Chapter 4

A wave of powerlessness overwhelmed me.

Jean had no idea that the healthy kidney in her body was from me.

It was pointless for me to explain, as Jean operated on her own logic and never once doubted Tanner.

Once, Tanner cleaned out the family’s entire savings after getting into gambling while Jean was sick.

All he had to say was, “I saw Graham slipping into your room.”

Jean took his word for it. Convinced that I was the thief, she locked me out of the house and reflected on my behavior in the snow.

The next day, I came down with a raging fever and nearly lost my life.

I blamed her for that.

Even though Tanner and I were her children, she would only heed his call.

Still, I couldn’t leave her to die. She gave me life, even if she played favorites.

Ultimately, I resolved to donate one of my kidneys to her.

As I was severely underweight, the doctor determined that I was unfit to be a donor.

I stuffed myself with food to gain some pounds. Even when my stomach cramped violently, I didn’t once give up.

However, Jean saw my sudden weight gain as a lack of empathy for her.

Her hostility toward me grew, and she escalated to harsh reprimand at best and outright violence at worst.

After the transplant surgery, my health went from bad to worse. It would be physically impossible for me to do strenuous work once I entered the workforce.

I put all my energy into my studies, hoping to turn things around through college.

Due to Jean’s favoritism, everything I worked for was handed to Tanner on a silver platter.

He rode the high in life while I withered into nothing.

Jean buried my body in the vegetable patch out back.

Once the deed was done, she slumped to the floor, her shadow stretching long under the setting sun.

I stood behind her and caught a trace of loneliness and isolation within her.

Since I never told anyone about getting into college, the village people thought Tanner made it to higher education after Jean had him take my place.

They whispered that I must have cheated in school to achieve such good grades.

How else could I have failed to get into college?

When a nosy neighbor asked Jean about me, she told them that I had taken my own life.

“Sigh… I only meant to lock him in the cellar to teach him a little lesson, but the boy took it so hard.”

Now, word around the village was that I was a coward who killed myself over a minor punishment. Apparently, I was a heartless, self-absorbed monster who never considered my mother’s feelings.

Everyone condemned me for being ungrateful to my family, while sympathizing with Jean for raising two children, only for one of them to throw his life away.

Feeling exhausted inside out, I left her to go to Tanner.

It was only then that I realized Tanner had turned to gambling under the pressure of being unable to keep up with his coursework.

The factory boss who planned to fund my education was no dummy. Upon learning that I had changed my name, he did a little digging and found out the truth about college.

Someone blew the whistle on Tanner.

The school expelled him.

The administration hoped to bring me back, but once they heard that I had ended my life, the matter was dropped.

Wandering in the big city with no purpose in life, Tanner spiraled hard into gambling.

By the time I drifted back to Jean’s side, she was having poker night with her girls, chatting between hands.

The conversations among the village women often revolved around three topics.

Husbands, children, and the land were the only things they knew.

Gradually, the subject drifted toward Tanner and me.

“Don’t get me started. Graham had no luck. He was foolish enough to take his own life,” Jean said while playing cards.

“It’s a good thing Tanner is decent. He got into a good college and cares about me. I can count on him to take care of me when I retire.”

The others flattered her, “Tanner has a bright future ahead of him. You’re going to have a blessed life.”

Suddenly, Jean’s phone rang.

Once the call was connected, Tanner’s anxious voice came through.

“Mom, do you have money on you? I’m working on a business venture with a college friend. I need 200k in working capital.”

…

I knew that there was no business venture.

Tanner simply owed 200 grand in gambling debt.