Chapter 9

Walking to school on Monday morning and the air feels cold on my face, I can feel the tip of my nose turning pink. I’ve bundled the children up in layer upon layer of clothes, they look like little marshmallows waddling along. We’re running late this morning; however, we manage to step into the playground as the bell goes. I give Joshua and Rosie kisses, and they run off to class. I walk round the back of the school to drop Harry off at pre school and notice Daniel walking by. “Morning Daniel” I call out, he turns to look at me and gives me a smile that melts my heart, “Morning Alice” he replies. I hand Harry his lunchbox and give him a kiss and a cuddle before he disappears inside his school, holding hands with his key worker.

To my surprise Daniel has waited outside the gate for me, “are you walking home?” he asks, “I am, wish we’d driven today though, it’s freezing!” I say through chattering teeth. “Can I walk with you?” he asks, “yes of course, do you live near me?”, “surprisingly close” he laughs. As we walk back, nerves start to consume me. I’ve never felt this way around anyone before, how does he do this to me?

As we walk back, we chatter about the girls and how sweet their friendship is and arrange a playdate for Rosie to go to Izzy’s after school on Friday this week. Daniel is very easy to talk to, although my nerves are through the roof, I feel comfortable with him, as if I could spill my deepest, darkest secrets (just not the one about me having a huge crush on him).It’s over a mile walk from school to home and usually it feels like it takes forever, but today, consumed deep in conversation, the time has flown by. We’re nearly at my house when Daniel says, “this is me”. What! He lives right in front of my house, how have I never seen him before?

“You weren’t wrong” I say “you are surprisingly close, I can’t believe we’ve never seen each other before”

“Yeah, if I step out of my back gate and go through the little passageway it takes me straight to your front door. It was nice walking back with you, I need to get to work now”

“What is it that you do?” I ask, still stunned by how close Daniel lives to me

“I’m head chef at The White Hart pub in town. I mainly work when Izzy’s at school but if I have to do night’s then my mum pops in to look after her”.

“That’s nice, thanks for walking with me, I’ll see you later”

Daniel grabs his bike that sits out the front of his house and bikes off, “Bye” he calls out,

“Bye”. Don’t look at his bum, don’t look at his bum, I think to myself. Fuck it, I look at his bum…Shit, he looked round! I put my hand up to wave and feel my face turning crimson.

                                                                       *

I step into my house feeling completely humiliated. Liana will get a kick out of my mishap, I’m sure. I pick up the post that is laying on the mat and I’m greeted by Penelope’s wet nose in my face as I’m bent over. I’m holding a large brown envelope and suddenly I feel excited, it’s taken far too long, but I know exactly what this is. I tear open the envelope and pull out the letter:

‘In the Family court at BURY ST. EDMUNDS

Between                            Alice Baker

and                                   Dylan Baker

…………………………it is hereby certified that the said decree was made final and absolute and that the said marriage was thereby dissolved…’

“Yes!” I jump up in the air and immediately pull out my phone to message, Liana, my mum and my sisters,

‘I’m divorced!!!!!!’

                                                                         *

Over the next few days, Daniel and I walk to and from school together. Rosie and Izzy are inseparable and I’m enjoying Daniels company. My crush feels more than a silly schoolgirl crush now and I’m starting to get real feelings for him. We seem to be becoming good friends, and I wonder if that’s all we’ll ever be. We have a lot in common (mainly that we’re both superhero nerds). Daniel told me that he’s started watching a TV series on the Flash and thinks I’ll like it, “maybe we could watch it together sometime?” he says and my heart flutters, “My mum is having Izzy overnight at hers this weekend if you’re free?”.

My heart leaps, alone time, watching TV in the dark with Daniel, eek! Just as I go to reply I remember its Liana’s birthday this weekend and she’s having a spa party, “I’m meant to be going to Liana’s on Saturday night for her birthday, we’re getting massages but it’s my weekend with the children, so I doubt I’ll be able to go”.

“I’ll watch them for you, if you like”

“Really?”

“Yeah, not a problem, they know me and they’re great, only if you’re happy for me to, that is?”

Before I have chance to reply Rosie pipes up “oh yes please mummy, it will be fun”

“If you’re really sure, that will be lovely, thank you. I won’t be long”

“Be as long as you like, it’s honestly fine, or I wouldn’t have offered. What are friends for”

I smile up at Daniel but ouch that ‘friends’ comment hurt. Like a knife to my heart.

                                                                        *

Friday comes around quickly. I’ve spent most of the week baking and decorating cakes for all occasions. My business has picked up quickly since I’ve been sharing pictures on my website again. I love having a job that I’m passionate about and let’s my creativity flow.

Rosie is excited to be having a play date with Izzy and I give her a kiss as we reach Daniels house, “I’ll give her dinner” he calls out “do you fancy picking her up at six?”

“Yeah, that’s great thanks Daniel”.

“The back gate will be unlocked so just come straight in” he waves us off.

Me and the boys head home to get Penelope so we can go for a walk. “Can we get a maccy’s please mum” asks Joshua, “Mum? What happened to calling me Mummy? You’re growing up way too fast, yeah go on then, let’s get a maccy’s as a treat, as Rosie is having dinner with her friend”

We walk across the field; the boys are running around with Penelope. The nights are starting to get dark already, “Don’t go too far ahead” I call out, the boys turn back and wave to me.

I’m starting to loathe where we live, it’s dim and gloomy and only half the streetlights work, it’s like no one cares about this place and it’s been forgotten about. I love my children and my friends and family. I love that I have a successful business, but I’m worried I’m starting to fall into depression, I’ve noticed my mood changing recently.

We get to the restaurant and order our food, Penelope sits patiently outside while we eat, I can see her through the window, and she happily chews her ball.

                                                                         *

The walk home is even darker, I turn on Penelope’s LED collar so we can see her running across the field. I hold the boy’s hands and Joshua is in charge of the torch. I can feel the boys squeezing my hands tighter, “Not far now guys” I try to reassure them but even I feel scared.

 As we get closer to home, I can hear music booming from someone’s house.

“It’s Tay Tay mummy” says Harry, I listen harder, “It is Tay Tay”. I can hear Taylor Swifts shake it off blasting from speakers nearby. The closer we get to Daniels house I realise it’s coming from there. I open his back gate and step inside. I can see Rosie and Izzy jumping up and down in the living room screaming “shake it off, shake it off” and there’s Daniel dancing in the kitchen, with a tea towel hanging out of his back jeans pocket as he’s washing up. I laugh at the sight of them all.

“Having fun” I shout out as I stick my head through the doorway “Mummy!” Rosie runs and gives me a hug. Daniel turns round and his cheeks flush red, he quickly turns the music down, “Sorry I didn’t realise the time” he says “Rosie ate everything I put on her plate, I can’t believe such a tiny human can eat so much!”

“She’s a beast” I laugh, “Thank you so much for having her, I hope she was good?” “She’s been great. What time do you need me tomorrow?"

“Is seven, ok?”

“Perfect, see you then”

“Thank you for having me” Rosie cries out and jumps into Daniels arms

“Anytime poppet”.