Chapter 4: Acceptance

Henry

“Are you sure about this, Henry?” my father asks me.

“Dad, I’m thirty-four years old. You know I’ve always wanted my mate. Unlike Quirin who didn’t care, I did. And yet, for some reason, the Moon Goddess has decided that I’m not worthy of a fated mate.”

“Son ...” he begins.

“Dad, please. I hear it enough from Q.”

“Then maybe you should listen to the man who loves you like a brother,” he says more sharply than is normal for him.

“Harold,” my stepmother says softly.

My father takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. It’s rare that I try my father’s patience, but apparently the idea of me taking a chosen mate is pushing him to his limits.

“Son, I have been blessed with two fated mates in my life. Believe me when I tell you that there is nothing, NOTHING greater in this world than the love that is created through the bond that the Moon Goddess makes for you.”

“How long am I supposed to wait, Dad? Another ten years? Twenty? Until I’m dead and this pack passes to someone else? Maybe you got two mates and I get none.”

“That’s not how it works and you know it. What about Wendy? The two of you seemed to share a bond after she was attacked by one of Jasper’s pack members.”

I shrug. For a long time, I had hoped that Wendy was my mate too. But having seen Kennedy follow after Quirin all her life, even as a pup, I know that Wendy is not for me.

“It’s not going to happen, Dad. She’s not my mate. If she were, she’d still be spending every waking minute with me. But she’s not. What she had for me was a schoolgirl’s crush. And I was holding on to foolish hopes that it was more than that. Justine is a good woman, Dad. Just give her a chance. Take time to get to know her when I bring her home.”

“Of course we’ll take time to get to know the woman you want to take as your mate and Luna, Henry. Won’t we, Harold?” Farrah says, looking at my father.

He scrubs his hands over his face. “I think you’re making a mistake. I want to go on record as saying that. But, if this is your choice, then I will accept it. I love you, my son. You’ve always made good decisions in your life. If you think this woman is right for you, then I’ll accept that,” he says.

“Thank you, Dad. It means a lot to me.”

“I heard Cyra and Yorick had their son and have returned to the Academy. It’s not that far out of the way for you to stop by and finally sign that alliance agreement. I think they’re starting to question if you want to maintain an alliance with them, especially after you missed Cyra’s court appearances.”

“You’re right. I should have made time for them. Even if they said they didn’t need me there, it wasn’t right for me not to be. They would have been there for me. I’ll detour to the Academy and sign that agreement with Yorick and Cyra and meet the newest Hill on my way home,” I say, hoping one day soon it will be the Hills coming to meet my son or daughter.

I hug my father and after making sure the pack is ready for me to be gone for a few days again and prepared for me to bring home their potential Luna, I head back to Justine’s pack.

‘Our father is right,’ Tyrus, my wolf, says.

‘Not you too, Buddy. You agreed to this. I wouldn’t be doing it if you hadn’t.’

'I know, but ...' he sighs. He has wanted his fated mate just as much as I’ve wanted mine.

‘For whatever reason, we either weren’t given a fated mate, or we haven’t been able to find her. It’s time for us to start a family, Ty. I don’t want to be so old that I can’t pick up my grandchildren, and you can’t carry them around the pack lands on your back,’ I say.

‘I know,’ he says, pulling himself back into my mind.

His melancholy stays with me for the rest of the trip. I begin going through the list of reasons why I think Justine is the right person to take as a chosen mate. As soon as I come to ‘compatible’, Quirin’s voice booms in my head as if he were sitting right next to me.

‘Compatible? Is that how you want to spend your life, Henry? With someone who you’re compatible with? Don’t you want passion, fire, excitement, someone who challenges you?’

Of course, the answer to all those questions is yes. I want all of that. I want what I see with Alpha Warren, Connor, Quirin, even with my father and Farrah, but I’ve waited over fifteen years and that woman hasn’t come into my life.

I sigh, shaking off those feelings as I enter the boundary of Justine’s pack. I say hello to the gate guard and head to the packhouse. Alpha Patrick and Justine are outside waiting for me.

“Hello, Alpha Patrick,” I say before turning to Justine. “Hello, Justine.

“Welcome, Alpha Henry. I understand that you and Justine will be returning to your pack indefinitely,” Alpha Patrick says.

I look at Justine. “I thought we’d start with a week and see how it goes. What do you think, Justine?”

“I think that’s a great idea. I’ve already packed my things for an extended time away. We can leave tomorrow if you’re ready.”

“I’d like that. I need to make a stop by the Warrior Academy on our way home, so I’d like to leave early if that’s okay with you.”

Why does this feel like a business transaction rather than me discussing the future with my potential mate?

“I can be ready whenever you are,” she says, amenably.

I grab my overnight bag out of the car and walk over to give Justine a kiss. It’s a sweet, gentle kiss. She doesn’t wrap her arms around my neck or pull me to her like she’s desperate for me. I don’t deepen the kiss, not feeling desperate to taste her after a month away from her. Perhaps that will change once I mark her.

“May I ask what business takes you to the Warrior Academy?” Alpha Patrick asks.

“An alliance agreement that I am very negligent in signing. You know Alpha Connor, the Alpha from my neighboring pack?” I ask.

“Of course,” he says as I wrap an arm around Justine and walk her back inside with me.

“This is his brother, Alpha Yorick. He and his mate have taken over her father’s pack as well as the neighboring pack that Quirin overthrew.”

“Your brother’s reputation is quite ... violent.”

I smile. “Quirin is only deadly when you threaten the ones he loves. Alpha Christer made the mistake of threatening Kennedy, and Quirin made sure that the rest of the world would know what happens to anyone who threatens his mate.”

“Most Alphas would kill someone who threatened their mate. From what I heard, Alpha Christer was tortured before he was killed.”

“As I said, Quirin is only deadly when you threaten the ones he loves,” I say again. You can’t really explain Quirin to someone who has never met him. I love the man. From the time we were twelve and thirteen, we’ve been brothers. He will always be my brother. But even I was startled by the level of psychotic craziness I saw in Quirin when he went after Christer. Thankfully, between Alpha Warren and I, we were able to keep him calm and get him to the one person who can soothe his soul. Kennedy.

I glance at Justine. I wonder if she would be able to soothe my soul like that. I wonder if, when something terrible happens in my life, she will be my safe harbor, my place of peace.

She turns and looks at me, smiling up at me. I force a smile back, not feeling at all confident that she would be. She’s calm, pleasant, and kind, all traits of a good Luna. But will those same traits make her a good mate to me?

I just don’t know.

That night, I walk Justine to her room and when she invites me in, I make love to her. It’s sweet and gentle and, if I’m honest, a bit boring. I make her come, then pull out and spray my cum over her stomach. Then I hold her until she falls asleep before returning to my own room.

‘Is that the best we can hope for?’ Tyrus asks as I lay in my bed.

‘She’ll make a good Luna,’ I say defensively.

‘She’ll probably make a good mother too, but what about us, Henry. Will she and her wolf be good mates for us?’

‘If she’s a good Luna and a good mother to our pups, that will have to be enough, Ty,’ I say.

He sighs, pulling back into my mind again. I lay there, staring at the ceiling for a long time. My decision isn’t made, not completely. But the reality is, there is no one else. This is the best that I can hope for, so it has to be enough.

The next morning, after a quick breakfast, I pack Justine into the car and head to the Academy.

“Tell me again why we’re stopping at the Academy, Henry?” she asks.

“I am very delayed in signing an alliance agreement with Yorick and Cyra Teymoori-Hill. This won’t take long and it will give me a chance to meet their new pup and to introduce you to them. We’ll be in and out quickly,” I say.

Famous last words.