Chapter 07- Feelings

Being the President’s daughter is a mess but what happened last night is the real definition of a mess. After Major. Sullivan leaves me at the backseat, he droves his car back to the presidential home and he didn’t talk to me again.

It’s like I am invisible to him. His restraints but whatever we have but who cares at all? I want him. I want my own bodyguard and he clearly told me that he wants me too.

“ Where is Major. Sullivan?” my brows creased because another bodyguard opens the door for me. I have a schedule for a photoshoot today. He points his finger to the driver seat, and there I saw him, gripping the steering wheel while his eyes are looking up front.

It’s a first time that he will be the driver. Was he regretting what happened that he’s avoiding me right now?

I’ve knocked on his window and he lazily opened it. “ Why are you the one driving?” the bitter drips of my own words didn’t escape my voice. It’s a translation for, why isn’t he sitting at the back like how it used to be.

He seriously look at me before licking his bottom lip and flashes of last night’s kisses entered my mind. “ It’s better this way, madam.”

There it is. The formality of his words. It’s like everything goes to normal and that he’s treating me like I am just his job.

Because of anger, I’ll let him deal with whatever thought that he have in his mind. I’ve ride the backseat alone. He’s watching me from the rear view but I only crossed my legs and avoid his gaze.

Better this way, my ass. He’s thinking too much and being bothered by useless things. But wasn’t I am too? I’ve think about it, too many times actually. The moment that I’ve let him kiss me is the moment that I’ve given up all of those restrictions. Fuck, protocol. I’m too attracted with him and his self-control is bruising my ego.

“ Don’t come inside. I don’t need you there.”

Shocked at my sudden anger, he stilled at the entrance of the studio area. Two can play this game. I am not the one who will beg for him to play this game for me. Without looking back, I’ve entered the studio and greets the staff.

“ Madam! You look beautiful today.”

One of the gay stylist caress my soft hair and guided me to sit in front of the large vanity mirror. Another one came to do my makeup.

She looks around, looking for something. “ Where’s your bodyguard,madam?” her sweet voice asked and I rolled my eyes because she’s totally into Mr. Sullivan.

“ Why are you asking?” she seems shock because of the roughness of my voice but when the door creaks and the old bodyguard came around, she smiles while looking at him.

Glaring, I looked at Major. Sullivan who didn’t know how to follow simple instructions. Didn’t I just tell him to stay outside? I show my hands to the stylists and abruptly stands up to confront him.

I hissed. “What are you doing here?” his gaze follows the movement of my lips. Then a sudden of flicker of emotions runs across his eyes. He licks his upper lip before he avoid my gaze.

“ I need to see you madam. Protocol.”

He said which makes me feel awkward. There is a sudden thought that cross my mind for a minute but I dissed it away.

“ I am your boss, right?” slowly, I said. Holding his chin and making him look at me. Because his taller than me, I needed to look up for our gaze to come in contact.

He looks confused but he nodded. “ Wait for me outside.” I said in a commanding voice.

He looks at me like I am bluffing but my sharp gaze doesn’t tell him that. He hesitated for a moment before he turned around and walk away. I watch his back and when I’m finished, I decided to go back to my seat.

The stylist are now silent. “ That’s harsh.”

I look at the girl who commented that but the others nudge her and after a while she just bit her lip and stop herself from talking.

That wasn’t harsh. If he wants to do boundaries, then he needed to understand that I don’t want to see him lurking around. He’s hot, I get it and the moment that he claims my lips at the back of his car, I have lost all of my restraints.

It’s his problem that he’s coward. And it’s his fucking self-control.

For the rest of the day, I avoided him and he avoided me too. He walks behind me and talk to me when there is a need to. It was nothing but casual. All of the things that happened today is casual. It’s like we didn’t know each other and the effect of each other’s presence in our body.

Later that night, I thought it’s settled. The only problem that I have is my role of being the President’s daughter and I do not need to have a problem with my lust for my own bodyguard.

We’re distant and cold to each other but the coldness of the night embraces my slender body. Wearing a silky night dress, I’ve decided to feel the chilly night wind in our garden.

The trees are swinging and humming, it looks peaceful. The gardens feel empty, maybe the guards are sleeping or at the back of the house. Slowly walking, I found myself at the swing place in the dark place of the corner of the garden.

Only the light from the moon is reflecting here, it’s peaceful and quiet. Before, father and I used to go here and talk about things. But my feet stop inches away because of the scenery that I saw.

Major. Sullivan is leaning on the tree, he’s smoking and he seems to be in deep thought. My mind splits for a second if I will continue to walk and approach him or should I just leave him at piece.

My mouth gape open as I saw how the smoke envelopes his shadows. His muscular, that’s given that he looks hot but today there seems to be a difference. He looks hot and mysterious. It’s like he’s in the realm of his own thoughts, without much thinking, I took a step forward and sit at the swing, hanging just beside him.

I know that he felt my presence. He’s an officer at the military and he’s good at this. He only looks at me for a second before he continues to exhale the smoke that he’s playing inside of his mouth. The way how his two fingers twisted at the thin material looks elegant.

Because I am sitting and his leaning on the tree, I needed to tilt my head so I can see him clearly. Thoughts are infiltrating my mind and I demand answers. Without thinking, my mouth opened for the questions that are bothering me.

“Why are you controlling yourself too much?” .

He scoffs and looked for me for a second before his gaze landed in front. The fine line in his forehead is creasing, it’s like he’s weighing his words.

The chilly wind combined with the silence of the night fills our lack of words. And I was just there, waiting for his answers but he didn’t give me anything.

“Don’t you like me?” I want to bit my lips because of blatant that question is. Another gaze from his deep eyes, and I watched as he drops the cigarette in the floor, stepping on it like he pours all of his thoughts at that movement.

Suddenly, his eyes returned to my questioning gaze. “You’re young-“

“And you’re not that old either,” I pointed out. He nodded and close his eyes, agreeing for what I said. He’s only 27 and the 6 years gap is not that much.

He exhales for a moment before he continues. “You’re the president’s daughter. A job for me to protect.”

His voice is serious but hesitant, it’s like what he said is something that he’s not sure of. Something that bother’s him also.

I push my feet on the ground to move the swing. “That’s right,” I’ve pointed out. He follows my movement until his hand settles on the chain of the swing, stopping it from moving.

“We can’t feel this,” he said and I nodded once again. Does he think that I didn’t think of all of these things?

My eyes widens with a realization. “ What are you feeling?” faking my shock, I look at his face. His eyes darkens until it moves downward, right on the bulge in his pants.

Awkwardly, I laughed. So that’s what he meant.

“ This also.”

I thought he was going to do something, but when he pulls me up and snatch my hand to place it at his racing heart, my mind went blank.

His eyes pierce through my soul and just like how the cold wind of the night send shivers down my spine, his words make me crumble too.