Chapter 6

Izzy

I slammed the door so hard my hand stung right away. My heart would not slow down. It kept pounding like it wanted to jump out. I ran down the hall to my room and locked the door fast. I pressed my back against it and slid all the way down to the floor. My legs felt weak. What the hell did I just walk in on.

Riven on his bed with his shorts down and his hand moving on himself and my video playing right there on his phone. My own video where I was moaning his name like an idiot. I squeezed my eyes shut tight but the picture stayed in my head. Him groaning. His body all tense. The mess on his stomach. I did not see that. I told myself over and over. I did not see anything at all.

I sat there on the floor for what felt like forever. My face burned hot. My breathing came out all shaky. Part of me wanted to go back and yell at him for stealing my private video. Another part wanted to hide under the bed and never come out. This was all so messed up. He was my stepbrother. I hated him. He made fun of me and my mom when they first moved in. But now this. I whispered to myself again. Nothing happened. I saw nothing. I crawled into my bed and pulled the covers over my head. Sleep took a long time to come. Every time I closed my eyes I heard him say my name like that. Rough and desperate. It made my stomach twist in a weird way. I hated it. I hated him. But I could not stop thinking about it either.

The next morning I woke up feeling like crap. My eyes were puffy from not sleeping much. Mom yelled up the stairs that breakfast was ready. I dragged myself down and sat at the table as far from Riven’s usual spot as I could. I stared at my bowl of cereal and pushed the flakes around with my spoon. He came in a couple minutes later. His hair looked messy like he just rolled out of bed. He sat down and glanced at me right away. I kept my eyes on my food. Do not look at him. Do not think about last night.

Mom passed the milk. “Here Izzy pass this to your brother.”

I handed it over without lifting my head. Under the table I squeezed my thighs together tight. That ache from last night came back a little. I remembered how he looked. How hard he was. How he moved his hand. Stop it Izzy. I kicked myself mentally. Riven cleared his throat loud.

“Practice sucked yesterday,” he said to Dad. His voice sounded rough. Kind of smug but tired too. “Coach rode us hard.”

Dad started talking about hockey and games coming up. I tried to listen but my mind kept drifting. Riven’s foot bumped mine under the table on purpose. I kicked him back harder. He smirked a little. I could see it from the corner of my eye. When I looked up quick his eyes were on me. That same look from last night. My cheeks got hot again. I looked away fast.

“You okay honey?” Mom asked. She sounded worried. “You’re really quiet this morning.”

“I’m fine,” I said. My voice came out squeaky. “Just tired from school stuff. No big deal.”

Riven snorted under his breath like he did not believe me. I kicked him again. He kicked back. Our legs tangled for a second under the table. I pulled away quick. My heart raced. This was stupid. Why did my body feel warm all over just from that. I hated how he made me feel now. Like I wanted to yell at him and kiss him at the same time. No. Not kiss. I did not see anything last night. That was my story and I was sticking to it.

Breakfast dragged on forever. Dad asked Riven about his next game. Riven answered but kept sneaking looks at me. I ate my cereal fast and stood up to leave. “I got homework,” I mumbled.

Riven stood up too. “I’ll help with dishes.”

Mom smiled at that. “Nice to see you two getting along.”

We did not get along. Not at all. In the kitchen he came up close while I rinsed a plate. “We need to talk Izzy,” he said low so our parents would not hear.

I handed him the plate. “Talk about what? I do not know what you mean.”

He took it and put it in the dishwasher. His arm brushed mine. “You know exactly. Last night. You opened my door. You saw me with the video.”

I shook my head fast. “Nope. Wrong door. I saw nothing. You are making this up.”

He stepped closer. “Bullshit. Your face went red as a tomato. You heard me say your name. You saw me finish.”

“Shut up,” I hissed. I dried my hands on a towel. “I did not see you jerking off or anything like that. Leave me alone Riven.”

He grabbed my wrist gently. “Why are you lying? It is okay. We can figure this out.”

I pulled away. “There is nothing to figure out. Go bug someone else.”

I walked out fast and went to my room. The rest of the day I stayed in there. I tried to do homework but my mind kept going back. Him on the bed. Moaning my name. It made me feel restless. Wet even. I lay on my bed later when the house got quiet. Mom and Dad went out shopping or something. I slipped my hand under my shorts again. Just to see. I was already wet. I rubbed slow at first thinking about what I did not see. His hand moving fast. His face when he came. I moved my fingers quicker. It felt so good. My breath got all ragged. I whispered his name without meaning to. “Riven… damn you.”

Footsteps came down the hall. My eyes popped open. I yanked my hand out and fixed my clothes. Heart hammering. The door handle turned.

“Izzy you in there?” Riven called.

“Go away,” I yelled. “I am busy.”