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Thirty: The Shape of Wanting Nothing
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2025-06-17 15:30:44Adam Lewiston
The hot chocolate tasted like something from another life. Too sweet. Too simple. And yet, somehow… grounding. I didn’t speak at first. I just let the heat of the mug warm my fingers, let the cinnamon rest on the back of my tongue. Let the silence wrap around us like a blanket neither of us asked for but both of us needed.The couch creaked softly as he shifted beside me. He wasn’t close enough to touch—but he was there. Solid. Warm. Barefoot. Wrapped in a blanket and uncertainty.I didn’t look at him when he spoke. His voice was soft, almost too careful.“Are you staying the night?”I exhaled slowly, my eyes still trained on the chipped corner of the coffee table. The question wasn’t casual. It wasn’t a test. It was honest. And I wasn’t ready for it. Not because I didn’t know the answer. But because I did.My instinct was to say no. To stand. To button my coat and walk out without looking back. That was what I alwa
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