LOGINHarper He's nodding at the class, "Hey, everyone, glad to be back in the States, looking forward to diving in," voice smooth with that light accent, and as he walks down the aisle to his seat I blink because wait, is he coming this way? My row? My back straightens before I even think about it, heart already pounding like crazy, because of course he would notice me, right? It's been years but still. Yuto and I were not strangers back then. We sat together at lunch sometimes. We walked home a few times. We shared stupid middle school secrets that felt huge at the time. He knew things about me no one else did.So obviously he will see me.Obviously he will stop.Maybe laugh in surprise. Maybe say my name like he cannot believe it."Harper? No way!"Maybe we hug awkwardly in the aisle while everyone stares.Maybe we joke about how weird it is we ended up in the same law program.My brain runs through the scene so fast it almost feels real already.He gets closer.Closer.My chest is tigh
HarperElias is all over me this morning, hovering like a damn helicopter while I try to shove some cereal down my throat without puking it back up, and he's going on and on about how today is the big day, like I don't know, like I haven't been counting down the seconds since that hospital visit confirmed the stupid pregnancy. "Harper, baby, you ready? We're gonna get you enrolled, make it official, lawyer mom in the making," he says, grinning ear to ear as he grabs my bag and slings it over his shoulder like he's my personal butler or something, and I just roll my eyes because yeah, sure, let's pretend this is all sunshine and rainbows when I can feel that light spotting in my underwear again, warm and sticky, but screw it, I'm not letting that ruin this, not today, I finally get to step into that school and claim my spot, so I wipe it away in the bathroom quick and tell myself it's nothing, probably just stress or whatever, focus on the win, Harper, focus.Elias keeps pacing around
Harper Elias explodes. “How dare you suggest killing my child? That’s my son or daughter in there!” He’s yelling so loud the walls shake. The doctor tries to explain but Elias is in his face, “You’re not touching her or the baby, I’ll sue this whole hospital!” I’m pissed now, stepping between them, voice cracking but sharp. “Are you that selfish, Elias? Ready to let me die for this thing? You’d rather have a dead wife and no baby than lose your precious seed?” He spins on me, eyes wild and confused, screaming, “You promised me a family! You promised!” His hands are around my throat, squeezing, and I’m gasping, clawing at his wrists, and everything goes black…. I wake up choking on air, sitting bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring down my back. Elias is already shaking me, “Harper, hey, hey, you were having a nightmare, breathe.” I shove him off hard, still gasping, heart hammering. “Yeah, no shit, genius. You were choking me in it.” He looks hurt for a second but then he pulls me aga
Harper Elias explodes. “How dare you suggest killing my child? That’s my son or daughter in there!” He’s yelling so loud the walls shake. The doctor tries to explain but Elias is in his face, “You’re not touching her or the baby, I’ll sue this whole hospital!” I’m pissed now, stepping between them, voice cracking but sharp. “Are you that selfish, Elias? Ready to let me die for this thing? You’d rather have a dead wife and no baby than lose your precious seed?” He spins on me, eyes wild and confused, screaming, “You promised me a family! You promised!” His hands are around my throat, squeezing, and I’m gasping, clawing at his wrists, and everything goes black…. I wake up choking on air, sitting bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring down my back. Elias is already shaking me, “Harper, hey, hey, you were having a nightmare, breathe.” I shove him off hard, still gasping, heart hammering. “Yeah, no shit, genius. You were choking me in it.” He looks hurt for a second but then he pulls me aga
Harper I’m hunched over the toilet again, puking my guts out for the fourth morning straight, and Elias is right there in the doorway with this stupid grin splitting his face like he just won the damn lottery. “Harper, you’re pregnant,” he says, all proud and loud like he’s announcing it to the whole neighborhood. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and glare up at him. “Shut the fuck up, Elias, it’s probably that nasty takeout you brought home last night. Stop looking at me like I’m some prize cow.”He doesn’t listen, of course he doesn’t, he just laughs that deep laugh and disappears for twenty minutes, comes back slamming the front door with a plastic bag swinging from his hand. “Bought every test they had, three brands, the expensive ones too. Pee on all of them right now.” I snatch the bag from him and mutter, “You’re ridiculous, you know that? Acting like you’re about to be father of the year when I feel like death.” But I do it anyway because my period is two weeks late a
Harper He props up on an elbow, still smiling. “Already called the admissions office. We’re going in an hour. Get cleaned up.”I drag myself to the shower. My legs feel like jelly. I scrub my skin hard. I try to wash him off me completely. It does not work. Nothing ever works.We drive to the university building. My whole body buzzes. Nerves mix with hope and anger. Everything feels tangled together. Elias parks the car. He grabs my hand like we are a normal happy couple. We walk inside. The administrator is a middle-aged woman. She wears glasses. She looks at both of us and gives a polite smile.“Good morning. How can I help you today?”I step forward fast before Elias can open his mouth. “I am here to enroll. Full-time. I want to start the program.”She blinks. She looks at Elias then back at me. “And you are…?”“His wife,” I say in a flat voice.Elias chuckles softly. “She is my wife. Harper. Please put that on record.”The woman’s eyebrows go up high. “Oh. I… I am sorry. You look
~Harper~I’m in the darkroom trying to lose myself in developing a roll of film I shot from the rooftop weeks ago, back when things felt almost normal, when the door to the penthouse slams so hard the walls shake and footsteps stomp straight toward me.I step out fast, heart already racing, and the
~Harper~I’m curled up on the couch pretending to scroll through art blogs on the tablet Elias gave me, but really I’m listening to every word because Aurora’s voice is blasting through the speaker on his phone, high and demanding like she owns the place, and he didn’t even bother taking the call i
~Elias~I can’t stop watching the feeds and it’s driving me fucking insane because every time I tell myself I’ll give her space I end up pulling up the cameras anyway, flipping through bedroom, bathroom, darkroom, kitchen, living room, like some pathetic addict who knows the high is gonna wreck him
~Elias~I know she’s breaking away from me again because I feel it every time she looks at me now, that mix of hate and fear that’s sharper than before, like the file and Aurora’s call cracked something I can’t glue back together, and it’s eating at me because I need her to need me, to want me, eve







