Mag-log inMia's POVWhat kind of person kisses someone's ear?Seriously. What kind of person does that?A normal person would kiss your cheek. Or your forehead. Or—if they're feeling bold—your mouth. Those are the options.Who does that?I touch my ear again.Damn him.The water starts to run cold. I turn it off. Step out. Wrap myself in a towel.The mirror is fogged now. I wipe a circle clear with my palm and look at my face again. Better. Cleaner. Still tired, but at least I look like a person now instead of a cautionary tale about mixing champagne and tequila.I should just get dressed. Something simple. Jeans and a sweater. Mom clothes. Amusement park clothes.But my hand is reaching for the makeup bag.Just a little, I tell myself. Just enough to look awake. Just mascara. Just concealer for the dark circles. Just—I'm doing a full face.The realization hits me halfway through blending foundation. I've got primer on. Primer. For an amusement park. Like I'm going to a photoshoot instead of s
Mia's POVThe champagne is making me careless, making me say things that should stay locked in the dark places where I keep my ugliest truths.Kyle doesn't respond right away. The jazz fills the silence—that saxophone again, climbing up into something that sounds like a question."I always look at you," he says finally. Quiet. "Whether you're harsh or kind or anything in between.""I know.""Does that bother you?""Yes.""Why?"Because your eyes do something to me. Because when you look at me I feel like I'm being seen in a way I'm not ready to be seen.I don't say any of that."Because you're very good at it," I say instead. "Looking. You're very good at making people feel like they're the only thing in the room.""Is that a bad thing?""It's a dangerous thing.""Dangerous how?""Kyle." My voice comes out sharper than I intended. "Stop."He glances at me. Brief. Just a flicker of those grey eyes before they return to the road."You're looking at my hair," he says."What?""You keep l
Mia's POVThe car is warm.Too warm, maybe. Or maybe that's just me—the champagne still doing its slow work through my bloodstream, turning everything soft at the edges. Kyle's coat is still wrapped around my shoulders, the collar brushing against my jaw every time I breathe. I should give it back. He must be cold. Just that grey t-shirt between his skin and the October night.I don't move to take it off.The city slides past the windows. Buildings and streetlights and the occasional late-night pedestrian, all of it blurring together into streaks of light and shadow. We've been driving for maybe five minutes. Maybe ten. Time has gone strange again, the way it does when you're tired and drunk and sitting too close to someone who used to be your husband.Kyle's hand moves on the dashboard.I watch it happen in slow motion—his fingers reaching for the stereo, the soft click of a button, and then—Music.Not the classical he was playing before. Not Debussy or Satie or any of those melanch
Mia's POVHe's looking at me with that expression. That one that breaks something inside me every time I see it. The one that makes me want to hit him and hold him and run away all at the same time."I'm just saying that next time," he finishes. "If there is a next time. In the dream or in real life. Call me. Please. Actually call me. And I promise—I swear to you—I will hear you. And I will turn around."The silence stretches again. But it's different now. Softer. Less like a wall and more like a bridge.I wrap my arms around myself. His coat shifting with the movement, the collar brushing against my jaw. I should give it back to him. He must be cold. Just his thin grey t-shirt against the October night.But I don't move to take it off. And he doesn't ask for it."It's late," I say finally. The words inadequate. Meaningless. But something to fill the space."Yes."Kyle's mouth curves. Just barely. That almost-smile that used to drive me crazy when we were married. That still does."To
Mia's POVSomething I could reach out and touch if I wanted to.I don't want to.The cigarette has burned down to almost nothing in my hand. A thin column of ash clinging to the filter, defying gravity, waiting for the slightest movement to fall. I watch it instead of watching him. Easier that way. Safer.The river keeps moving. That's the thing about rivers—they don't care about anniversaries or ex-husbands or all the complicated history that lives between two people standing too close on a cold October night. They just keep going. Forward. Always forward."You're thinking something."Kyle's voice cuts through the quiet. Low. Careful. The way you'd speak to something easily startled.The ash finally falls. A small grey ghost drifting down, disappearing into the darkness below the railing. I watch it go."I have this dream," I hear myself say.The champagne, probably. The champagne and the exhaustion and the strange magic of standing by a river at midnight on a day that used to mean s
Mia's POVThe car stops.Not the gentle deceleration of arriving home—the familiar turn into my building's garage, the echo of tires against concrete, the security light flickering overhead. This is different. The engine dies with a soft sigh, and then there's silence. The particular silence of somewhere that isn't meant for parking.I open my eyes.Water.Through the windshield, past the hood of Kyle's car, past the low concrete barrier, there's water. The Hudson River, black and endless, reflecting the lights of New Jersey like scattered diamonds on velvet. The city skyline rises behind us—I can feel it more than see it, that particular weight of Manhattan at your back, all those millions of lives stacked on top of each other.My head is clearer now. Still heavy, still wrapped in cotton, but the sharp edges of reality are starting to poke through. The nausea has settled into something manageable. My mouth tastes like champagne and regret.The driver's door opens.Cool air rushes in.







