CHAPTER 5

IRIA’S POV

“You are in heat.”

For a second, I just stared at him and then laughed.

“No.” I tried to deny it, when deep down I knew it was the truth.

Kael did not move. “Yes.”

“That’s not funny,” I said. “Say something else.”

“I am not joking.”

I shook my head. “That does not make sense.”

“You are an omega,” he replied. “You were forced into a ritual tied to my power. And now your body is reacting.”

“No,” I said again, louder this time.“That is not what this is.”

“You are flushed,” he said. “Your balance is unstable and your scent has changed.”

“My scent has always been a problem for this pack,” I snapped. “That does not mean this is heat.”

He exhaled slowly. “You can deny it if you want. But your body is not.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, even though the movement made me unsteady. “So what. You plan to lock me in here and stare at me until it passes.”

“I am not staring at you.”

“You are standing in my room.”

“This is my room.”

“That makes it worse.”

He said nothing to that.

There was silence pressed in.

I shifted on the bed and pushed myself farther back against the headboard. “Say it again.”

“What.”

“That word,” I said. “Say it again and tell me you believe it.”

His gaze lifted. “You mean, you are in heat?.”

I swallowed, but my mouth felt dry. My thoughts were  slippery. And somehow his voice made it worse.

“This is humiliating,” I said. “You know that.”

“I know.”

“You could at least look uncomfortable about it.”

“I am uncomfortable,” he replied.

“If this is how uncomfortable looks like on you. Then I'd hate to see you comfortable.*

“Do you want me to lose control,” he asked quietly.

I opened my mouth, then stopped.

“No,” I said. “I want you to stop acting as if this is a lecture.”

He took a step back. Then another.

“There,” I said. “Happy now. You have distance now.”

“Yes.”

“Then why does it feel worse?”

His eyes looked up.

“I did not say that,” I muttered.

“You don't need to,” he replied.

I gripped the blanket beside me in annoyance

“This is your fault,” I said suddenly.

His brows drew together. “Kindly explain.”

“You stood there during that ritual,” I said. “You let them use me.”

“I did not know.”

“Yeah right.”

“It is true.”

“You are the Alpha,” I said. “You’re supposed to know everything.”

“Not everything,” he said.

“Uh-huh and that's just convenient.”

He stepped forward again, then stopped in his tracks. “You are spiraling.”

“Maybe I would not if my body was not betraying me.”

“It is not betrayal,” he said. “It is instinct.”

“I did not ask for instinct.”

“Neither did I.”

I laughed bitterly again. “You do not get to compare this to anything you feel.”

“Do I not?” he asked.

I looked up at him. His shoulders looked stiff. His hands were folded at his sides.

“So you feel it,” I said slowly.

“Yes.”

“Not sympathy,” I pressed. “Or obligation.”

“Yes,” he repeated.

“Then stop acting superior.”

“I am trying to keep control.”

“At my expense.”

“No,” he said. “At both of ours.”

I shifted again and sucked in a breath through my teeth. His eyes dropped to my body for a second. Then he turned away.

“Do not move like that,” he said.

“I am sitting down.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do not,” I said. “Explain it to me, Alpha.”

He turned back and let his frustration finally slip through. “Every emotion you feel hits me through the bond. Fear. Anger. Need.”

“Need,” I echoed.

His silence answered that.

“So you do feel it,” I said. “You feel this. And you stand there acting as if I am alone in it.”

“I am not allowed to act on it.”

“Because of the elders.”

“Because of you.”

I blinked. “Me.”

“If I cross that line,” he said, “you will suffer for it later.”

“You do not know that.”

“I do,” he replied. “Power always takes payment.”

I leaned forward before I could stop myself. “Then what am I supposed to do.”

“Breathe,” he said. “And focus.”

“What if I am trying.”

“No you're not. You’re fighting it.”

“Because it feels disgusting.”

“It is not.”

“It is,” I insisted. “I feel exposed. I feel weak.”

“You are not weak.”

“That is easy for you to say.”

He stepped closer. Close enough that I could feel him even without touching.

“You are enduring something no one prepared you for,” he said. “And that is not weakness.”

“Don’t try to sound kind,” I said. “It confuses me.”

“Good,” he replied. “Maybe you will stop pushing me away.”

“I don't push,” I said. “You loom.”

His mouth twitched. “Fair point.”

I shifted again, this time deliberately and he stiffened slightly.

“Iria don't,” he warned. “Whatever is going on in your mind. Don't act on it.”

“Why,” I asked softly, almost teasingly. “Because it affects you.”

“Yes.”

“Then maybe you should stop pretending I am the only one losing control.”

He stared at me for a long moment. Then he spoke. “I feel everything. Every spike. Every shift. But it takes effort not to react.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because if I do,” he said, “I won’t be able to stop myself.”

“That sounds like an excuse,” I said.

“It’s the truth.”

Silence.

I moved my hands towards him.

“Kael,” I said.

He looked at me immediately.

“I cannot do this alone.”

“You are not alone.”

“You are standing across the room,” I said.

He took one step forward. Then another.

“We shouldn't be doing this,” he said.

“I know.”

“Iria.”

“I know,” I repeated. “But I need you.”

“Iria,” he said again and I reached for him.

This time, I did not hesitate. His hands caught my arms instantly. He pulled me up and we were inches away from each other's face.

“You do not understand what you are asking for,” he said.

“I do,” I replied. “I am asking you to stop pretending.”

He held me tighter.

“Say it again,” he said.

“I need you.”

That was all it took. He pulled me into him and kissed me hard.