I'd been called many names throughout my life, each one cutting deeper than any blade ever could. Satan's incarnate, they whispered in the shadows when they thought I couldn't hear. A killer, an abuser, a murderer, the list went on and on until the words became nothing more than background noise to the emptiness that lived inside my chest. People trembled when they saw me coming, cowered when I spoke, followed my orders out of fear rather than respect, but none of it had ever made me feel anything at all.The hollow space where my heart should have been had been carved out from the very beginning, shaped and molded by the man who'd raised me to be nothing more than a weapon. I'd never known love, never understood what it meant to be cared for or protected, had only ever known the weight of expectations and the cold satisfaction of a job well done. He'd trained me to kill anyone, anywhere in the world, had turned me into the perfect assassin by slowly killing every part of me that migh
The truth of his words hit me like a physical blow, and with it came a wave of self-disgust so intense it made my stomach turn. How had I become so comfortable here, so settled in this apartment that belonged to the very man I was supposed to be investigating? I'd been walking around these halls like I owned the place, sleeping in his bed like it was my own, eating at his table and reading books on his balcony as if this was some kind of vacation instead of captivity.I knew I made rash decisions, jumped straight into the unknown without thinking twice, lost my temper at the littlest thing but never have I felt so foolish. I hadn't even bothered to ask. I strangely felt so safe here, it didn't strike me to worry. I swallowed hard and turned to meet his gaze. Those blue cobalt eyes of his that drew me in, whenever we made contact. I was beyond frustrated, I was annoyed and I didn't know what to make of this. I yanked at the loose strand of hair in my face to the back, and looked at Cas
Cassien walked up to me with that same predatory confidence I'd come to know so well, but there was something different about him now, something that made every muscle in my body tense with anticipation. He seemed to already know what was happening between Elias and me.My hands were clenched so tightly at my sides that my nails were digging into my palms, but I forced myself to keep my expression neutral, to not let the anger and fear show on my face. I knew better than to let my emotions slip around Cassien, especially this version of him that looked like he could snap someone's neck without blinking. I wasn't scared of him, not exactly, but I was terrified of what he made me feel, of the way my body seemed to respond to his presence even when my mind was screaming at me to run. I pulled on the blankest face I could manage and stared at him, waiting for an answer, waiting for him to explain why Elias had been avoiding my questions for days. Cassien didn't seem to care about my obvi
Elias was down the hall, the only time I actually caught a glimpse of him during the day. He'd been scarce, appearing only when needed and disappearing. I needed to know how things were at the station, how Kyle was. It's been days and I haven't gotten anything from there. Whenever I tried to get information from Elias, he'd shove it off and be an asshole about it, telling me not to bother so much. And every single time, I'd almost explode in his face. How could I be calm? When things were out of their usual place on the edge of a cliff and had somehow stepped off that cliff, anticipating a very very hard fall. I took in a staggering breath, and tried to control the annoyance beneath my skin. I haven't seen Cassien since when I woke up screaming like it was the end of the world. My hair still felt wet against my fingers, as I raked them through it. The urge to pull at their roots was high, I wanted to shriek at this whole situation. I rarely screamed myself awake at night, it was eat
The flames consumed everything. I was little again, helpless, and watching the orange light dance across my bedroom walls like some terrible ballet. The heat pressed against my face, making it impossible to breathe, and somewhere in the house I could hear them screaming. My parents. Their voices growing weaker, more distant, until there was nothing left but silence and the hungry roar of fire eating away at everything I'd ever known. I reached for the door handle and my small hands burned against the hot metal. The hallway stretched endlessly ahead of me, filled with smoke so thick I couldn't see past my own fingers. I called for them, my voice breaking with terror, but the only answer was the sound of beams crashing down, blocking every path home. The floor beneath my feet was starting to sag, the wooden boards warping and cracking from the heat below. I could see flames licking up through the gaps, reaching for me with fingers of pure destruction. The smoke was so thick I couldn't
I didn't like to admit that my control was slipping. I didn't like to let myself drift too far or think too much about it. I knew my men hated me. I could feel it from their fiery gaze and bloodshot eyes whenever I passed by them. They followed me because they feared me. Me, a 24 years old, who somehow managed to take down the original head and founder of the black rose, who had it running for years, far older than me. Of course, they feared me. They feared the skills I possessed, my ruthlessness and ability to sacrifice anything. They hated me. And wished I'd burn alive.And now, it felt like every brick I'd placed upon the other, whatever wall I'd managed to build was coming down. There was a huge crack somewhere I couldn't see and it was tearing my every progress.I still remembered it all. I remembered the way he had looked at me in the eye and cracked a smile, with blood running from the corner of his mouth. I remembered how he had called me foolish when my knife was on his neck.