3

VALERIA

I was pacing, I couldn't stop. I was still in shock. I couldn't believe what happened.

What a way to make a first impression, V.

I screamed for the umpteenth time.

"It wasn't so bad," Nicole repeated for the 7th time. She was leaning on the toilet door to avoid anyone from coming in.

"It was! It was!" I shouted. "I almost lost my job. If not for Mr. Ben, I would have lost my job. How would I have paid for Nessa's treatments?" I started breathing heavily, my heart was pounding in my chest. I leaned on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. This was really messed up.

Nicole walked towards me and rubbed my shoulders which really seemed to help in that situation.

"Relax, babe. You didn't lose your job; you are fine."

"Yeah, for now. What if he fires me tomorrow?"

She laughed, "He isn't going to do that. Mr. Ben explained, remember? You said that yourself."

"Still," I whined. "I'm so scared."

She turned me to face her, "Don't be, you're fine," She paused. "Thank you for standing up for me." She smiled.

I smiled back, "You're welcome babe." I turned to the mirror again.

"Mr. Adam is rude. I wasn't expecting that."

She laughed, "I told you, didn't I?"

I looked at her through the mirror and shook my head. Then, my phone lit up, I removed it from my pocket and opened it, and I saw a missed call from Doctor Charles which was weird, and 10 missed calls from Vanessa, which alone shot up my anxiety level.

"You good?" Nicole asked, she noticed the change in my demeanor.

"I hope," I muttered as I dialed Vanessa's number. She didn't pick after 3 tries. My heart started racing. I didn't want to start thinking the worst so, I called the doctor.

"We've been trying to reach you." He said on the first ring.

"I'm so sorry, I was caught up with work." I tried to sound calm. "Is she with you?"

"Yes, and you have to come to the hospital right now." He replied before hanging up. I looked at Nicole, tears welled up my eyes.

"Is something wrong??" She asked worriedly.

"I don't know, I have no idea but I need to leave, the doctor asked me to come right now."

"Go, I'll take your shift."

"But…"

"Just go." She said and I ran out, praying that everything was fine with my baby sister.

***

I counted down from 10 to 1 slowly before walking into the building. Hospitals made me so scared because they reminded me of bad things.

One, they reminded me of how my parents died. They died when I was 22. They were on their way back from a wedding and had a ghastly accident. They made it to the hospital alive but lost so much blood so they died on arrival; they died in my arms.

Two, they reminded me of how my sister discovered that she had leukemia at the age of 16.

Nothing good comes out of being in the hospital, believe me.

I walked into Doctor Charles' office and saw Terrence — my ex-boyfriend — sitting and conversing with him. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you doing here?" I asked calmly.

"Nessa called me, she said she couldn't reach you so she called me to take her to the hospital."

"Oh, thank you so much," I said. I hadn't told Vanessa that we weren't together anymore so it was understandable.

Terrence and I were high school sweethearts but at some point, it felt forced because we kept breaking up and coming back together mainly because of him. It took a lot of introspection to realize that it was completely over so, I had to end it. We were broken up for a month now and I certainly didn't regret it. It just felt like I was holding on to something that was no longer there.

"It is good to see you." He said with a smile. I smiled back then turned to the doctor.

"I'm here, Doc," I said, taking a seat and picking my fingers, a habit I cultivated to reduce my anxiety.

"Vanessa's cancer is worsening." He started. I felt a part of me break. This was the exact thing I was avoiding; the exact thing I didn't want to hear.

"What do you mean?" My voice was shaking. Terrence looked at me with pity.

The doctor looked at him, which Terrence understood was a signal to leave.

"I explained to you 2 years ago, that she has stage 3 cancer. I told you about coming to the hospital regularly for exams and tests, but you didn't." He started.

"I told you doc, I couldn't afford it, I could not," I argued.

"I understand you Valeria, but it has gotten worse. She has stage 4 cancer. I examined her, her platelet count is low, she has anemia, and her liver is swollen. These are a few symptoms of stage 4 cancer. Along the line, the symptoms may worsen and you know what would happen next." He concluded.

I didn't know when tears started falling down my cheek.

"So, what is next?" I asked, I couldn't see the doctor again, he was blurry because my eyes just kept watering. I was very sure I looked pathetic in his eyes.

"A bone marrow transplant." He paused. "She needs to undergo it to replace her bone marrow with healthy cells."

"So, we have to check if you're a match first, then we would begin the surgery instantly."

I sighed because I knew exactly what was coming next. I knew he was going to mention the price to be paid and I honestly didn't want to hear that.

"Valeria, I understand that this is painful for you, considering all that you have been doing. I know you've tried your best, but if you don't do this, we might lose her." He paused and took a deep breath.

"Don't continue, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything again." I said harshly and got up.

"I want to see my sister."

"Alright, you know where she is."

I nodded and turned around, clutching my phone tightly, hoping it would in some way, hold back my tears.

***

"Hey, are you good?" Terrence asked. He was standing beside the door, waiting for me, I presumed.

I fought back the tears with all my might. "Yeah, I am," I said with a gulp.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" He soothed.

"Look, I can't do this right now, I need to see Nessa." I started walking.

"I'll come with."

I ignored him. While walking, I started imagining how she currently looked.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, I took a picture of her before she started losing her hair; so she wouldn't forget how beautiful she looked. Vanessa looked exactly like me, just the younger version. We had the same color of hair and eyes. People usually assumed we were twins but after looking at us clearly, they could pick out the younger one.

I opened my phone and searched for the picture. On seeing it, my heart melted. She was lying in a hospital bed, in severe pains, but she was still able to smile and do the "peace" sign.

I stopped walking and stared at the picture. My eyes welled up again.

"Are you okay?" Terrence asked, he was beside me all along.

"I…I can't…I can't see her Terrence." I choked.

"I can't, I just can't."

"You can, you know you can. You need to see her. You seeing her would make things better for her, you know that." He said.

"I'm scared. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know how she is going to survive. What am I going to do?" I looked at him, weeping.

He pulled me into a hug, "I'm here for you. I promise." He said calmly. "Let us see her, she is waiting for you, I'm sure." He advised as he took my hand gently and guided me into her room.

***

"Have you been crying??" Vanessa laughed. I studied the room, they were a lot of medical equipment around. She had tubes inserted in her too. Her eye circles were more obvious, and she was wearing something that looked like a beanie. She had been wearing it since her hair started falling off. She didn't like seeing herself without hair, she didn't want to be reminded of her predicament. It was too much for her.

Regardless of all these, she still stayed strong and she still tried to make everyone around her laugh which I found really admirable.

"No, I haven't," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Come here." She said with a grunt. I walked up to her and hugged her, trying so hard to not hug her tightly. I could say we hugged for 30 seconds, I honestly didn't want to let her go.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know you and Terrence had broken up for the umpteenth time." She said. I broke the hug and looked behind me, but he wasn't there.

"I told him to leave." She smiled. "So, are you guys done for good now?"

"Yeah, we are."

"I hope so." She said sarcastically and I laughed.

There was a pause. An awkward one. And then, she took my hand and squeezed it tightly. I felt how light and dry my baby sister's hand was, it sent shivers down my spine. I didn't want to lose her.

"I'm so sorry, Val." Her voice was breaking. "It is my fault."

"No, it isn't your fault, don't say that. Don't blame yourself. You didn't cause this. You are going to be fine, I promise you." I tried so hard to convince her.

She started weeping. I hugged her tightly, she had no one else but me; I was going to do everything in my power to ensure that she survived. And by anything, I meant anything.

***

"You know you have work, right?" Vanessa asked, sipping the water beside the bed.

"I can stay here, you know?"

"No, you have to go. I'll be fine." She convinced with a tired smile. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay with her, and I wanted to be at her beck and call, but she was in a hospital, people would certainly attend to her needs.

"Bye then, call me if you need anything." I gave her a light peck.

She smiled,  raised her index and middle fingers together, and placed them close to her lips. My heart melted on seeing that. We both came up with that sign, we agreed that it would be our secret way of saying "I heart you". I returned the sign and she smiled.

When I came out, I didn't see Terrence which was strange. I shrugged and walked to the doctor's office to continue from where we stopped.

"How is she?" He asked as soon as he saw me walk in after knocking.

"Bad joke?" I asked before sitting.

"No, I'm being sincere."

"Ugh, I know. She is fine, she is alive." I responded.

"That's good, I'm glad she was happy to see you."

"Yes, she was," I sniffed. "So, how much is it?"

"I thought you didn't want to hear it."

"Well, I want to now."

He looked at me and sighed, "Look…" He started.

"Doc, just say it, please," I begged. I tried to maintain composure but deep down, I was scared. I was so scared of the figures that would come out of his mouth. I had nothing in my bank account. I didn't have savings anymore. I had nothing to my name, except our family house. There was nothing anymore. Everything went into Nessa's treatments. I bit my bottom lip just thinking of how overwhelming everything was.

"Should I give an estimate instead?" He asked calmly. He noticed how hard I was trying to keep myself in place.

I nodded slowly.

"50 to 70."

"Sorry? 50-70 what?" I asked.

"Thousand dollars." He added.

I couldn't hear anything again, my ears suddenly blocked. I didn't know when my legs took me to the door. I didn't know when I walked out of the hospital's exit, but all I could remember was how I cried on my way out.