Chapter 5

Kyra

I woke up in the middle of the night with my phone vibrating beside me. I answered urgently, thinking it was something important, but it was just the bank reminding me that I have debts.

The bedroom window was slightly open, and the cold wind was freezing me. I knew I wasn’t in my home—if I ever had one—but still, I had the audacity to go downstairs to the kitchen.

— You should be sleeping. Tomorrow will be a long day. Julie has plenty of tasks throughout the day. — Blackthorne was standing with his back to me, shirtless, holding a glass of whiskey.

— Sorry, I just came down to get some water, but I’ll go back upstairs. — I admit it wasn’t thirst I felt, it was anxiety and loneliness.

I made a move to go back upstairs, but I was stopped before I even stepped on the second stair.

— What brought you here, Kyra? — It wasn’t a question about how I ended up in the kitchen, but how I managed to turn my life into the mess it is now.

— I… I needed to survive, like every human being. And you know, those who aren’t born rich have to figure things out. — It wasn’t a lie, but that’s not why I’m in this situation.

Before living this miserable life, I had a good job at a good company. I had a house, friends, and I thought I had a good boyfriend by my side, but all I had were people who knew everything Marcelo did to me. Videos and intimate photos leaked in groups, recorded without me knowing… and all that was left for me was shame, humiliation, and abandonment by my own mother.

His life was completely the opposite of mine. And you know, I have to think before speaking to him, because I’m afraid of losing myself in my words and ending up saying something I shouldn’t.

— Things weren’t always easy for me either, Kyra. You know nothing about me. You are just my daughter’s nanny, and don’t even think you can be more than that. — I also prefer to blame the alcohol.

— Indeed, Mr. Blackthorne. I know nothing about you, I am just your daughter’s nanny and I will never get involved in your life, sir. I apologize if I came at a bad time. I’m already going back to my room.

— You don’t have anything here, Kyra. The room is not yours, it’s only temporary.

— Sorry, I thought it was allowed for me to sleep here until—

— Until what? In your description I didn’t read that you needed a place to live. After all, what are you, Kyra? What do you think I am? Do you think you can replace Ana?

I didn’t answer, I just went upstairs, changed my clothes, grabbed my backpack, and went down again. I was tired of being treated like trash, but I still have the freedom to leave. He was still in the kitchen when I passed by him.

— It’s almost 2 a.m., where are you going?

— See you later, Mr. Blackthorne. I’ll be here at 6 a.m. sharp, don’t worry. — I left quickly before he could say anything else.

Now, I am definitely alone, walking through the streets, not knowing what to do and with no home to return to. As soon as I started working, I was evicted from the apartment I was living in due to overdue rent. I wanted to quit this job, but it’s the only thing I have right now, the only source of income I can have.

Liam

I didn’t see her return, but I saw her arrive exactly on time. Not a minute late. No explanation and no words beyond the “necessary.” She was sitting at the table with Julie, watching her eat breakfast while brushing her hair, as she brought a spoonful of cereal to her mouth and laughed. I just watched from afar, without being seen.

— I like it when you brush my hair, Kyra. You have a gentle touch. — My daughter was radiant, like I hadn’t seen her in days.

— I love brushing your hair too, little one. It looks like fairy hair. — Gently, Kyra stroked her face, as if she already knew every detail of it.

Then I appeared. It was my day off, as I had mentioned before hiring Kyra. When they saw me, both of them went serious instantly.

— Good morning, Mr. Blackthorne. — Kyra stood up. Julie just kept eating as if I were a burden there.

— Good morning, Kyra. Good morning, Julie. I was thinking of taking you both out for a walk, what do you think?

— A walk in the park, daddy? With cupcakes and apple juice? — Kyra didn’t respond and didn’t look me in the eyes.

— Of course. Today you choose everything. — I kissed her forehead and waited for some reaction from Kyra, but instead of agreeing with me, she did the opposite.

— May I speak with you, Mr. Blackthorne? — Her voice sounded gentle, but I knew it was because Julie was there.

We walked through the hallways until we reached the office, and then I realized how silent that house was and how much I regretted what I said last night. I was out of myself, I didn’t think before speaking and the worst part: she was acting as if everything was fine.

After we entered, I closed the door and motioned for her to sit, but she held back and got straight to the point.

— I want to apologize for yesterday. I was tired, but I’ve always known my place. And I want to ask you not to make me go to the park. You made it clear in the contract: when she is with you, the employee’s presence will not be necessary. And… I want to ask if you could advance my salary. I know it’s only been a few days, but I swear I won’t disappear, sir.

Her eyes were lost, as if searching for the right words to explain herself.

— I want to apologize for yesterday, Kyra. I don’t usually act like that. I… was… lost and tired. And I ask you to break some rules, Julie really likes you.

— I like your daughter too, but I was also warned about rules. — She was defiant, and that made me want to possess her more than I’d like to admit. — What time do you need me back, Mr. Blackthorne?

Hearing my name from her lips was tempting, but also irritating. I could feel the provocation in her voice. I saw her innocence and emptiness, all in the same blue eyes she had.

— Stop calling me sir, please. I thought you were going to arrange your room when you returned. I’m sorry, there won’t be any more scenes like that. I swear.

She was about to argue, but I picked up my phone and transferred five thousand dollars to her account. I should have apologized only with words, but practicality always goes hand in hand with convenience. I showed her the receipt and she looked at me, this time fixed enough into my eyes.

— I hope you accept this as an apology. Thank you for coming back, I wouldn’t know what else to say to Julie.

— I’m not going to quit if that’s what you expect. Until then, I’ll stay by your daughter’s side for a long time.

She didn’t say anything else, but before leaving, she looked at me and said:

— I will not take up your space anymore. I never want to take your wife’s place, Mr. Blackthorne. I’ll be back before 4 p.m.

And then she left… helped Julie get dressed, packed her small backpack with great care, something I would never be able to do.

I was putting Julie in her seat when I saw her leaving, with her worn-out backpack and quick steps as if she were running from someone.

I didn’t want to do this, but I had no choice and ended up following her. She took a taxi and stopped not far away. She entered a building—old and almost collapsing, with the appearance that it could fall apart at any moment—with a sign that read: apartments for rent.

She didn’t take long to come out, but she came out happy, almost skipping as she walked. Twirling the keys in her fingers. And then it hit me. She had nowhere to go that night. She left out of pride, and out of pride she’ll leave for good. A tremendous mistake on my part.