Chapter 4

 I arrived at the door of the event and everything was lit up, beautiful, just like everything Anna has ever planned in her life. 

We were greeted with champagne and Anna's smile as she welcomed us. 

- Rebecca, you look stunning! - she said with open arms.

 

- Shouldn't I say that? Aren't you the bride after all? 

- It doesn't matter! It's perfect! I'll receive the rest of the people and your table is marked in the hall, would you mind looking around, friend? 

- Of course not! Good luck! - I kissed her on the cheek and entered the luxurious main hall of the city. 

It was strange to be in the middle of so many important and happy people. 

I arrived at my appointed place and immediately saw Sam. 

I can't describe in words what I felt at that moment, he looked at me again with that penetrating stare and I felt my bones hurt. 

He rolled his eyes at me as he looked directly at my medallion and said - I need another drink! 

Yes, he didn't even say hello to me. 

He left my company so quickly that I felt my heart race faster, was this some kind of rejection?

- Hey - I shouted at him - come back here! - I said nonconformist 

- What's wrong? - he said angrily, still looking at my medallion. 

- I shouldn't call, but we have to stay together for pictures, we're going into the church, and the least you should do is say hello! - I don't know why I was so angry, but he aroused it in me. It was a flaming feeling that burned me up inside and I didn't know how to describe it. 

- I don't want to be near you! - he said looking into my eyes - can you respect that? - gee, that hurt, but he was just some stranger because I felt my heart break into more little pieces again. 

- Can you at least tell me why? 

I could see my mother walking towards me from afar as Sam turned away from me. 

- Is everything okay, my daughter? 

- I don't know, that guy doesn't even know me and he hates me so much! - I was so angry that I clenched my fists and said

- Let him go, there's no point in being so tormented by it! Let's have a drink or five!

Sam and I stared at each other the entire party, with more than considerable distance between us. Our closed expressions to each other translated perfectly our hatred of each other. 

I went home with my mother and couldn't get the last events out of my mind.

And even after a cup of tea and a long bath I couldn't, I took off my father's necklace and put it in my drawer. I spent a long time looking at myself in the mirror, trying to notice if I looked ugly or beautiful for that stranger to hate me so much and for free. 

I didn't find any serious defects and I wasn't that ugly! 

- Oh, the hell with him! I don't need anyone to like me! Especially not a man! - I said this sentence to myself, and even though I didn't believe it, it made some sense. 

I fell asleep, agitated and confused, I couldn't get the quiet I needed. 

The wind and rain outside didn't help me, and the feeling of being watched overcame me and didn't leave me alone.

I stood up and grabbed a book, the footsteps on my porch made my heart pound in my neck. 

I looked back and there he was, looking at me with his bright eyes and wet hair. The look that could finish me off in two seconds and his fists clenched. 

- What are you doing here, crazy," I said angrily. 

- I needed to look at your face again! - he said taking a few steps forward.

As he walked forward I walked two steps backward to get away. What did he think he was doing? 

- What's this all about? You hate me! And who gave you the right to come into my house? To invade my room? How did you know where I live?

- Your smell! Damn it! - he moved a little closer - I need to smell you, to feel the touch of your skin, to hear the sound of your voice again.

He spoke as if he had felt all those things before, as if we had known each other long enough to have created those memories. It was strange that I couldn't react in the right way, because the closer he got and the hotter the heat rose, the more I wanted to get closer to him. 

He held my arm tightly, I could have screamed for help, but I didn't. Our heavy breathing met as he put his face to mine. And although I didn't understand anything that was happening I didn't want to stop, it was like something burning inside me that kept me from pulling away. His smell was so wonderful that it seemed to enter my subconscious, the warmth of his body emanated 

all over my body and the sound of his voice was like music to my ears. 

He marked me, like a stigma that everyone could see. 

He sniffed my neck and held my waist, took a deep breath with his eyes closed. Was I dreaming of that moment? 

- What do you want here Sam? - I said softly, almost as if I were telling him a secret. 

He didn't answer anything, he just went out my window.

And at that very moment I blacked out. 

I blacked out so deeply that I woke up on my couch, with the book I had gotten up to get open at page 150 on my chest and perfectly covered. 

Had I dreamed? Had Sam been in my house or had I just somatized the rejection from earlier? 

I wanted to believe my insanity, but even the smell of him wasn't around my room like before.

I no longer knew what was real or imaginary, but I wanted with all my heart for it to be real.

At that moment an obsession was created in me, I needed to know more about that strange man.

It was a matter of life and death. 

I grabbed my cell phone and called Anna. 

- I need to know everything about Sam! - I said as soon as she answered the phone. 

- But what for? - she said - I just opened my eyes and you didn't even say good morning to me! 

- I just need to know! - I needed a quick lie - we are going to be godparents, I need him to hate me less!

- I don't know if it will help Beck! 

- Wow, is he determined to hate me?

- No, that's not it! He left town last night, apologized to Ian, and said he had an appointment that couldn't be postponed. Be glad, at least you won't have to put up with his bad moods. 

I couldn't even speak, I was disappointed with the situation. 

- All right! - I said, disappointed down to my last hairline, it was the fastest obsession I have ever had. 

Intense, fast and disappointing... I just wanted to look into Sam's brown eyes again! Only then could I lay my head on my pillow and convince myself that my dream meant nothing to my head and heart.