Mag-log inMonday came faster than I would have preferred.
I spent Sunday doing what I always do when I'm nervous about something: I prepared obsessively and then told myself I wasn't nervous. I made a list of interview questions. I reorganized the list. I looked up Declan Mercer's stats from last season, which were and I say this with full journalistic objectivity annoyingly good. Forty three points in thirty one games. Conference rookie of the year. A quote in the campus paper from November where he said his goal for sophomore year was to "just play better hockey," which was either refreshingly unpretentious or deeply evasive depending on how charitable you were feeling.
I was feeling professionally neutral.
I also, at approximately eleven PM, found a video someone had posted on the athletics I*******m of him scoring a goal that involved skating around two defenders in a move that had no business being that fluid, set to a song that I would never admit made me watch it three times.
Research. Completely standard research.
The free block after two on Monday put our interview in the athletic center's second floor lounge, which had the ambiance of a waiting room that had tried to become cozy and not quite made it four chairs, a table with a scratch across it, a motivational poster that said CHAMPIONS ARE MADE IN THE OFF-SEASON in a font that suggested whoever designed it had never taken a day off in their life.
I was there at one fifty eight. I had my recorder, my notebook, my reorganized list of questions, and a coffee that I was using as a prop more than a beverage.
He arrived at two oh four, which was late enough to be noticeable and early enough to be technically fine, which I suspected was a calibrated choice and resented slightly. He had a half eaten granola bar in one hand and his jacket was inside out, which okay. Nobody calibrates an inside out jacket. That was just how he existed in the world.
"Hey." He dropped into the chair across from me and looked at the recorder on the table. "That thing on?"
"Not yet." I clicked it on. "Now it is."
He looked at it, then at me. "You're very efficient."
"You're four minutes late."
"I was in the weight room." He turned the granola bar over. "Lost track."
"How do you lose track in the weight room?"
"Same way you lose track anywhere. You're doing a thing and then more time has passed than you thought." He said it like it was obvious, like everyone's relationship with time was just a loose suggestion. "Do you not do that?"
"No," I said.
"Huh." He seemed to file this away. "Okay. What do we do you ask questions, I answer them?"
"That's generally how interviews work, yes."
"Just checking." He finished the granola bar, crumpled the wrapper, and looked around for a bin. There wasn't one within reach. He put the wrapper in his jacket pocket with the equanimity of a person who has made peace with imperfection. "Go ahead."
I looked at my list. I'd organized the questions into three sections: background, hockey, goals. Professional structure. Hendricks had specifically said she wanted human interest alongside athletic profile, which meant I needed the personal stuff too, which I'd put at the end because it felt like the conversational equivalent of deep water and I preferred to wade in.
"How long have you been playing hockey?" I started.
"Since I was three." He said it without thinking, the reflex answer. "My dad put me on skates before I could really walk properly. There's a video of me immediately sitting down on the ice and refusing to move for forty minutes."
I wrote: started age 3. Stubborn early.
"And you just kept going?" I said.
"Never really considered not going." He leaned back in the chair. "It's like asking why you kept figure skating. At some point it stops being a choice and just becomes the thing you are."
I looked up from my notebook.
He said it simply, without any apparent awareness that it was a reasonable thing to say. Like it was obvious. Like everyone understood that there are some things you do and some things you are and the distinction matters.
I had been figure skating since I was four and nobody had ever said that to me out loud.
"Right," I said. I wrote something that was not actually words, just lines, to give my hands something to do. "Who influenced your style of play?"
He thought about it actually thought, rather than reaching for the standard answer. "My coach here, Coach Briggs, technically. But honestly?" He tilted his head. "My little sister. She's twelve. She has zero hockey knowledge and watches every game I have footage of and she'll just say things like you looked hesitant in the third period and she's always right." He paused. "Kids don't know they're supposed to be diplomatic. It's useful."
I wrote: sister, 12. Brutally honest. His actual coaching staff.
"Does she come to games?"
"When she can. She lives with my mom in Sudbury, so " he shrugged "it's a drive. She came home in October. Made a sign."
"What did it say?"
Something crossed his face that I hadn't seen yet unguarded, briefly warm..
I was still looking at him
His teammate, taller, blond, the number seven on his jersey leaned against the boards next to me with the specific confidence of someone who has never been told a bad idea was bad. "You're the journalist," he said."That's me," I said."Kowalski." He stuck out his hand.I looked at his hand. Then at him. "The rut," I said.He looked confused. "What rut?""The east wall. Tuesday resurfacing.""Oh." Recognition landed on his face, followed immediately by the look of someone who has decided the best move is to not fully engage with this line of questioning. "Yeah, that's what kind of happens.""It really doesn't, actually," I said."Blades catch sometimes""Not like that," I said pleasantly. "Not in the same place three weeks running."Kowalski opened his mouth, then made the wise decision to close it. He had the expression of someone reassessing who, exactly, they had decided to introduce themselves to. "I'm just going to" he gestured vaguely at the ice."Good talk," I said.He left. I
Wednesday practice did not start well.This was my fault, which I'm noting upfront so nobody thinks I'm about to blame someone else for something that was objectively my fault. I set two alarms the night before five AM and five-fifteen, the backup system I'd been using since freshman year of high school and somehow, in the specific insanity of Tuesday night, I forgot that I'd silenced my phone during a film review session and never unsilenced it.I woke up at six oh seven.Practice started at six.I'm going to skip over the next eleven minutes because they were not my finest and I'd like to preserve some dignity here. What I will say is that I made it to the rink by six eighteen with my recorder, my notebook, my jacket on correctly, and my hair in a ponytail that was doing its best under the circumstances. I pushed through the rink doors with the energy of someone arriving casually, not someone who had jogged the last four blocks in twenty-two degree weather.The cold hit me like a wa
With the hockey player exterior momentarily absent. "It said THAT'S MY BROTHER HE'S OKAY I GUESS in purple glitter." He looked at the table. "She made it herself. Glitter everywhere, apparently. My mom was finding it for weeks."I stared at my notebook so I didn't smile at him."Okay," I said. "Athletic goals for this season.""Conference championship.""Everyone says that.""Everyone wants it," he said. "Not everyone has a specific plan for it. We do." He said it without arrogance just fact, stated plainly. "Our defensive structure last year had a gap in transition coverage. Briggs reworked it in the off season. This year we're faster on the penalty kill and our blue line communication is significantly better." He paused. "That probably sounded like very boring hockey analysis.""I'm a journalist," I said. "I'll make it interesting.""Can you?" He looked genuinely curious. Not condescending curious. "Do you actually follow hockey or is this a you got assigned a hockey player and no
Monday came faster than I would have preferred.I spent Sunday doing what I always do when I'm nervous about something: I prepared obsessively and then told myself I wasn't nervous. I made a list of interview questions. I reorganized the list. I looked up Declan Mercer's stats from last season, which were and I say this with full journalistic objectivity annoyingly good. Forty three points in thirty one games. Conference rookie of the year. A quote in the campus paper from November where he said his goal for sophomore year was to "just play better hockey," which was either refreshingly unpretentious or deeply evasive depending on how charitable you were feeling.I was feeling professionally neutral.I also, at approximately eleven PM, found a video someone had posted on the athletics Instagram of him scoring a goal that involved skating around two defenders in a move that had no business being that fluid, set to a song that I would never admit made me watch it three times.Research.
I have a list of things I swore I would never do at Harlow University.Number one: live in the athletic dorm. Done that, first week, because the regular dorm assignment system apparently doesn't account for people who need a five AM alarm and zero social consequences for it.Number two: take a sports media elective to fill a credit gap. Done that too, starting this Thursday, because apparently "Introduction to Broadcast Journalism" was the only thing left that didn't conflict with practice.Number three and this one I held onto the longest, this one felt sacred never, under any circumstances, get assigned a profile piece on a hockey player.The universe, as it turns out, has a fantastic sense of humor and zero respect for my list."Zara." Professor Hendricks held up a folder across the seminar table like she was presenting evidence. "You've got the men's hockey program. Specifically, you're profiling their starting center."Twenty-two students looked at me. I smiled the smile I'd be







