CLARAMs. Antonia still looked worried. At first, I didn’t want to ask, but I had no choice. “You don’t look good, Ms. Antonia. Why not check on him and ask what the problem is. You’re his mother, I’m sure he’ll definitely talk to you.”She shook her head. “I tried, Clara, but he prefers to lock himself in there like I don’t mean a thing to him. I don’t want to believe he can handle it all by himself, but... he won’t give me a chance to understand his pain.”I felt sad for her. I wasn’t bold enough to take the step to ask him what the problem was. He couldn’t even give his mother a chance, would he give me?She held my hands. “What about you ask him yourself, I’m pretty sure he’ll listen to you better.”My eyes flew open, she was joking, right? How am I supposed to approach him with his current condition? I’m certainly sure he wouldn’t even listen to a single word out of my mouth.“Ms. Antonia...”She didn’t let me talk, she cut in. “You don’t have to say no to this, besides sooner th
MATEO“There might be people who can’t express how concerned they are, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care.” I watched as tears clouded her eyes as she said that.Why do I feel like there was more to this than just words?No one has ever dared to speak back at me, not to talk about raising their voices. letting them say a word without dishing out the consequences wasn't a thing to me. But for some reason I wish I knew; I couldn’t do anything while I watched her talk to me like a kid.I listened to her. I’ll admit, I hated myself for my actions even though the last thing I wanted to do was show it out.“I’ll leave you to rest,” she said, heading for the door. “Sorry if I bothered you though.”I watched her leave, shutting the door behind her. For a moment, I just stood there, cursing at myself for looking weak and stupid before her. I hated how I couldn’t do anything; I hated how I couldn’t treat her like I did to the others who crossed boundaries. Not even my ex could stand it when
MATEOMy head spun and I was close to tearing the table down with the level of anger burning inside of me.Renzetti murdered my father?And all these while I’ve always thought he was better than anyone else, way better than those men on the table. Little do I know he was the devil in sheep’s clothing.Worse, he was my real enemy.There wouldn’t be any reason other than he needed the glory for himself. He wanted the seat; and the recognition that came with it. He wanted to be noticed, to be called world famous.But then, why was I knowing all this now?“Why didn’t no one tell me about this, why am I getting to know now?” I questioned.“Because your father instructed me not to. Mateo, we all know that if you ever get to know, you won’t hesitate to take action. No matter what, your father believes in peace and not war. And that was how he conquered his enemies. That was how he was able to get to what he was before he died. Everything is not about war, son.”“There are times when war need
MATEOIsaac sat before me; our wines were yet untouched. He didn’t look frightened, nor concerned. He was only curious why I had called him here.“You said you wanted to discuss something with me, right?” He stated. “I’m listening.”“How come you knew all this while and yet you said nothing about it to me.”Isaac furrowed his brows, “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”I slammed my fist on the table. He didn’t flinch, like he knew I was going to do that. He only blinked his eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, De Mante.” I growled.“Maybe it’s time you go straight to the point, son. I honestly have no idea what...”His words were only pissing me off, I couldn’t hold back. “I stared at Isaac, my chest tightening with anger and betrayal. My voice was low, but the weight behind it was impossible to ignore. “You knew the truth about my father’s death all this time, and you said nothing?” I asked, my hands clenched into fists. “You let me live believin
MATEOI couldn’t kill him; not like I didn’t want to. But at least, I needed to know who this enemy he was referring to before I thought of ending his life.“Return him to the cell,” I ordered and turned my back to leave.Things were getting even more interesting as the day passed by, and I was beginning to realize all these while I was left in the dark, living with my little knowledge and fantasies that I’d known just enough about the games.Maybe I do know, but not as much as I expected.As soon as we were out of the dungeon, Dominic asked me why I couldn’t kill Bruno. “Don’t tell me you believe his words. He might be saying that to save his life, you know.”“I know. But sometimes we need to act stupid just to get what we want.” I looked at him, “And I just did that.”We continued walking, heading to the mansion. “Bruno seems to know more than enough, and if his words had any link to Renzetti, then that’s even more interesting.”“Let me guess, you want to use him as bait?”“I don’t
CLARAI wasn’t expecting him to notice that. If anything, I wasn’t expecting him to have thought there was something more. Why would my life have to be so complicated? Was it a crime to ever be loved or fall in love? Worse, to someone who wants you to share the same bed with him, yet expects nothing from you at all.“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the contract so soon.” He had this smile that made me want to slap it off his face. “Or do I have to remind you of it?”At this point, my heart was beating so fast, his closeness was so intimidating that I doubted I could survive for the next five minutes. Mentally, I wished he’d create the longest distance between us.As if he read my thoughts, he pulled away. “I bet Lily would be waiting for us,” his smile grew even wider. For God’s sake, can he just stop smiling? “Let’s not keep her waiting.”I was left alone, wailing in my thoughts. I hated myself for being too cheap to be read. I never thought he’d find out one of these days. I never th
CLARAEverything that happened the previous day was still stuck in my head. Every single detail of how Mateo had pulled me to himself, how close his face was to mine, how his scent had almost made me go crazy. Not to talk of how intimidating his closeness was.We did sleep together, but I made sure I gave enough distance between the both of us. He did mention it, though not like he took it too personally.“I think I’m better off this way,” I told him. “I need to get some sleep, and you too.” As much as I tried every means to hate him, I just couldn’t find the perfect one.I mentally expected him to say something, at least a protest, but no. he didn't. Every reason I came up with only sprung my feelings for him, and I hated it. I was supposed to be hating him, and not the opposite.I woke up earlier than usual. I couldn’t sleep because my chest wouldn’t let me. It was so troubling that it felt like I was lifting the world’s burden. However, Mateo was still asleep, snoring soundly like
CLARAI sat on the stone bench in the garden, my fingers gripping the edges as I fought the tears that refused to stop. No matter how much I told myself to forget him, my heart wouldn’t listen. It was like a chain, pulling me back to him even when I knew I should run. “Clara?” I turned at the sound of Lucaa’s voice. She’s been walking helter-skelter for the best ice cream since we came here. She didn’t let me follow her when I wanted, she kept emphasizing on my baby. Staring at her, all I could see was concern written all over her face. I quickly wiped my tears and forced a weak smile. “You’re crying,” she said as he walked closer. “What happened?” I let out a shaky breath. “It’s nothing. I just—” I sighed. “I don’t understand myself anymore, Lucaa.” She sat beside me, waiting patiently for me to continue. She was always like that—calm, never forcing words out of me. “It’s Mateo,” I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “No matter how much I try to stop my heart, it
MATEO“You’ve been smiling a lot lately. Care to tell me what’s got you so happy because last I checked, Renzetti was still alive and well,” Dominic said.We had just finished a meeting, and instead of getting out of my office, he was prying into my personal life, which was on brand for him.“I don’t remember it being any of your business, and last I checked, the fact that Renzetti is still alive doesn’t mean I had to be miserable about it,” I replied.“No, it doesn’t but I’ve known you for years, and you’ve smiled more in the last few days than I’ve ever seen you do. Which tells me that something has changed, and I think I have an idea as to what it is,” Dominic added.“Yeah? Why don’t you tell me since you now seem to be aware of everything going on in my life?” I demanded.“Being your usual self isn’t going to make me switch the subject, Mateo. I’m your friend first, and I’m glad you finally took my advice and told Clara how you feel,” he said, and I stared at him in surprise.“How
CLARA“You better not be messing with me,” Lucaa warned.“I promise I’m not,” I responded.We were at our favorite bistro and had placed an order for some burgers and fries. Since we were waiting for our food, I told her about what had been going on between Mateo and me.“Swear that you’re telling the truth,” she demanded.“Come on, Lucaa. You’ve known me for most of my life. Do you think I would lie to you about something like this?”She thought about it for a moment before she said, “No, you won’t.”Then, her face transformed into a bright smile. "It's about time! Gosh, this is amazing news!" she exclaimed excitedly.“Wait, you’re not mad I didn’t tell you earlier?”She looked at me like I was crazy. “Should I be?”“I guess not.”“I’m definitely not mad. In fact, I appreciate you waiting to tell me in person, and this isn’t about me, remember? This is about you finally fighting for the happiness you deserve,” she said.“Thank you so much, Lucaa. I honestly wouldn’t have had the cour
CLARAI had always thought that people who claimed to be blissfully happy were always so full of it.Oh, I was so wrong.They were absolutely right. Don't get me wrong. Nothing came close to how happy I was when I held Ale in my arms for the first time, but this was a close second.Ever since the veil had been lifted on our feelings, Mateo and I have been in such a happy bubble. These past few days have felt like a dream.He has made it a point of duty to get home earlier than he usually did so we could all have dinner together and this had not gone unnoticed by Lily and his mom who were unsurprisingly curious about what had changed.I told them that we were trying to rekindle the spark in our relationship and thankfully, his mom believed me. Lily, on the other hand, took me to the side and said it was about time we both got our heads out of our asses.Needless to say, that was her way of telling me that she approved of my new relationship with, Mateo.The only person who was still in
CLARA“Was that so hard for you to admit?” I asked.He looked at me like I had grown two heads and replied. “No, that was surprisingly easy.”“Good, because I didn’t have any plans to leave either,” I said. “I don’t know when or how it started but what I feel for you is nowhere near superficial and I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up.”He groaned like he was in physical pain before he said, “It’s taking everything in me not to kiss you right now.”“Then don’t fight it. Kiss me, Mateo,” I demanded.I had barely gotten the words out before his lips crashed onto mine. We both groaned heavily into each other and honestly, for the first few seconds, I didn’t move.I couldn’t move because I was too afraid that this was all a dream and any movement would kill the bubble we were in but Mateo sensed that and slowly eased me into the kiss, making me melt into him.I kissed him back like he was oxygen and I was air deprived. Like he was the air I didn’t even realize I needed in my life.
CLARATalking with Lucaa was exactly what I needed. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right, I couldn’t keep living on ifs and maybes. I needed certainty in my life. So I had to have that conversation with Mateo whenever I got the chance. It was late at night and Ale had been fed, burped and changed. When I finally put him to sleep in crib, I released a sigh of relief.Now that I had put him down, he should be knocked out for at least a couple of hours. Long enough for me to take a quick shower and get some sleep.I grabbed the baby monitor on my way to the bathroom. Although it was unlikely, I wanted to be able to hear my child in case he woke up.I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower, the warm water cascaded through my body, soothing my skin.I debated it for a while before I decided to wash my hair. I haven’t gotten around to doing it for days and I figured now was just as good a time as any. So I grabbed my shampoo and conditioner and proceeded to wash
MATEOIt’s been about a week now and I still haven’t heard a word from, Bruno.I hated to admit it, but the truth was I was really getting worried. I didn’t know what business he had to get done in Puerto Rico and the last time I checked with him, he had moved on to Mexico.There were a number of possible reasons why he hadn’t been able to reach out and none of them were good.I even told Dominic about it and he was also getting worried, that was after he made fun of my ass for acting like a fucking mother hen.I concluded that if I didn’t hear from him by close of business today, I was going to hit up my contacts in Mexico, maybe one of them might know what’s going on.But as fate would have it, just when I had come to a conclusion, my phone rang and I saw Bruno’s name on display.Accepting the call, I put the phone to my ear. “Where the fuck have you been? I haven’t been able to reach you for days now,” I yelled into the phone but I was met with the sound of laughter.“Do I sound li
CLARAAt this point, I was so convinced that Mateo was avoiding me. Apart from the schedule we’ve silently created for Ale’s night feeds, moments when we were both tired and barely able to make conversation, I hardly saw him.He was the one who promised me we were going to have a conversation, but lately, he had been leaving for work earlier than usual and returning late.I couldn’t talk to his mother or Lily about it, they were his family and it was hard for them to be objective so I decided to unload the burdens to my best friend.We agreed to meet at our usual cafe and I was more than happy to leave, Ale in Mrs. Antonia’s care while I took a few hours for myself. I haven’t been out of that house since I got back from the hospital and I was beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic.I ordered a latte and muffin and it got served just as Lucaa came rushing in.“I’m so sorry for being late. I got held up at work and traffic was crazy,” she said sounding out of breath.“It’s okay. I have
MATEOThe house was quiet by the time I got back.I’m guessing that was because they decided to turn in early, especially since it was a given that the baby was going to be up crying in the middle of the night.I headed towards the master bedroom but decided at the last minute to take a detour towards the guest rooms.I knocked on the door, hoping that she was still awake and the door was opened a few moments later.“It’s late,” she said.“I know, Mom but I really want to talk to you and I figured now is as good a time as any,” I replied.Mom glared at me before moving sideways so I could come inside. She closed the door and moved to sit on the bed while I remained standing.“Now say what it is you want to say,” she said.“I know you’re mad at me and you have every right to be,” I started and she scoffed.“Mad? That doesn’t even begin to cover the range of emotions that I’m currently feeling,” she replied.I nodded in agreement. “I know and I also know that there’s nothing that I can
CLARAI stared at Lily, unsure of what to say, but I couldn’t keep quiet any longer, so I went with the first thing that popped into my head.“I don’t think you need to thank me. I haven’t done anything except take up space in here,” I said.Lily shook her head in disagreement. “That’s not true and you know it. Stop selling yourself short, Clara, and just take the credit you’re due,” she said.But that was the thing. I wasn’t due any credit. That will just make me more of a fraud.“Listen, Lily. I don’t know what makes you think I’ve done anything to make Mateo a different man since I moved in here but I can assure you that I haven’t done anything,” I told her.“The fact that you don’t see it speaks a lot about the magnitude of what you’ve done,” Lily said.“Hmmm… I really think you’re mistaken. If there’s anyone that has gained anything then it’s me. Although our situation isn’t quite conventional, Matoe gave me access to a community of people that have accepted me and my son as thei