I looked around the room, once again. The walls were painted in white and light green, the same as our uniforms. Our bedsheets were a pastel yellow with light pink pillows. It truly felt like a child's bedroom.
The stuffed animal I was holding felt soft against my hands. It was a blue elephant. I wondered why we all got stuffed animals if we were, as for now, still teenagers. Wouldn't it be more suitable to give these once we were babies?
As I watched the soft animal rotating in my hands a strong feeling of sadness overwhelmed me. I missed my home, I missed my bedroom, my books, my own clothes. I even missed the presence of my parents. Maybe they weren't the greatest in showing their love for me, they were still my parents and I held a deep respect for them.
But the thing I missed the most was my brother Alexander. How would he react if he heard I was sent away? Or did he already know I would be gone if he came back?
Tears rolled down my cheeks. The thought of never seeing him made me cry. I held the soft elephant close to my chest while bringing my knees up. I laid my head down on my arms and cried softly. Morning for the loss of my old life.
My crying was cut off short by the sound of people entering the dorm room. The first thing I heard was footsteps following with a slightly annoyed voice, "Yes, yes we know! Change into the uniforms and fold our old clothes, we got it!" I looked over my shoulder and I saw two girls standing in the doorway. The black-haired girl spoke up again, "Gosh, they are so annoying, telling us what to do!" Her face had a deep frown and everything about her demeanor spoke of anger. The other girl responded with, "I think they are only trying to look after us, you know, to be a good guardian and all." She shrugged her shoulders while speaking.
Then the black-haired girl poked her elbow into the blond-haired girl, "Looks like we are not the first to arrive in our room." When they had acknowledged my presence I quickly wiped the tears off my face and put my legs down to sit up straight. "Talking about a depressing atmosphere. Jeez, I thought we would leave that behind us when entering this building."
I didn't know how to act, at school I was often picked on because I always tried so hard to be the best in class but would always end up being one of the dumbest ones in the classroom. I would try and ask questions to understand better what we were learning. Only I would always ask something that was just explained, without me knowing so.
So hearing such a comment made me crawl back into my scalp. I looked down and didn't want to pay any mind to them. Unfortunately, for me, they didn't let me. "Don't mind her, she is just adjusting to all of this in a different way than we are," the blond-haired girl tried to assure me.
"Hey!" the black-haired girl shouted. "What? It's true. You express a difficult situation with anger, she with sadness," the blond-haired girl shrugged.
"Well anger is better than pitying yourself," the black-haired girl stated as a matter-of-fact.
The other girl sighed while sitting on her bed, which was next to mine. "Lexi please, we are all in this together let's just try and get along with each other oke?" Now the girl turned to me and introduced herself, "I'm sorry for that, I'm Nancy, and as you already heard that hot-headed head is Lexi. What's your name?" She asked me sweetly. "A-Alice."
"Well Alice, it's nice to meet you," Nancy said with a smile on her face. "Likewise," I whispered. I heard a scoff coming from Lexi but she remained silent. As they were changing the words of Nancy repeated in my head, 'let's try and get along. With that mindset, I tried to make conversation with the two girls. "Do you know each other? Like are you friends?" I asked hesitantly.
"Unfortunately yes," Nancy answered.
"Hey! Well nice to know you too, bitch!" Lexi said half hurt and half-joking.
I was confused about how you could treat each other like that if you were friends. It looked like Nancy caught up to my confusion and said, "We have a love-hate friendship."
I just nodded my head and remained quiet. When the girls were done with changing into their uniforms, Lexi let herself fall onto the bed and asked me, "Why are you here, elephant girl?" The moment she mentioned the elephant I put the stuffed animal aside. Letting go of the comfort it gave me, moments ago. When I didn't answer immediately she asked, "Are you a mute or something?"
I coward a bit. It was something my father would ask me if I couldn't answer his questions. It would only silence me more, too afraid to say something wrong.
"Lexi please, leave the poor girl alone," Nancy said quite stern.
"What? I'm only trying to make conversation, you know getting along and all that shit you were just babbling about."
"Well yes, but I don't think Alice understands your way of expressing things, so play nice."
"Yes mom," Lexi whined.
"Well?" Lexi pressed, "Why are you here?"
I shook my head and whispered, "I don't want to talk about it."
15 years laterAlice p.o.vI was sitting on the pavement waiting for... I didn't know what for, I was just waiting. Hoping to see a glimpse of them. The weather was nice. I had put some music in my ears to ease my impatience.The reason why I was here was because of what my dads told me.It all started with a couple of innocent dreams. I saw myself but with different parents and a brother. I was often yelled at for doing nothing. I didn't understand the dreams as I couldn't decipher them.I thought they were just dreams or rather bad dreams.But the dreams felt so real and I knew it didn't happen to me. I had two dads, no siblings, and was raised with love. I absolutely loved my fathers. They would move mountains for me if I asked them.They made sure I had everything I needed and in return, I was always on my best behavior and got good grades, with help of course. Turned out I had dyslexi
James p.o.vI was now two days home, back from the hotel where I was staying. I felt like such an idiot. I had left with the thought I would punish Hadeon. So he could see how dependent a baby is on its parent. But after my rage was gone, after two days I was so afraid.Afraid of losing him and afraid of losing Alice. They were the only family I had.I thought Hadeon would never take me back. And to top it all I had smashed my phone against the wall the first night of my stay at the hotel. Therefore I couldn't call him. I was such an idiot.I felt so lost without him. Just when I had made up my mind to go home the next day Jim had called. I know it sounds very shady, but really I couldn't take it anymore being away from my husband and daughter. I needed them. They were my oxygen.So I was really glad I was home right now. I sat with Alice in my lap looking at cartoons. It felt great to have her in my arms again. I
Hadeon p.o.vI bounced my leg up and down as I was watching my phone. Should I call? No, I shouldn't. But should I? Doubt clouded my mind. Could I take care of Alice on my own?I had called James already multiple times but he still didn't answer, so it was up to me to decide. I was quite desperate as Alice didn't get the attention she needed and it was still crazy busy at work.In a couple of days, I had another court date. The last time was a one-time thing. I couldn't bring her every time with me to court. I made up my mind and called Jim."Mr. Carter speaking.""Jim it's me, Hadeon.""Hadeon? Why are you calling?""I-I screwed up Jim...""What do you mean?""I-I made a mistake that caused James to leave me and now I'm alone with Alice. I-I don't know... I don't know what to do.""I'm afraid, Hadeon, I can't follow you. What do you mean with 'don't know
Hadeon p.o.vWell, there I was, all alone with my baby girl, watching how my husband, the love of my life, drove away from us. I had screwed up big time. I felt so bad for what I did to Alice, I didn't mean for it to happen. It was so stupid of me to forget her like that. I'm a complete idiot.I walked up to my daughter and picked her up. "I'm sorry Alice. I was a bad papa to you." She looked at me and said, "daddy." Well, now I'm totally screwed. "I'm sorry princess, but daddy had to go away for a while." I apologized to her. "Let's make dinner shall we."That night I had spent it with Alice, letting her stay up a bit too late, I didn't want to be all alone. Only when it was eight in the evening she was deep asleep and she needed to go to bed. So there I was at eight-thirty in the evening, alone with my beer. I felt so, so stupid. I already missed James, I needed him. I would never, ever make a mistake like this again.I tried to call hi
Hadeon p.o.vToday I had to stay at home from work as James suddenly had to go to the company. He said something was wrong and they needed his help. I didn't quite understand as he wasn't the CEO nor the largest shareholder, but I couldn't stop him. So it was just me and Alice today.I couldn't pay her too much attention as I had a lot of work to do as well. I could only give her the necessary attention and care as I was busy working on a case. I was glad when I could put her down for a nap so I could work without any interruptions in my office.I saw that it was almost time to wake up from her nap when one of my employees called me. She didn't bring me good news. The judge had nullified our key evidence to the case. They told us it would only help speculation which wasn't good enough.We needed to have 'hard' evidence according to my employee. I was busy with making calls, looking through files, and going through everything I had s
Hadeon p.o.vIt was weird to be back again, back to my childhood home. The last time I was here was when I told my parents James was my boyfriend. They were outraged. Especially my father.He never wanted to see me again. Telling me I wasn't his son anymore, that he would disown me and that I was never welcome again in his house.My mother, on the other hand, was already thinking of ways to 'fix' my problem. Saying the church could help me, even though they weren't big on religion. Or that I should change my scenery by engaging myself more with straight couples.I already knew before I was going to tell them they wouldn't accept my sexuality. Only I did not expect it to be so incredibly harsh.After I told them I didn't speak to them for several months. It was James actually that encouraged me to seek contact for our wedding. James and I never had such a big fight from