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50-Peace
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The Search 1-Lonely.
Ashlynn POV. It's you and your world and I'm stuck in the middle, I got the edge of the knife and it hurt just a little. It's not like I asked for this, no one would ever ask for this, but I'm lonely, and it's a lonely night, the loneliest night of my life, okay I'm done using song lyrics to describe what's going on with me.I'm lonely, that's the thing that's killing me on the inside, I'm lonely, there's a big hole in my chest, a feeling of missing something or someone. My soul isn't complete, there's a big piece of me gone, or maybe I haven't found it yet, I feel the need to go out there and search for my lost piece, I can't take this pain, this emptiness. I feel the need to cry, to mourn, to yell and scream, but all of those won't help my broken heart, what I need is someone to love, all wolves would look for their mate, for someone to lay over their shoulder and feel loved. That's what we are wolves, but we are souls who were broken in half, we're never complete until we find ou
The Search 2-Amber.
Ashlynn POV. When I made it to the club, I parked my car and got out, moving toward the door, the bouncer is my friend, he was my friend since I was much younger, since the first time I came over to the club, I used to only come to the littles nights. But now I come over on regular basis, he smiled when he saw me, and I stopped to say my hellos."Hey Bennie," I say with a smile. "Miss Ash, happy to see you again, you feeling better?" he asks me, last time I came over, I was in my little space, I was all alone, and I happened to trip and scratch my knee. "Yeah, I'm all good," I say, the scratch healed before I made it home, but the little side of me was hurt and in pain, she wanted a caregiver of her own, but I'm all alone."That's good, tonight is a sub night, you sure you want to go in?" he asks me, I thought it was a neutral night, no real events, but I needed the night out, I won't object to any event they have ready. "That's fine," I say ready to get in, but Bennie stopped me
The Search 3-Love.
Ashlynn POV. I'm in love, I'm in love, I finally found someone who'd love me for who I'm, well not who I'm she doesn't know I'm a little, we've been trying something else, I got to the club more and more often, we get to play together there, I was too worried about telling my family about her, they wouldn't get it. "Ashlynn, wanna play?" Kiara asks me, I shake my head no, I don't want to go little, I'm fighting my little side, I'm trying my best to avoid slipping."No, I'm not feeling little," I tell her, she leaves me be whenever I tell her that I'm not feeling little to join her in her games. "But you can colour even if you're not little," she says, but colouring would make me slip. "No, I don't feel like it," I tell her hoping she'd get lost but she doesn't, she keeps on whining about playing alone."Come on Ashlynn, you never home anymore, and you never play with me!" she whines, there's no leaving without playing with Kiara, I don't want her to get upset and cry either, I'm n
The Search 4-Changes.
Ashlynn POV. "I want you to move in," she tells me, I agreed with that, I want to move in with her, I'd love to be with her and not alone the whole time, but I also had to inform my family about moving out. I was afraid of their reaction, what if they don't allow me to go, I'm a strong dominant wolf, as I'm an adult, but I'm worried about the two alpha reactions."I live with my family," I tell her, I do live with my family right now, I wasn't ready to move out. "You are a big girl, well you are practically a little girl and submissive, but that still counts as big girl you should be able to move in with me," she says, I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but she only knows the little side of me, the one that likes to start new adventures and tried to submit to her, she never met the big Ashlynn or my dominant side."I don't know if I should do this yet, isn't it too early?" I ask her, we've only known each other for a couple of months now, she's not the one that was created for me, she
The Search 5-Toy.
Ashlynn POV. I've been here for a month, it's only one month, but it's hell, I'm living in hell, Amber changed, it started soon after I moved in with her, she took my phone away, she locked me in, she did things...I don't want to mention any more of that, I'm stronger than my injuries, I'm stronger than the bruises she leaves over me my body, she always says she didn't hit me that bad, since my bruises would disappear right away, but I'm a wolf, it's the reason I'm healing real quick.But I'm done being treated as a toy, I'm done being a little who's abused, she has ruined me, ruined my little side, she's not someone I want to stay with, a month was more than enough, she terrorized me, she scared me, she told me I could never leave. But guess what happened today, this morning my wolf has decided that enough and is enough, we aren't hiding anymore, we're done, I'm a dominant wolf and not some helpless girl."Ashlynn, where are you little bitch?" she yells, but the toy she's calling i
The Search 6-Insomnia
Ashlynn POV. "What happened to your mommy?" Kiara asks me, she's sleeping in my room tonight, her daddy, aka my brother, is out on patrols for the night, we haven't had a sleepover in a while now. "We broke up," I explain to her, even after all that time, her little space still isn't very familiar with her wolf side or our rules. "Why broke up?" she asks me. "She's not my mate Kiara, you know Jacob explained to you what mates are," I remind her. "Jacob is my mate," she says all excited, I just smile at her, she's lucky to have such a good mate and daddy, I wonder if I'd ever find my mate, if he or she is a human, then I don't want them, I think to myself with a shake to my head, I do not want any human relation, none! "And she wasn't mine, can you keep it a secret?" I ask her, I don't want my family to know, I'm a big girl, I'm a dominant wolf, I should be able to protect myself, I should be able to kick anyone's bum, I should've but I couldn't I was weak. "Why secret?" she ask
The Search 7-Out, again
Ashlynn POV. I can't sleep, I can't sleep, grr, I growled at myself, I want to sleep, why can't I sleep, I need the rest, I need to have some time where I wouldn't be thinking about her, about things, about my mate being MIA so far, why can't my mate just show up, I can use to be held by the one who is made for me, my wolf mate, my one and only. I groaned and left the bed this time, I looked at the time, it was four am, I haven't had any second of sleep tonight, the doctor said my blood work was clean thankfully, there was no reason for me not falling asleep, or maybe it's the lack of shifting that keeping me awake. But my fear of going feral once I shift, has me sticking to my human form, I went down the stairs, deciding to see if anyone is up or around, maybe get some water. I saw some of the patrol enforcers in the kitchen along with mom, I gave everyone a smile and said my good mornings. "Good morning, Ash, isn't it a bit early for you?" mom asks me, it's only four am. "I dec
The Search 8-Bonefire
Ashlynn POV. The day was getting better, I was starting to feel better now, I'm going over to Kitty's place, the best place to ever be! And the hot guys training without a shirt is a big plus, me and Micah love to watch them over some hot chocolate, while Jordan would yell at the two of us to get inside and stop looking. "Hey, kiki," I say sitting next to my bestie, she wasn't feeling little today, which is rare for her. "Hey, love, what's up?" she answers me. "I'm going to a bonfire today, want to join?" I ask her, she looks at me and nods. "I'll talk to Jacob about it," she says, they are like the worse kind of boyfriend and girlfriend, they act like a married couple who can't be more than three feet apart. "Sure," I say, wherever she goes he goes, it's a mate thing, a thing I never had before. After breakfast, I went back to my room, I packed my things to get to Jordan's place, this time I was sure once I get there I'd be happy and well treated, nothing would hurt me there,
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