Overcoming Loss

He's gone.

Calvin is gone. And I feel so empty.

I don't even know how to describe his loss. He's returning to the states in a few weeks. I can tell that I will be missing him more; if that's even possible. Everything around me reminds me of him, and the thought of losing anything from him makes me sad.

A tender hand rubs over my belly with care and tenderness. I look down and continue rubbing. I couldn't go through with the procedure. I've decided that, despite my mistakes, it's still someone's child. Despite being unprepared, I am willing to raise it with the love and adoration that I never got from my own mother.

Raising this child isn't going to be easy, but I know that I can do it. Sometimes in life, you have to take charge of your mistakes and own up to them.

What's the worst that can happen?

Sitting on my porch and thinking is nice, it gives me a good idea of what I will do to plan for the future, like my job. Because of how rigorous my job is in terms of body fitness,