Chapter 2

After Theodore shook off my hand and stormed out of the dungeon, I slipped out of the estate during the changing of the guards.

Clutching the last of my cash and a small vial I'd swiped from Dad Gabriel's underground clinic, I stumbled to the old apartment my mother used to rent.

Gabriel had once taught me it was a concentrated painkiller the Family used for quiet euthanasias.

Injected intravenously, a person wouldn't struggle. They would simply fall asleep.

Thankfully, it wouldn't hurt.

Thankfully, I had been curious enough at the time to keep a vial.

No one had lived in the apartment for a long time. Half the hallway lights were broken. I opened the door to the smell of old wood.

A photo of my mother still sat on the windowsill. She couldn't have been much older than I am now.

I hugged the photo to my chest and lay down on the bed.

I pulled two syringes from my inner pocket and twisted off their caps. Gabriel had once guided my hand, showing me how to find a vein. He'd said if I ever faced danger, I needed to know how to save myself.

Now it was finally coming in handy.

Just as I pressed the needle to my skin, I stopped.

If I died mysteriously in the city, the police would trace it back to the Family, and that would be a hassle for them.

So I found a pen and paper and wrote a short note.

"My name is Hazel Vitale, sixteen years old. I have been depressed for a long time. This was my own choice and has nothing to do with anyone else. I am sorry."

After signing my name, I tucked the paper under the photo.

I pushed the plunger, and cold liquid flooded my veins. A sudden, violent cramp seized my heart.

I sank into darkness.

Mom, I'm coming.

I don't know how much time passed, but a violent shock to my chest threw my body from the table.

Retching up a mouthful of sour bile, the pain jolted me awake.

Staring at the blinding surgical lights above, I tried to sit up, ecstatic. The syllable "Mom" had just formed in my throat when I met Gabriel's chilling gaze.

He stood in immaculate surgical scrubs, my crumpled suicide note pinched between his fingers.

His grip was so tight his knuckles had turned a terrifying pale white.

The next second, he smashed the crumpled ball of paper into my face.

"Hazel, you're full of tricks. Resorting to cheap suicide stunts to get our attention now?"

"If you wanted to die, why not do it somewhere else? Why there? That was the apartment your mother left behind. You desecrated it."

Gabriel's roars deafened me, leaving me stunned on the operating table.

Of my four fathers, Gabriel had always been my favorite.

He was the Family's underground doctor and one of the best surgeons in the city.

He used to let me sit on his lap while he taught me how to read X-rays and compress a bleeding artery.

He wore gold-rimmed glasses, and he was gentle. He spoke slowly and spent the most time with me.

I had even fantasized that he might be my real father.

Even when Zoe was first brought back, he hadn't dived headfirst toward her like the other three.

He had merely stroked my cheek and whispered, "Hazel, you are my only Principessa. No one will ever take your place."

Until the day Zoe suddenly clutched her chest and collapsed during a Family dinner.

Gabriel ripped open her blouse, pulling a thin scalpel blade from just under her collarbone.

Just as he sternly demanded to know who had done it, Zoe stumbled forward and fell to her knees before me.

"Sister Hazel, I was wrong! I swear I didn't complain to Gabriel, he noticed on his own. Please don't cut me again!"

That was the first time I saw Gabriel truly lose his temper.

He yanked me out of my chair, his face a mask of disappointment I had never seen before.

"Hazel, I taught you those skills to save your own life, not to commit murder like a jealous bitch!"

No matter how I explained, he wouldn't listen. After all, besides him, I was the only one in the house who knew how to make that cut.

I was the only one in the entire Family who knew the precise angle for that cut.

"Gabe, calm down."

It was only then I realized Theodore was also in the room.

He loosened his tie irritably. "This damn girl is losing her mind. First slitting her wrists, then injecting an overdose at the old apartment. I suspect she..."

Gabriel cut him off.

"Theo, are you going soft? Don't you remember what a good actress she is?"

"She knew it was Zoe's celebration today. She chose today to make a scene, to steal the spotlight."

The flicker of hesitation in Theodore's eyes faded.

"You're right."

Just then, both their phones rang at the same time.

They answered almost simultaneously.

"Dad Theo, Dad Gabe, when are you coming back? The other two dads have been waiting forever."

"Tonight's my ceremony for officially joining the Family. If you don't come back to cut the cake soon, I'm going to get mad and ignore you."

Zoe's voice was sweet and coaxing.

The faces of these two mob bosses, men who terrified the underworld, instantly softened into doting smiles.

Theodore lowered his voice to the soft tone he only used for her. "Baby, I'll be right there."

Gabriel held his phone closer, coaxing softly, "Wait for Dad to cut the cake, okay?"

I was all too familiar with this scene.

Once, I too had been loved this unconditionally.

If I had nightmares, Gabriel would sit by my bed and talk to me until dawn.

If I had a fever, Theodore would cancel a full day of meetings to sit by my bed, holding my wrist to take my pulse.

My fathers hadn't changed, only the object of their affection had.

Amid their repeated calls of "baby," the last of the warmth in my heart vanished.

I was always the one who feared pain the most, always looking for an easy way out.

But now, I couldn't wait any longer.

The clinic was on the third floor, and the wall facing the back alley had a high window.

I inched my way over, grabbed the window frame, and hoisted myself up.

Gabriel reacted first. "Hazel!"

By the time he lunged for me, I was already on the windowsill.

I looked back at them one last time.

Theodore stood frozen, phone still pressed to his ear, Zoe's sweet voice still calling, "Dad."

I smiled, let go, and leaned back.

The cold wind rushed past, and the concrete of the back alley rushed up to meet me.

Goodbye, my fathers.