The Child You Never Believed

“Help… my head hurts so much…”

It felt as if something were drilling into my temples again and again. I was in so much pain that my fingertips dug into the wall, leaving white dust packed beneath my nails.

The door flew open.

It had to be Mom.

My mother was the cub behavior instructor of the Black Pine Pack. No one understood a cub’s condition better than she did. She would see that something was wrong with me. She had come to save me.

“Are you still not done making trouble? The birthday feast is about to start, and Jenna is already getting impatient.”

“Mom…”

My voice came out weak and unsteady as I reached a hand toward her.

“Mom, my head hurts so badly it feels like it’s splitting open… I think I’m going to die…”

Panic flashed across her face, and she started to bend down to pick me up. Then she looked down and saw the Moon Oath Collar at my throat flashing a violent red.

The panic in her eyes vanished. What replaced it was disappointment, then anger.

“Evelyn, you’re lying again!”

“You would actually curse yourself to death just to ruin your sister’s tenth birthday feast?”

“You are such a disappointment.”

I shook my head desperately, cold sweat running down my temples.

“I’m not pretending. It really hurts… Mom, I can barely see…”

“The Moon Oath Collar does not make mistakes.”

“If you weren’t lying, it wouldn’t be glowing red.”

Dad was already calling from the doorway.

“Hurry up. The guests will be here soon. If Evelyn isn’t coming, then forget it. Just leave her some jerky and canned meat.”

“Leave her food for what?”

“There’s still a pile of jerky and honey cakes in her room from the last time she stole food. She won’t starve.”

My lips parted, but my throat was too hoarse to force the words out.

It had never been me.

It was Jenna who had snuck into the storage room and carried the winter stock of jerky, honey cakes, and nut bars into my room.

After she finished eating, she shoved all the wrappers under my bed.

Then she put on that sweet smile, widened her innocent eyes, and said, “It wasn’t me.” The white glow of her collar seemed to agree with her.

I had said, “I didn’t take them either,” but the moment the red light flashed on my own collar, I was punished again.

Dad looked into the room from the doorway.

“Maybe… maybe we should cancel the birthday feast and take her to the clinic. She really doesn’t look right.”

Mom turned and shot him a sharp look.

“You’re soft on her again?”

“It’s because you keep trying to defend her that she still hasn’t changed.”

“Look at Jenna. Her collar has never glowed anything but white. Then look at Evelyn. Every time she opens her mouth, it turns red. If that isn’t rotten nature, what is?”

“No one is letting her out today. She can come out when that collar turns white.”

Jenna lifted her chin and made sure I could see the white light at her throat.

“Bye, sis. I’m going to my birthday feast.”

The next second, the door slammed shut.

Then I was alone.

I curled up on the floor while the pain in my head ground back and forth like a dull blade.

All I could hear in my mind was Mom’s voice.

The Moon Oath Collar does not make mistakes.

It was glowing red, which meant I was lying.

If I was lying, then I couldn’t really be in that much pain.

I must be doing it again. I must be exaggerating it to get attention.

I bit down hard and cried while forcing myself to believe it.

“It doesn’t hurt…”

“Mom is right…”

I repeated it over and over, the same way I always did after every punishment, forcing down every feeling that was never allowed.

I did not know how much time passed, but at some point the exploding pain in my head suddenly started to fade.

My body felt strangely light, as if the slightest gust of wind could lift me.

I lowered my head and saw myself still curled up on the carpet.

And the Moon Oath Collar around my neck was still flashing red like mad.

So… I was already dead.

And for the first time, I felt happy.

I had not been lying after all. I really had been in so much pain that I died.

I had to go tell Mom. The red light meant the collar was broken.

I was not a bad child.