LOGINZane Mercer and I had grown up together. Both our families took it for granted that we would end up together after graduation. He never bothered to hide it, either. Whenever someone brought us up, he would say, “Vivian gets scared so easily. She can’t manage without me.” I believed him for over a decade. Until the first department dinner at college. The prettiest girl in our department carried her drink over and sat beside him, smiling as she asked, “I heard you have a childhood sweetheart. Is she your girlfriend?” Amid the teasing and excited chatter, my cheeks flushed. I waited for him to nod. But Zane hesitated. “No. She’s just the girl next door.” Someone nudged the girl beside him. “Then you’ve got a chance!” She smiled brightly. “I’ll be counting on you to look after me from now on.” Zane didn’t pull away. Instead, he smiled back. “Sure.” In that moment, I remembered how he’d worried about me getting sunburned during the summer camp and gone out in the middle of the night to buy me sunscreen. I remembered how he’d held my hand while we filled out our college applications and promised we’d keep walking through life together. So all those years of affection meant nothing compared to one smile from her. On the way back, he caught up with me to explain. “Selene’s pretty straightforward. I just didn’t want to embarrass her.” I asked, “So it’s fine to embarrass me instead?” He frowned. “Vivian, since when did you get so sensitive?” I said nothing more. That night, I changed all our photos to private. From then on, I would be nothing more than the girl next door.
View MoreI held the bag tightly.“Thank you.”“One more thing.” He paused. “I never deleted our photos.”I said nothing.“I used to think keeping our relationship private was a way to protect you. I didn’t want people gossiping about you.” He gave a bitter smile. “It took me too long to realize I’d simply gotten used to having you follow behind me.“I thought you didn’t need a title, explanations, or someone looking after you.“But you did.”His voice grew quieter.“You always did.”I looked at him and finally said just one thing.“Zane, it’s all in the past.”He nodded.“I know.”“I hope you live well, too.”“Yeah.”The boarding announcement sounded again.I turned and headed toward security.Just before passing through the gate, I looked back once.Zane was still standing there.He didn’t chase after me.He simply waved goodbye.Over the following year, I rarely heard from him.On the occasional holiday, he’d send me a brief message wishing me well, and I’d reply with a
He sent another message.“You once said we’d watch the first snowfall of the year together.”I didn’t reply.A few minutes later, he sent me a voice message.“Vivian, I went to that little diner we used to visit all the time. The owner still remembers you. He asked why you hadn’t been around lately. I ordered your favorite beef and tomato stew, without the cilantro.”He paused.“I’d eaten half of it before I remembered that you’re not here anymore.”“How did I ever convince myself you’d always be there?”I stopped the recording.Daniel asked, “Your ex?”I shook my head.“No.”“Then what is he?”I thought for a moment.“An old habit.”Daniel nodded.“Old habits can be broken.”“Yeah.”“I used to have old habits, too. Staying up late, skipping breakfast, and thinking I was better off alone.”“What happened?”“Then I met someone.”I lowered my eyes to my book.“That person sounds unlucky.”“Pretty unlucky,” he said with a chuckle. “Got lost on her first day and kept
I looked at him.“You remember that I’m easily scared, that I have a sensitive stomach, and that I don’t like walking alone at night. But whenever there’s a choice to make, you always expect me to be the one who gives in.“You think I understand you, so you don’t have to explain yourself.“You think I can’t live without you, so you don’t have to cherish me.”His lips pressed into a thin line.“That’s not true.”“It is.”I spoke calmly.“You love me, but you’re certain I’ll always be waiting right where you left me.”He opened his mouth, then closed it without saying a word.I picked up my laptop bag.“Go home.”“I’m not leaving.”“Suit yourself.”The next day, I posted on social media.The photo showed the blue roof of the main academic building on campus.The caption was short.“First week of my new life.”Less than a minute after I posted it, Zane liked the photo, then quickly unliked it.He sent me a private message.“Did that guy take the picture for you?”I re
Zane looked up at him.“This is between Vivian and me. You don’t need to get involved.”Daniel ignored him and looked only at me.I pulled my hand free.“It’s fine.”Zane’s hand dropped to his side, his fingers curling inward.I handed Daniel the food container.“Thanks for the soup.”Daniel took it.“Don’t forget our group discussion this afternoon.”“Okay.”After he left, Zane asked quietly, “Group discussion? You’re in the same group as him?”“Yeah.”“Vivian, are you doing this just to make me jealous?”“I’m here to attend classes. Group assignments are normal.”“But you never used to do this.”“There are a lot of things I never used to do.”He stared at me for a long moment, unable to respond.“What do you want me to do?”“Go home.”“Anything but that.”“There’s nothing else.”Zane fell silent for a long time before setting the insulated bag at my feet.“Take the chestnuts. Consider this trip a waste of time if you want, but at least don’t make me take them b


















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