Chapter 8- This Can't Happen Again

For a fleeting moment, Amberleigh felt the brush of Grayson’s lips against hers. But it was over so quickly, she almost believed she had imagined it. If not for the tingling against her lips or the look on the billionaire’s face as it turned from desire to regret, it would have felt like a dream. Grayson pulled back quickly and put some space between his soaked body and hers. It was equal parts relief and disappointment.

                “I’m sorry. I got carried away. It was just meant to have fun, but I crossed the line. This day has been so fucked up. I apologize and it won’t happen again.”

                “It’s not entirely your fault. And I would have kissed you back,” she confessed.

                He ran a hand through his thick hair, “Leo loves you and you love him. You’re both good for each other and happy together. I fucked things up between us beyond repair. And neither of us are going to betray him like that. No matter what feelings may still linger between us. He’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve it.  Whatever we had is done.”

                “I agree.  This can’t happen again. It’s over.”

                “Let me wash my hair and I’ll get out of yours,” he smiled lightly at his bad play on words, “and I’ll meet you back in the other room when you’re finished.”

                Amber nodded. There was really nothing left to say. She gave the billionaire a bit of space to wash his hair as she stood by the shower, dripping rivets of water onto the concrete floor. The ugly ass cross-eyed reindeer on her sweater looked like he was crying. And Amber felt like doing the same fucking thing.

 She was quiet but her brain was screaming. What the fuck did you just do? How could you almost kiss him while Leo fought for his life in the other room? She was like the worst fucking person on this messed up planet. Sure, she’d allowed Grayson to kiss her back in the warehouse, but that had been different. They both were sure they were only seconds away from death then. Now there was no fucking excuse.

But she wasn’t going to lie to herself or Grayson and deny there were no lingering feelings left between them. Even Leo had understood this and called out Amber’s bluff just before they had left for Paris. He’d told her it was okay that she still loved his friend and feelings couldn’t just be turned off like a switch. Of course, back then, Grayson had made it easier to believe the lie that she hated him by the way he treated her.  Now she just felt worse knowing his reasoning behind treating her so badly.

Grayson had been trying to push her away to make her hate him. He’d been trying to protect her all along. Courtney was blackmailing him for his money and all that power that came along with being his wife. If she even suspected that Amber could be a threat to that, no doubt something bad would happen to Amber. A nasty “little accident” like poor Adam.

 And Grayson had also been trying to protect their child by not naming the child in his revised will. He didn’t want the Van Tessins to know about the baby. Money was a powerful motivator and the Van Tessins wouldn’t lose any sleep at night to put a hit out on a pregnant whore to keep the rightful Godwin heir from ever being born. Hell, they had no moral issues with killing off the brother’s whom they had watched grow up, so killing one whore and her unborn baby wouldn’t mean anything to their cold hearts.

Amber was able to keep the stinging in her eyes at bay until Grayson left the bathroom. She made sure he was alright to make it back to the exam room alone. She hadn’t even enjoyed the view of him drying then dressing in some grey sweats and a dark long-sleeved shirt with that famous check mark across the chest. Her Ex assured her he was fine to make it on his own. The final look he gave her spoke volumes, what they had nearly done in this room would stay behind. It was over and done with. They were over and done with. Whatever they had been for that short time was now just a bittersweet memory.

Amber was glad that she was alone. The shower was a great fucking place to cry after all. The warm water mingled with her tears and disappeared down the drain. Hid the evidence of her weakness and betraying Leo. Even worse, she knew Leo would forgive her as easy as taking a breath. He wouldn’t hold it against her for almost kissing Grayson after everything they had gone through. But that wasn’t the only reason she sobbed in the shower. Because it went so much deeper than the physical stuff, than just wanting Grayson to kiss her, Amber was still hopelessly in love with the billionaire.

His smile still had the power to make her heart beat faster. His body still had the power to make her wet between the knees and crave his touch. It had been so much easier to pretend he no longer held such power over her when she was in Paris in Leo’s arms and Grayson had been saying mean things to her.  But this was the reality she now had to face. That she loved Grayson and always would. But she also loved Leo.  

Amber would just have to figure out how to make this new reality work. She had made a commitment to Leo and loved him with all her heart. She would always love Grayson, the father of her child, but she wouldn’t be with him again. In time, her feelings for him would fade and she would go from being in love with him to just loving the billionaire. She and Leo would make a nice and happy life together. They would co-parent the baby with Grayson and eventually adjust to this new dynamic. Grayson would divorce that lying killer cunt and eventually find someone deserving of him. Now the thought of him being with another woman he actually loved, hurt Amber, but in time that sting would ease to nothing. She had Leo. She loved him and he loved her. They were happy together. End of fucking story.