Chapter 3

I bought the dress.

While Anna stared at me feeling guilty for having supposedly put me in the situation of facing Vitor. 

She wasn't to blame at all, she didn't make him cheat on me after a three-year relationship with another woman. 

She didn't force him to propose to me in front of all the people who knew us only to leave me on the day of the ceremony. 

She didn't force Vitor to kill me from the inside. 

I came home and for some reason I was too anesthetized to cry. 

My mother was gone, she had already left for her shift at the local hospital and I could have some peace.

I put on some flannel pajamas and threw myself on the couch, closed my eyes for two seconds and tried to think of something other than the depression I was feeling. 

As I fell asleep I dived into a different place from my reality and suddenly in my mind the eyes of this Sam guy were stuck in my subconscious. 

I saw him several times repeating his rudeness inside that diner and yet I didn't hear him. 

I could only see the image of his eyes staring at me in a way that I had never been stared at in my entire life. 

Was there a reason he looked at me like that? Maybe it was because I went out with the worst outfit I had on? I couldn't know, but it still marked me. 

I stood up when I regained consciousness, tried to swallow some crackers and couldn't, and everything seemed to be confused inside my soul. 

But I was thankful for the confusion with that rude jerk, because then I forgot for two seconds about the guy who had dumped me. 

I woke up the next morning and my mother was already up.

- Good morning Beck, what a surprise, will you be up for breakfast? - It was only fair that she should say that, I didn't show up for a long time for our breakfast, I was worried and mulling over my pain. 

- Today I need it! It's the day...

- I already know, the rehearsal dinner! Anna called first thing this morning to make sure you didn't throw the dress in the trash. I hung it up in a safe place to make sure you wouldn't do that. 

- Do you think I'm unbalanced? - I looked into my mother's eyes and she looked back at me, sipping her cup of black coffee. That's it, I need to call somewhere with an appointment to do my hair, what do you intend to do with yours?

- I'm going to Rose's salon, her maid of honor will take care of you! And she has nothing to do with what happened, Rebecca, it's time to talk to people again. 

As you can imagine, my connection with Vitor was very long, years and years of growing up, sharing people and moments, it was hard to disassociate myself from everything we lived through. 

- Anna told me that your date is beautiful, have you seen him? - my mother said, snapping me out of my thoughts again. 

- He's a brute! And a bush animal! - I said grumpily. 

- And how do you know all this? - she said confused. 

- I just know, the guy is so weird that he's living in the forest above, do you think that's acceptable?

- Wow... really there? Anna told me she has a cabin, but she didn't tell me it was there! - I don't know why I felt in my heart that my mother wanted to say more than she did. 

This wasn't the first time in my life, but since my father died this has gotten worse. 

- Mom? You didn't even seem too shocked by the location of the guy's house! 

- It's just that you finally have your breakfast Beck! We're leaving in thirty minutes to fix our hair for tonight. 

My mother didn't like to answer questions. 

I was used to it enough by then, so I didn't question anything anymore.

I didn't question my father's obsession with wolf artifacts and legends, I didn't question why she wore a protective necklace against something that only existed in my books. 

I didn't question how my father died, I didn't question anything. 

I just let life go with me, I let it heal from all the things that were left behind to move on. 

Soon we were ready, I left the house with the feeling that I should go back but still I went. 

The Hall was crowded, everyone surprised to finally see me out of my shell, out of the cave where I had been holed up since the day of the great pain. 

- I don't think I even know how many times that day I heard that phrase pounding in my mind. 

But I did the hair, that was the main goal. 

I even took the risk of putting on a little makeup on my face, took the risk of taking a long shower and putting on high heels that matched the dress.

I put on my father's silver medallion and as I looked in the mirror I saw Sam's face again. 

His athletic brunette type, his extremely light brown eyes, his messy brown hair.

The knocks on the door interrupted my thoughts again.

- Beck? - said my mother as she entered my room with a smile that I hadn't seen in a long time. 

- How's it going? - I turned around a bit. 

- Beautiful! And I see you've put on your father's lace! Why did you do that? - I said curious 

- I saw it on the dressing table and decided to put it on, do you think it's too much? 

- No, it's just curious that you chose this cord among so many others that you preferred... 

- Do you want to tell me something?

- It's just that this silver cord was very important to your father, he believed that this cord could bring you closer to your destiny and give you protection! - she smiled - but your father was a passionate believer in legends that don't exist, so this could be another one of them! - she didn't seem to really believe that. 

- If he believed that he was protecting me and bringing me closer to my destiny, I choose to believe him. I've never seen him lie, so he deserves this vote of confidence from us!

She smiled again and said, "Let's go to the party! It's time!

Did I want to celebrate? No. 

Did I want to squeeze into that emerald green dress? No.

But I felt good for the first time in my skin, it was the first time that being in me wasn't uncomfortable. 

So I put on my best emotional armor and went to one of the most hotly contested parties of the year, and I don't know why, inside of me, all I wanted was to see rude Sam again.