5– Decisions

Lena woke up with tears and a splitting headache.

For hours, she’d cried and cried and cried until she decided that crying would not save her marriage. 

So she decided that perhaps having a conversation with Julian would change his mind. Perhaps if she begged enough, perhaps if she offered him more… he might decide to stay with her.

And so she found herself in the backseat of one of Julian’s car as his driver drove her to his office. 

The farther they drove, the heavier her chest became.

It was a suffocating pressure, one she could no longer sit with in silence. Her fingers curled around her phone before she could stop herself. She dialed the one number she knew would always be answered.

He picked up on the first ring.

“You should be sleeping, Lena. Learn to get that beauty sleep, it’s important,” Leo said, his voice thick with sleep and mild irritation. 

Silence.

“Hello,” Leo said.

Lena’s breathing increased and she could not speak. 

“Lena? Are you there?” Leo’s voice was no longer groggy.

“H-hey…” Lena finally breathed. 

“Hey,” the worry in Leo’s voice was evident. “What’s wrong? Why do you sound so down?”

Lena’s eyes brimmed again, but she did not want to cry in front of Julian’s staff. And she certainly didn’t want her brother hearing her cry over the phone.

“How fast can you… get to me if… that is what I want right now?” she asked, her voice so soft she was barely heard.

There was a pause. 

Lena heard movements on Leo’s end, then a long inhale and exhale. When he spoke again, his voice was filled with the concern of a brother for his sister. 

“Why? Did something happen?” he asked. 

“Just answer me,” Lena murmured.

“I can get to you in hours, but first, I want you to tell me what happened,” Leo insisted.

“I think… I think I might be getting a divorce…” even saying the words made Lena’s throat tighten. She swallowed on nothing. 

Silence.

“You think or you know?” Leo inquired.

“I don’t know, Leo… but he said it to me… he said he wants out,” Lena breathed.

“Your anniversary was barely two days ago, Lena,” it was more a statement than a question. The irritation had returned to Leo’s voice, but this time it was directed towards Julian.

“I know.”

“What happened?” Leo asked.

Lena shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Lena—”

“I don’t know, Leo,” Lena’s voice was harsh. “One moment… my marriage was perfect… and the next… I don’t know…” she whispered, stifling a sniffle. “Can you come? I need you…”

“Of course I can,” Leo assured her, then added, “and that bastard will answer to me when I get there.”

The protectiveness in Leo’s tone made Lena’s chest loosen, just a little. She let out a soft scoff and said, “there is no use for violence. I knew this day would come… I just wished it wouldn’t be too soon…” the last part was murmured so low that Leo could not hear it.

Not like he cared, anyway. He was already running around to put his things together and depart.

The call ended, and Lena stared down at her phone for a moment before slipping it back into her purse.

. . .

The car pulled to a stop in front of Julian’s company. For a fleeting second, doubt crept in. Lena’s hand hovered over the door handle, her resolve wavering.

She crushed it immediately.

Straightening her shoulders, Lena stepped out of the car and walked through the glass doors like she belonged there; because she did. The receptionist offered her a polite smile, one edged with hesitation. Lena could see the question in the receptionist’s eyes, and even suspected that the girl might not let her through, which made her hasten her steps. 

Lena’s poise alone swallowed whatever words the receptionist had been about to say.

The elevator ride to the executive floor felt longer than it actually was. When the doors slid open, Julian’s office was already in sight; and the door was ajar.

Lena’s steps slowed as she approached, her heels barely making a sound against the polished floor. She was a few paces away from the office door when she heard the echo of laughter. The sound was light, carefree and familiar. Her stomach twisted painfully.

She stepped into the office, and the sight which she stumbled into froze her in place.

Julian stood near his desk. And sitting on it, legs crossed, leaning toward him with an intimacy that made Lena’s skin prickle, was the very woman whose face was etched to Lena’s memory: Rose.

For a moment, neither of them noticed Lena had been watching them. 

Julian didn’t notice her. It was as though she didn’t exist at all. And it finally dawned on her in that moment.

As though Julian finally sensed her presence, he looked up and the carefree smile on his face vanished instantly, replaced by a neutral, maybe even professional expression. Lena was not certain, but one thing was for sure, he now looked detached.

“Lena,” he said, like she was an interruption.

“It seems I am interrupting something,” Lena said, not bothering to hide her anger and jealousy for the convenience of others. Her gaze flicked to Rose, who didn’t look embarrassed in the slightest. If anything, she looked amused.

Julian cleared his throat. “We were just talking.” 

“Talking… right…” Lena repeated, nodding slowly. 

An awkward silence stretched between the three of them.

“So you couldn’t even wait until you had my signature on the divorce papers before putting on a public display with your woman?” Lena asked coolly.

Julian intended to approach her, but he barely got a step in when she raised a hand to stop him. 

“Don’t,” she exhaled and dragged a hand through her hair. “I honestly do not know why I thought it wise to come here, but the last thing I need is to hear your excuses, Julian.”

“Lena—”

“You know what? you’re right. This marriage was never real… it was bound to be shattered like this,” Lena breathed, her voice trembling. After a brief moment which she took to steady her breathing, she continued. “But the effort I put into it was real, Julian. The nights I spent wondering if I would ever be enough for you… they were real. The way I bent over backward to make this arrangement, this lie, feel like something worth holding onto was real.”

He opened his mouth to speak.

She stopped him again. “And I realize now that I have been a fool. What was I thinking holding onto a selfish man like you? Why did I even get into this stupid agreement with a thoughtless fool like you? Why did I—”

“You will not speak to my man like that, Lena,” Rose warned.

Lena could not contain the laughter that bubbled up her throat. She laughed for a good minute, and when she stopped, an amused sigh left her. 

“Your man is still my husband, Rose, and I may very well choose not to set him free for you. So you better watch your mouth.” Lena’s voice was kind, but only a fool would not notice the malicious undertone.

“You don’t have to be rude, Lena,” Julian muttered.

“Is it not better to be rude than to be as heartless as you?” Lena ground out.

“Don’t make it seem like this came as a shock. We spoke about this,” Julian argued.

“We spoke, yes. But we never agreed that you would drop that bomb on me the way you did. What we… shared, Julian… you just went and showed the world your woman right after… right after… you had taken from me one more time.”

“I didn’t—”

“What was it that night, Julian? some kind of sick way to say goodbye?” Lena’s voice overlapped between soft and hard as she spoke.

Rose knew in that moment what Lena meant and she was gripped with anger. Though she reined it in, not wanting to attack Julian now that his emotions were still raw. 

“I understand your anger, Lena, but do not attempt to ruin my relationship because you’re unsatisfied about how things unfolded…”

Before Julian could finish speaking, Lena’s hand had crashed hard against his face. “You don’t get to play the victim here!” she yelled, her breathing coming in sharp bursts. “After all I’ve done for you, after I gave everything just to remain under your roof and care for you, this is how you insult me, you bastard?”

“That is enough!” Julian yelled in Lena’s face. “I am done—”

“No, I am done!” she cut him off. “You can go frolic with your runaway fiance, maybe she makes you happy, or maybe she leaves you hanging once again. Bloody fool.”

Lena looked at Rose one last time, watching the smugness falter from her face, then turned back to Julian. “I’ll be at the house tonight. Since you had already made this decision long before you said it to me, I’m sure the papers are ready. Make them available tonight and do not make your presence known.” 

Before either of them could respond, Lena had already stormed out.

By the time she reached the elevator, her entire being was shaking. She realized that she last lost her temper quite too much earlier, and she loathed it. Because Lena valued control and composure above all else. 

Though she felt a little regret, Lena’s heart felt lighter than when she had first arrived at Julian’s company. She felt free. 

. . .

The drive to the airport felt unreal, like Lena was moving through fog. She didn’t cry. She refused to.

Not now.

Not here.

She sat in the arrivals lounge, wrapping her arms around herself as she waited. When she finally spotted Leo walking toward her, concern etched deeply into his features, she finally was able to draw a calming breath. 

“Leo!” she called, waving.

Leo rushed towards Lena, pulling her into a hug without hesitation while he murmured about how much he had missed her. She clung to him for a second longer than necessary before pulling back.

“Why did you take a commercial flight?” Lena asked, a little worried.

“I had not planned to return today and I lent the jet to a friend. Since you needed me, I had no other option. But you owe me,” Leo added, his voice touched by light playfulness. 

“Yes… yes, I know,” Lena said, her voice thankful.

“Let’s get to the car before people start staring,” Leo said.

Lena laughed softly and led him to where the driver was parked and waiting. They settled into the backseat and the driver pulled away.

“So have you been having enough fun with women these days?” Lena said with a soft voice, forcing a smile.

“I was in bed with one when you called this morning,” Leo gloated.

Lena snorted, rolling her eyes as she muttered, “Pathetic.”

Leo didn’t respond immediately. His gaze lingered on Lena’s face, searching. She bit her lip, looking away.

“Lena,” he called out softly.

“Hm?” she answered.

He reached for her hand, hesitating only briefly before holding it firmly. He then said, “You don’t have to make jokes. You can cry if you want.”