Relief

I had woken up from a nightmare. It was the third night it happened and the third night since I had made my decision. These nightmares were new. In those dreams, I saw myself handing a syringe to the doctor. He injected it into Josie's arm, and then she started dying, turning into dust… Every time I woke up screaming.

It was obvious what triggered those dreams. I kept telling myself that Josie would die if we didn't treat her. That argument seemed to be acknowledged and accepted by every part of me. Then there was a matter of choosing the right gene combination. Perhaps the version that had given worse results in our trials would have turned out to be more suitable for Josie's young body. Perhaps there were other aspects I should have thought about before making the final call.

All the what-ifs were killing me. Surely, I hadn't made this decision alone. Josie's doctors had accepted the treatment and agreed with my choice. I kept hearing that this was the only reasonable way, but that