Chapter 39

Addie

The apartment is quiet when I wake up the next morning. Part of me had hoped Tatum would come back, instead of spending the night with Remy, but judging by the silence, I'm alone. Again. Fuck, I hate this feeling.

Getting out of bed is a struggle. Not only because it's cold, but because the weight of so much shit is pressing down on me and I can't seem to get out from under it. Most people would look at me and think I have it all, right? Great family, great friends, a good life. And I do, but I just don't feel like it's my life. No one in my family looks like me, they weren't there to hear that my mom was pregnant, no one can tell me the details of my birth. The real intimate details, like how long was she in labor? Did she have a C-section or a natural birth? Was I early, or late? Was she happy that she was having me? Was she scared? I've been struggling with these questions lately. I'm having a hard time finding my place, where I fit in.

This loneliness, this feeling of