03 // The Drive

Days and hours of aimlessly driving around could never suffice to the amount of pain he felt inside. 

Carmen's pregnancy stunt was the last straw before he realised that everyone around him had deceived him. 

MJ Billings, Sonya Smith, Shannon Botha, Jorge Billings', Lolitta Leibrandt, Jameson Petersen, David Botha, Reina and Antonina Dos Santos, Demi, and finally, Carmen. Not to forget MJ's secretary. 

He was blinded by the thrill of having his own family that he did not want to know where or when it happened. He did not even bother to recall all the times he spent his nights with Carmen and he did not see a bulge in her stomach, or check the details on the scan she gave him a few nights ago. 

He never loved Carmen, neither did he hate her before, but now he despised her. He hated thinking about her, but she was plucked to his mind like a tumour and no amount of medicine could cure him. 

He was damaged, she damaged him, and now he was trying to find his rebound. He had tried alcohol, but it did not help. He tried work, but he could not focus. Now he was left with one thing, facing the one person he did not ever want to see again, but he hoped seeing her face would help him move on. 

He walked into the ICU room and stood motionless at the door as he took in Carmen's fragile body.  

She laid on the bed in a blue hospital gown with a blue sheet covering her lower body. She was connected to drips and a tube, and her head was leaned carefully on the pillow with a cast around her neck to balance her fractured neck. 

A sardonic smile stretched out of Logan's lips as he took in the cast around her neck, and he took calculated steps towards her. At least he was not the only one who got hurt from her stupidity, he thought. 

"Oh, Carmen!" He ran his hand through her blond hair and shook his head. "We could have been happy; you know?" He ran his fingers across her pale face. "Was it worth it?" He asked quietly. "Was my love really worth risking your neck for?" He chuckled bitterly. "Or was it all just an act to actually ruin me? Because if that is it, then you have won." He picked up of the pillows and held it over her head. 

He was so caught in his dark thoughts that he did not hear the door open. "Where's the fun in that?" A voice asked, and he stilled, his hands hanging midair with the pillow in between. "She betrayed you, deceived you, and humiliated you." He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. "Killing her with a pillow while she's unconscious is not enough. You must make her suffer, she needs to compensate for all the pain and suffering she caused you. She's so weak and broken right now, and she has no one. She broke her neck and she will need someone to take her in when she wakes up. Imagine having her all to yourself in your home, imagine pricking her neck with a sharp object while she squirms, begging for mercy. Your mercy..." 

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a calculated voice. 

MJ closed the door and took steps towards him, and then pulled the pillow out of his hands. "Can't I come to see an old friend?" She asked, her eyes locked on Carmen. 

"You knew, didn't you?"  

"Why not?" 

Logan gulped, an immense pressure squeezing his heart. "And you didn't tell me."  

"What did you want me to tell you? That Carmen was never pregnant?" She laughed dryly, and Logan flinched. "Aren't you going to ask me?"  

Logan looked up, confused. "Why you didn't tell me?"  

"How I knew." She stated, her eyes glimmering with pleasure at his pale and limp figure.  

"No." He breathed, shaking his head. "No." He repeated and held on to the bed for support. 

"Yes." MJ smiled. "I put her to it. I paid her R5 million to deceive you, and she took it without question because she knew you were never going to give her your heart." She said. 

"Why?"  

"Why? Is that all you've got to say? No hate speech or a gun to my head?" She chuckled, and Logan breathed heavily. 

"Since when did you become so cold?" He asked. 

MJ's smile vanished and her face hardened. "Jameson Petersen asked me a similar question a few days ago, and guess what I told him?" She asked darkly. "Ask no questions and hear no lies. But I'll make it easier for you." She took steps towards Carmen and ran her fingers across her ashen face in a circular motion as if drawing a target. "You see, you and I are common in more ways than you can imagine. Our hearts are so tainted and dark, you had swear the darkness was tattooed on them. They are covered in dark ink to the point where trying to remove the darkness will only leave us shattered, destroyed, and weak. They are so fragile; we depend on our darkness to survive. We are all the same. We thrive on the pain and suffering of others." She said in a smooth voice. 

Logan scowled at her. "I am nothing like you." He said coldly, his words hanging in the air. 

MJ smirked at him knowingly. "Yet."  

"Why do you hate me so much?" He croaked out, his throat clogging up with unshed tears. "Why?" He strained, his body shaking in anger. 

MJ shrugged. "This world is a cruel place. I'm preparing you for the worst. There is a war coming and there are greater betrayals heading your way than me paying someone to pretend to be pregnant with your child."  

"Why?" Logan repeated. 

MJ observed every reaction, every movement, every emotion from Logan, and she sneered at him. "Ask me that question again a year from now, on this very same date." She said. 

"Why that long?" 

"In twelve months, I would have known who my enemies are and who my acquaintances are."  

He watched her in silence, struggling to put his thoughts into words. He knew him and MJ were not friends, but they were not acquaintances either. A lot of things had happened in the past few weeks and had rendered their relationship questionable. 

He wanted to ask her what he was to her, but he could not form the words. "Where does that leave me?" He asked instead. 

"Wherever your heart lands you in the next few months." MJ said, and Logan gulped; she had bluntly reduced him to a stranger. "Take care of yourself, Baby Doll." She gave a slight nod and gracefully walked out of the ward, leaving Logan conflicted.