Bucket Lists

Since we don't have a class scheduled every Friday. I also did not have any plans. I forgot to make a plan because I was so hung up on figuring out what I felt yesterday.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I better check my SNS first. Same old news, same old viral videos, same old messages, same old faces, same ol-wait, a new friend request and a message request. Who could it be?

Click.

Killian Je with captain hooks profile picture. Eh? Killian, my block mate? Should I accept him?

Wait, I better read his message first. Maybe it's important. You know, I always get 'How are you' , 'Are you doing fine' , 'You okay' messages. I know they're all concerned but I hate it, it's like they really pity me so mom explained why they sent me those and now I kind of am trying to understand them.

Opening.

Killian Je: [Can I come over to your house? We need to make our bucket list]

Well at least that's a refreshing new message to read but what will I reply?

Killian Je: [Please?]

Ahh dang it. He said the magic word. I hate it when someone says the magic word.

Veronika: [Fine. I'll send you the address]

His reply was an emoji. An excited emoji to be exact. I told him the address and he said it's not far from his place. Well, good for him.

Bad for me, I have to arrange my things as quickly as possible. I haven't had any new visitors here aside from my best friend who always comes here. I also need to tell mom that someone's coming and to not be awkward.

She sometimes was kind of awkward if someone would visit me at home, she always tells them about my childhood days and other embarrassing stuff about me. You know moms.

"Mum, Dad. My classmate is coming over to do our project so please behave and don't tell him about my condition" Mum just let out a small laugh and told me that she'll prepare some snacks but Dad is looking at me with a blank expression. And it's scaring me. Did I do something wrong? What did I do?

I was going to ask Dad what's the matter but then the doorbell rang and he went to open the door. I saw Killian standing outside, sweating. Did he run? Or is it just hot outside?

"Hi sir, I-im Killian Jed Reyes you're daughter's classmate" I did not hear any replies from my dad so I rushed to the kitchen and told mom that dad is being awfully strict again.

In times like this, mom is my savior but I could not blame dad for being strict now. It was the first time that a guy was going to visit me in our house.

"Honey, let him in. Come inside" Good thing dad obeys mom. I admire both of them, no one can beat their relationship nowadays. They just don't break that easily.

Killian is now inside the house sitting on the couch with dad facing him on the side. I told him to wait for a while because I'm still not finished cleaning my stuff inside so I left him with dad.

I did not know what they were talking about now. Maybe dad was investigating him. Who cares? I'm too busy here as well.

Finally, I'm done with the entire room. Woah! Didn't even break a sweat. It was too easy.

I better go get Killian now, maybe he's dead by now because of dad. Who knows what dad might do to him.

"Killian, you can come in now" I did not go downstairs and I clearly saw what they were doing right now. Seems like dad was seriously talking to him about something. Argh. I wonder what that was. I hope it's not something embarrassing.

Killian then stood up and took a bow then went straight to the stairs to where I am now.

I don't know why he kept on smiling at me when I looked at him. He was making me feel awkward again.

"So let's start?" I'm sitting in my bed right now, while he is sitting on my jelly bean chair. I wanted to get this done right away but it seemed like he's not listening to me right now. His eyes are rolling and his head is turning everywhere in my room. Is this his first time in a girls room?

"Hey are you even listening to me?" I snapped my finger in front of him and he came back to his senses.

I am starting to regret my decision to make him my partner.

"Oh sorry, I was just distracted. Your room is really nice" I rolled my eyes then faced my laptop again. I hate writing it down, I mean handwritten things. I don't like it, we live in a digital world. Who needs paper and pen?

"So which bucket list am I going to type first?" I asked him to face my laptop and open my writing pad but he stopped me. He shut it down and placed it on my study table.

What was his problem?

"Prof said it should be handwritten" I nagged and opposed. I hate writing things down using my hands, for one main reason. I have really bad penmanship.

One time, I joined a feature writing competition. I was so confident because the topic was so easy and fun. I was the first one to finish writing and on the day of the winner announcement, I was not called. Meaning I lost. I asked one of the judges why I did not win, all he said was 'You have bad penmanship' and that was the start of my traumatic writing experience.

"But..."

"No buts Race. I'll just write it so just tell me your list"

Why was he so nice? Is this normal? I'm not used to it. He should be bullying me by now.

My bucket list...

I did not really make a new one but last year I made one. It was quite a sad bucket list because I know I could not really do it all.

My favorite one on my bucket list was to wear a dress. Wear a dress, a long white dress while walking down the aisle. Who doesn't want that? Every girl dreams of marrying the man of her dreams but in my case, It will only happen in my dreams because my time is limited and cut short.

Should I tell him that? Gosh, Veronika of course, you must never. But why? If you do, he will act weird towards you and he will pity you.

Oh right. I should not. Thanks for the reminder,inner voice.

I guess I will just make another bucket list for this project. This is freaking tiring.

"Earth to Race. Are you there?" I came back to my senses then smiled at him. The funny thing is when I'm the one smiling, he can't look at me directly for a second then after that he will stare at me making me turn red.

"Sorry, I was thinking 'bout my bucket list" And after that, I told him the thing I want to do. First was to travel around the Philippines. Go to the historic and haunted places in our country. Record a song in a recording company.

Those were some of the things I really wanted to do. It's on my old bucket list, still haven't done any of that except travel. I've been to some places with my parents.

The last one on my list was not really real but it's not fake either. I told him, I want to go to a ball. If you think about it, a ball is closer to a wedding because you still get to wear a perfectly beautiful dress.

Then he told me the things he wanted to do and I was amazed by it. He is so full of things. So positive in life. I wish I'd be more like him though.

"It's already late. I have to go see you this Monday. Have a good night" I didn't get to reply because he kissed me lightly on my cheek. Damn. I did not know what to do. I'm feeling really hot.

The butterflies in my stomach were moving so fast that I wanted to vomit.

No one, I mean no guy except my dad and grandpa has ever kissed me. I never had any boyfriends, no flings. Never experienced dates, movies and all.

"O-okay. B-bye" Ugh. I stammered. What is happening to me?

Why am I like this all of a sudden? Damn. He's making me confused. Does he like me? Do I like him? Is he playing with me?

No this won't do.

I better make up my mind. I can't feel this right now. I don't want to have any strings attached. I want to leave peacefully without any doubts and regrets.