Chapter 1

Rojan drive his mustang slowly amidst the traffic. He couldn't contain his heart from breathing so fast, it race to the deepest of the ground, trying to flow away yet the force below couldn't let him go. 

“Fudge!” he exclaimed angrily. “It's happen again. What unlucky jerk I am becoming!” He gritted his teeth as his mind keep on recalling the scene earlier. For years of applying job to earn a living, he keep gotten rejection over and over again. 

“You didn't qualify-” 

“Shut up!”

In his barely concealed madness, he roared silently together with his mustang that worn out. Here he realize the piece of his misfortune, the daring traffic that seem forever! 

Moment later he went devastated as he realize that nothing he could do about this misfortune; his lack of luck is uncurring disease that he couldn't get off his system.

Rojan drived home was a hard thing to even imagine, what's more when leaving for the chance of finally able to get the damn job! 

Of course, he expect nothing and not raise his hopes in earlier application, but he couldn't manage to contain his emotion when the outcome never cease to rock his whole life and boiling his blood.

It was when the mustang finally stop that the atmosphere lightened, Rojan turn to be a man who looks like have it all to life and not at all struggling. Ahead of him shown a majestic mansion, a transcended atmosphere felt like natural as his eyes layed onto it. 

“Home...” he murmured. 

Strangely, there's longing in his eyes that lasted for a second. His madness retracted, and his breathing normal as he leave his mustang behind. 

With his pretentious cool aura, he blink lively. “They're here...again,” he whisper with too much hatred. 

Without looking, he can felt them, their eyes especially borne onto him from the second balcony of the mansion. 

There, multiple mocking and sneering be felt stabbing through his existence.

It's the moment he knows his blood boiled in apprehensive height, the kind of which reach the heaven. He barely concealed with his somber face and cool atmosphere. Upon entering, his brother stop him with desolate expression.

“Bro!” Mauricio called out before he even step foot onto the stair. There's a ghost of smile in his lips when he added hurrily the moment Rojan stop. “I hear you don't make it on time. What a pity!”

Rojan barely concealed the frustration; breathing deeply before facing Mauricio with his cold eyes. “So...you know,” Rojan said with his innocent tone, as if he never know how this brother of him takes thing. Naturally, he very well knew where Mauricio obtain the biggest news that made all sneering and despise to spread like wildfire, his blood boiled even more. 

What's more frustrating that made his blood act like in flame was the idea of couldn't voice out his judgement to this brother of his that full of scheme!

What he can always do was to tap Mauricio's tense shoulder as a way of his innocent express of confussion. “Well, it happen that way, Ricio,” he said, expression of deep concern. “Though I least expect it but I really do my best everytime. You know that, right?” 

Maulicio stood straight while eyes couldn't rest in one place. It glance at the balcony to find strength but Rojan continued further in his innocent act and concealed frustration.

He deeply sighed. “If you ask me if I feel bad about it, don't worry,” he smile and look at him thankfully fo the concern. “I have ways and every job seeking is an experience,” he explained, though more likely for himself.

He shook his head apologetically this time. Behind those expression, the concealement of getting this brother of his in its rightful place.

“I'm fine, rest assured, Ricio” he whisper as the coldness of his words retracted the innocent of his voice. 

Mauricio froze in confussion. He look Rojan as if he was facing a ghost, with an odd expression. Not until when realize that Rojan have long fleed to his room that he came to his senses. 

“What...what does he mean-” a tremor run into Mauricio when words coming from Rojan echoed in his mind, “I'm fine, so rest assured.” 

Mauricio trembled, barely stood. “I'm not w-worried, you jerk!” he clench his fist, aware the gazes that befall into him. “I'm no way of need for your assurance!”

Naturally, Rojan hear this brother of him saying. He can only smile expressionless. “I know you don't,” his voice freezing in coldness as he face the lifeless room. He glued to the close door. The room was paint with sadness and loneliness as he stared at it with a look of reminisce for something, something that left the room scream emptiness even more.

Moment later, he sat in the swivel chair. And as he facing the screen, he reminded to how his life totally crumbled, almost like a dream that drive him to believe as such. It start when he fail college; he couldn't pass the most easy subject to others: Physical Fitness.

Not because he isn't fit, it because he couldn't move around freely like those in his age. Rojan believe that he can do good job to support himself when his family lose hopes on him. Those become just a dream that becomes a thing in the past. It's been two years but he still figure out what work will definitely accept him as he is. He's not strong enough to lift something but every works available has to do with strength. 

The world now really become a world for stronger. 

He has the brain though but its losing importance in the world that changing like damn. Technology overrule humanity, as so the brain becomes useless in any means. That's maybe that time he begun to hate everything about innovation, the very existence of Technology. It makes his stamina and strength be important in society. Rojan couldn't last long facing TechnologIcal innovation, such as computer or Laptop. He's fragile and wish to just sleep.

And he wish it happen for all eternity.

All the time when someone invite him to play a game, Rojan always said “no” and avoid the topic at all cost. He afraid they will to know how weak he was.

And he should have felt good when those who try gives up, but they gone for good. As if he was such a disturbing case, a weird creatures that couldn't adapt the change in the world he living with.

Rojan sure the hate game for different reason before he hate how weak he turn to become. He lose the only person who care for him because of gaming. It happen few years of that time but only Rojan grief to the lose. 

His parents nowhere to be seen. His brother gone and all, yet they don't hold their business just to grief their eldest son. 

That's made him question the reality he living in. Why life enjoy tormenting him?

When he begun to find the reason to live on and just let the torment of life be weary of his jerk of existence, but then he fail the only way he can think of to achieve greatness in life: Education.

The only brother who care to him is rooting for his success. Everytime he thought to give up, this brother suddenly show up in his dream and stop him. How he wanted to end this tiresome life of him!

That's when Rojan reminded to that time when his brother said something strange.

“If life is a choice, I'll choose to play a costly gane and become you, Jan.” Rojan find it weird but laughed, his brother knows no bounds and limits when it comes to joking. “But if I do so, I thought I'll lose you.” 

Rojan blink for a second, not so good at analyzing the weird stuff his brother uttered. He couldn't react, his heart throbb like mad.

Before he weirded out even more, his brother laugh like an idiot. “What I mean because I have you,” he explained and his expression softened. “Having myself is what makes someone like you exist. I am who I am because you are here, Jan. So be you....” his words struck to the deepest of his heart. “Be true.”

Rojan blink and find himself comeback to consciousness. He notice his reflection in screen, looks lose and trouble. He wipe the tears as he heard bumping from outside. 

“Rojan!” It was his big brother and was sounded angry than ever. “Open this f***** door!”

Before he could turn his back from the open window to entertain his angry brother, Rojan notice something that form in the hellish cloud that almost couldn't contain its weight. 

As if aligned from dots to dots, the lights strike the almost fell cloud from the sky. It came from different direction, the light that feel like endlessly. 

Rojan trembled in his set, he begun pantin, thought the he begun so mad. He laugh so hard that the knock on the door halted.

“I'm finally gone mad!”

After the dots connected to the cloud that clearly seen from his open window, those lights illuminate the empty space of the cloud and take over the hellish appearance. It filled with primary colors. Rojan taken aback and gasp as he saw something in now a mix of blue and green cloud. And it is something that he have dislike the moment he realize what it is.