MasukHAYESI held still for as long as my body would let me. I didn’t trust myself not to do anything stupid, because somehow, I tend to think with my cock rather than my brain when she’s around.She had not moved away. That was the thing I could not stop registering, over and over, the absence of resistance where I had braced myself to find it. Her hand stayed where it had drifted at my waist. Her breath stayed slow against my throat. And somewhere in the dark, fevered space between sleep and waking, I stopped being able to tell the difference between holding still out of restraint and holding still because some part of her had chosen to stay exactly where she was.I said her name, low, barely more than a breath. “Jade.”She stirred. Her eyes opened slowly, finding mine in the dim light of the den, and for one long moment neither of us moved, the two of us caught in something that had been three years in the making and had no clean way to stop itself now that it had started.I waited for
Jade I walked back and looked down at him for a long moment before I let myself move.He was heavier than I expected, in the way unconscious people always are, all of his weight gone slack and uncooperative. I got my arms under his shoulders and dragged him toward the den off the main hallway, the muscles in my arms screaming about it the entire way, and I did not let myself stop until I had him stretched out on the long leather sofa against the wall.His bedroom was upstairs. I remembered that from the last time I had been here, waking up under crown molding with a drip in my hand. There was no way I was getting him up a flight of stairs by myself, and Margaret had vanished somewhere deeper into the kitchen, still humming, completely unaware that the man she worked for was currently passed out twenty feet away from her.I went back for the bone broth container and set it on the side table where I had left it. Then I noticed the open door to a room down the hall, light spilling out,
JadeI went to my mother’s for dinner on Thursday because skipping it would have required an explanation I did not have the energy to construct.She had made the roast chicken she always made, the one with the rosemary she grew on her windowsill, and she set a plate in front of me before I had fully taken my coat off and asked about the Calloway due diligence and the spring collection and whether I was eating enough, in that order, the way she always moved through her list of concerns.I answered everything. I ate. The evening was moving toward its normal, comfortable conclusion when she set down her fork and looked at me with the expression that meant she had been building toward something the whole meal.“I made a batch of bone broth,” she said. “The good kind, with the marrow. I want you to take some to Hayes.”I set my own fork down. “Mom.”“His mother mentioned to me at the spring luncheon that he’s been working himself into the ground. Sleeping four hours a night, skipping meals
HAYESI did not let myself go all the way back to that night very often.I had rules about it. Boundaries I had built carefully over three years and maintained with the same discipline I applied to everything else that mattered. The night existed, but I did not visit it. I kept it behind a door I did not open because I knew what was on the other side of it and I knew what it cost me every time.Tonight the door was already open.I stood at the window with the city below me, and I let myself remember.It was a charity dinner. One of those evenings where half of Manhattan’s money gathered in a room and called it “generosity.” I had been there because my father expected it. She had been there because someone had brought her, a friend of a friend, the way you end up at those things at twenty-one when your world is still being built.I had seen her across the room before she saw me. That was always how it went with her. I always saw her first.She had been holding a glass of champagne that
JadeI turned off the light at ten and stared at the ceiling in the dark.The soup container from Talia’s mystery order was still on the coffee table. I had not moved it. I was not ready to move it because moving it required deciding what I thought about it, and deciding what I thought about it required engaging with what Talia had said, and what she had said had rearranged something in me that I had been very careful to keep arranged for three years.Lena was never his girlfriend.Hayes had texted Talia to check on me.Hayes had ordered food from somewhere specific for someone with gastroenteritis.He had stood in that bedroom with his hand flat on the marble and his voice stripped of its evenness and told me the Lena situation was not what I thought it was.I lay in the dark and I told myself none of it meant anything, and I almost believed it, and then I turned over and went to sleep.HAYES’s POVMargaret knocked for the fifth time at nine in the evening.I was standing at the wind
JadeHe moved before I registered that he was moving.One moment he was standing by the bedside table with his hand flat on the marble surface and the cracked glass beside it, and the next he was in front of me, and his hand was around my wrist, and the distance between us was nothing.Not violent. The grip said, “Stay in the way,” which left no room for interpretation.I went still.His jaw was working. His eyes had something in them that I had never seen there and could not categorize and did not trust myself to look at for too long. He was breathing differently from how he always breathed, harder than his usual, and his fingers around my wrist were not steady.“Hayes,” I kept my voice level.He said nothing. He looked at me the way a person looks when they have words that will not come, when whatever they need to say is stuck somewhere between knowing it and being able to let it out, and the effort of that is visible in every line of their face.I waited.“Don’t,” he said finally.







