LOGINDana POVI think I cried everything out a long time before today. Some unknown, quiet part of me has been bracing for my father's death, holding itself ready, and so when it finally happens there's no flood of tears. All I feel is a hollow, ringing stillness in my soul where grief should be.I'm sitting on a bench at the far end of the corridor, away from the waiting area where my brothers cluster together. Mom had to be sedated. They gave her something and steered her into a bed two hours ago, and I watched her go without following.Derek cried a little, his face crumpling in a sudden, boyish way that reminded me he's still my little brother underneath everything else.I had crumpled to the floor. One moment I was standing, and the next the linoleum was cold under my knees and someone's hands were at my elbows, and then I was up again and walking, and I kept walking until I found this bench, and I've been here since.Jack brought water at some point. I took the bottle and thanked hi
Dana POV: What's The Competition Doing Wrong?"No one is staying back," I snap. "We all go back to New York."Derek shifts his weight, opens his mouth. I know what's coming before he even gets there."The company—""To hell with the company," I snap again, a stiff index finger pointing at his face. “We all leave!” Dad is lying in a hospital bed in New York and we're standing here in this apartment talking about quarterly projections and who's going to hold things together while we're gone, and I can't do it. I cannot stand here and have this conversation."I'll stand in for Derek," Cilian says. He's been quiet up until now, hovering near the window with his hands in his pockets. He says it carefully, like he's offering something fragile.I look at him. "What do you know about running a company? You can't even run your own SpanC properly."The color rises in his face immediately. He clears his throat, clearly flustered and embarrassed. Eddie says, "Come on, Dana. That's harsh.""I k
Alex POV: Can't Ask Dana, Because It's Offensive?My family doesn't believe me. I can see it in the way they're sitting and staring at me. Fanny is tucked into the corner of the couch with her arms crossed, Mom is perched at the edge of the armchair like she's ready to intervene at any moment, and Dad in the middle of all of it, looking at me like I've just told him the earth is flat."What is this world coming to?" Dad says. He looks at Fanny first, then swings his gaze to Mom. "You can't ask Dana if she's pregnant for you because it's offensive?"Ray Logan has never been a complicated man. He sees a problem, he solves it. He raised me the same way, and most of the time I'm grateful for it. But right now, sitting in my parents' living room with this uncomfortable subject pressing down on my chest, I wish he could step outside of my skin for just five minutes."That's how it is these days, Dad," Fanny says. "I mean, think about it — if my husband asked me who I was pregnant for, I'd l
Alex POV: Dana Is The Ideal Wife Once Jodie leaves, I grab Fanny's wrist and pull her into the foyer, away from the earshot of our parents in the living room. "I thought you liked Jodie," I say. "What was that in there?""I'm helping you.""I don't need your help. Stay out of my business.""She loves you, Alex."I turn away from her and walk towards the end of the foyer. "I know."She follows me. "Then why are you cruel to her?"I turn back around. "Cruel? I'm not cruel to her. I've been nothing but good to her. And yet she treats me like I'm something she can pick up and put down when it's convenient. Like an option."Fanny stares at me, confusion her face. "What?" I say."Who are you talking about?" she asks. "Who are you talking about?""Jodie."We stare at each other for a moment, sharing the confusion in equal measure."I thought we were talking about Dana," I say.Fanny closes her eyes and slaps her forehead. "Alex. I was talking about Jodie."I hadn't even been thinking abo
Dana POV: The Conversation Backfires I recorded my conversation with Stanton. Now as the taxi moves through traffic, I sit with my recorder in my palm, listening to myself lie in real time.My own voice sounds very hurt, raw and tremulous, against Stanton's pragmatic cool one: “Let Alex go,” he says. A single tear slides down my face. I stop the player and close my eyes and let the city noise fill the space where the words just were."Ma'am?" I open my eyes to see the cab guy looking at me in the rearview mirror. "You alright?" he asks. "I'm okay."He nods and looks back at the road. He's not a talkative one. Good. I'm not sure I want a psychoanalyzing can driver asking me questions why I'm crying in his backseat. Back at my desk, I open my laptop and start to type. “Dear Alex . . .”—no, too personal. “To Whom It May Concern . . .” —no, that's absurd. I delete and start again. I need something clean and final and professional, the way you are supposed to end things.That's w
Dana POV: The Conversation Backfires I recorded my conversation with Stanton. Now as the taxi moves through traffic, I sit with my recorder in my palm, listening to myself lie in real time.My own voice sounds very hurt, raw and tremulous, against Stanton's pragmatic cool one: “Let Alex go,” he says. A single tear slides down my face. I stop the player and close my eyes and let the city noise fill the space where the words just were."Ma'am?" I open my eyes to see the cab guy looking at me in the rearview mirror. "You alright?" he asks. "I'm okay."He nods and looks back at the road. He's not a talkative one. Good. I'm not sure I want a psychoanalyzing can driver asking me questions why I'm crying in his backseat. Back at my desk, I open my laptop and start to type. “Dear Alex . . .”—no, too personal. “To Whom It May Concern . . .” —no, that's absurd. I delete and start again. I need something clean and final and professional, the way you are supposed to end things.That's w
Dana POV: Derek Is CEO of Wood & WardMorning light slices through the hotel curtains in clear, accusing lines. I sit on the edge of the bed in my suite, Jack and Eddie are sitting on the sofa, waiting for me to speak.Hotel coffee steams between us.“I’ve decided,” I say. “And it has nothing to do
Dana POV: Dana Gets Drunk And CriesThe brush feels alive in my hand again, the bristles dragging color across the canvas like they’ve been waiting for me. I don’t think as I brush, I just paint.It’s the painting of a man sprinting down a crowded street, completely naked except for an absurd hat p
Dana POV: Hello, First Love.I'm sitting on the front steps of the hospital, phone clutched between my thighs, squinting up at the clear blue sky hanging over Washington. The sun beats down, turning the concrete warm under me. I'm generally feeling good, but still numbed by the news that I'm carr
Dana POV: Dana Is Pregnant.The elevator doors close with a quiet hiss, sealing me inside the mirrored box that smells faintly of someone else’s perfume. My reflection stares back with bleary eyes, and cheeks crimson with fever. Tears gather at the corners of my eyes. My eyes are prickly with tear







