally put together the puzzle that I've been trying to show him for weeks.

It doesn't change the nights I spent being watched,

doesn't change Maevra's death

or the fact that when I needed him to believe me, he chose the proof over me.

I let the silence stretch, surprised that Averic doesn't try to fill it.

He stands near the doorway with his hands at his sides, no indication that he expects me to reassure him that it's all right, that I forgive him for doing the one thing I asked him not to do.

Neryss stays near the wall with her knife still in her hand, though she lowers it a fraction.

Neither of us moves toward him

For once, Averic seems to realize he can't command this room like he does the palace.

He waits.

I understand now that he came prepared to hear something that may not be what he wanted to say

When I finally speak, my voice is quieter than I expect it to be.

"I heard you."

Averic watches me, but I don't stop to let him think those words are an apology.

"I heard everything you said about the cups, the notes, the attendant, Maevra."

I pause, making sure he realizes the difference between what I'm saying and what he thinks I'm saying.

"I accept that you know the truth now."

His shoulders tense slightly

"But I am not thanking you for knowing it."

It's not meant to be cruel, just the truth

That knowing the truth after I was cast out doesn't mean as much as believing me when I first told him.

"When I stood in front of you and told you I hadn't poisoned her, you had a choice

I say this and curl my fingers lightly over the fabric covering my stomach

You could have believed the woman who had taken care of your mother for years, or you could have believed the story that made it easiest for the Council."

I lock my gaze with his.

"You chose the second."

I remind him that the proof wasn't always there - the medicine, the threats, the missing attendant, the clasps, the suppressed medical records, the evidence had been there all along. He just needed certainty before he could accept it, and that certainty came too late.

I tell him I won't return to the palace simply because the truth has been amended.

"I was cast out once before because of a child."

Caedmon's words echo in my head unbidden

"I lost that child trying to save the man who needed my essence. When I survived, he called me a killer."

My throat tightens, but I force the memory away.

"I came here thinking your house was different. And when your mother died, you gave me the same judgment I had survived."

I don't accuse him of being like Caedmon. I don't have to.

"I will not walk back into another house simply because the man who sent me away has decided I was telling the truth."

I look directly at him.

"You may leave."

Averic stays where he is

"The notes said you would come. You came"

I glance toward the door.

"That is enough for tonight."

There is no anger, no plea in my voice, nothing that would make him feel like he deserves something less than what he gets.

For the first time since walking into this room, Averic realizes that there's nothing he can say to change what's about to happen.

He hesitates for several seconds before responding, his voice stripped of the commanding tone that made entire rooms bend to his will.

"Do you have enough?"

I frown slightly, then realize what he means

"For the next few days?" he clarifies. "Food. Medicine. Someone to watch the house. Anything the child needs."

He doesn't ask me to forgive him, to return, or promise that a single apology will undo what he did

It's good that he didn't, even if I'm still not ready to reward him for it.

He waits for my answer

"We have enough."

Averic's gaze flicks over to the small table where Neryss had set out supplies earlier.

"We'll manage."

Averic seems to want to say something else but stops himself.

I appreciate that.

I don't ask him for palace supplies, for healers or to send anyone to watch the house. If I accept everything from him tonight, it will be too easy for both of us to pretend that he's already made it up to me. I need to know that I can stand on my own before I decide if I want to stand with him.

Averic nods

"The house is still inside pack territory."

He says no more but I understand what he means. Not that I will be protected, or that he will come home, only that I have a boundary around the place I've been cast out to.

"Virelle is under guard," he goes on. "The medical records are being reviewed. The Council will get the full statement."

He stops there, and I realize he has more to say but won't. Even better.

Averic turns toward the door

For a moment I think he'll simply leave, but he stops at the threshold.

He doesn't turn back

"I will not ask again tonight."

His hand hovered over the doorframe for a second before he pulled it shut behind him.

But he won't disappear.

My gaze sharpens

"The child is mine."

His voice is steady as he says it.

"That much I will not surrender a second time."

Something tightens in my abdomen - the child

For one horrible moment I remember what those words could have meant before everything went wrong.

Averic opens the door

This time, I don't ask him to stay.

The door closes behind him.

I stay right where I was, not crying, not chasing him away.

Neryss makes no comment as the horses' hooves echo over the rocky ground, gradually fading into the distance.

I keep my hands over my stomach, my breath even.

When the last sound has disappeared into the night, I finally realize something has changed.

He came here expecting nothing but the opportunity to tell me the truth.

And I've given him something just as important - an answer

Neryss finally speaks

"He'll come back."

I keep my gaze fixed on the fire.

"I know."

She waits, and I slowly draw one hand over my stomach as the child moves inside me

"That is not the same as letting him stay."

Neryss doesn't argue.

Out in the night, the air seems to hold its breath.

But the exile has ended. Averic has come to the only conclusion he could and I've made it clear that I won't return the favor. He can come back, if he wants, if he cares, if he can prove that what he says is the truth. But I won't go back simply because he's sorry.