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The choices we make 93
“What did you need to talk about?” Kopa said, as the two of them sat down at the table. “I read the letter you gave me,” Mary started. “And you got upset?”“Not like last time. I’m angry this time, more than I’m sad,” Mary admitted, which earned her a surprised look from Kopa.“I know. Who knew?” she said, laughing at his expression.“So, what advice do you need?”“I think I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I should do it, or if I really want to,” Mary told him. “Okay, can you tell me what made you angry?” Kopa asked.“Do you promise to stay calm?” Mary asked.“I do”“I won’t go into details, but the jest of it is that Zerden told me I was a disappointment for choosing to live my life the way I am. For the choices I have made since coming here,” Mary said, looking at Kopa. He had clenched his jaw and there was a muscle tick above his right eye. But he kept his promise and stayed calm, at least on the surface. It made Mary smile. “Are you okay, dad?”“Fine. The letter was
The choices we make 94
As Mary got back to her room, both her friends were sitting in the bay window reading. Mary had things she needed to read as well. But she felt like she needed to write her last letter. She wanted to let go of the past. She settled down at her desk and stared down at the empty paper in front of her. This was going to be difficult.‘Dear Anna,I’m so pleased to hear that things are looking up for you. That gives me hope this wave of the sickness will fade as well. I want to thank you for your kind words. They mean so much to me and I will always remember them. I told my father about your kind words, and he was grateful. That brings me to the difficult part of this letter. This is not something which is easy for me to write, or to think about doing. But I feel like it has to be done. Last time I wrote, I was taking the acceptance test to become an aari. Well, as you predicted, I made it and have now moved into the sanctum to start my training. With my training, my lessons with Tenac an
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“Sure, happy to help,” Jontak said, smiling. Firlea looked at Mary, slightly panicked. Mary smiled at her.“Thanks, Jontak,” Mary said. She and Sinhera looked as Jontak and Firlea left the shop.“Not the smoothest hint, but I think that will do,” Sinhera smiled.“It’s a good start at least,” Mary nodded.“What are you two plotting?” Tenac asked as he walked up to them. “And where are Jontak and your friend?”“Firlea needed ink. Jontak escorted her there as it’s her first time to the market,” Mary smiled at him.“You two are scaring me. Please don’t help me like that, ever,” he said. Both Mary and Sinhera laughed. They waited for the two to return before heading towards the weapons stalls. There were a lot of different weapons. Some Mary didn’t even know the names of and couldn’t figure out how to use.“Do you want to look at a new knife, Mary?” Jontak asked her.“No thank you, I’m happy with the one I have,” she told him.“Do you even know how to use it?” Tenac asked her.“Well, it’s
The choices we make 96
Zerden stood looking at the men under his command. They were training, and they looked tired. Zerden knew he had been pushing them hard this past month. His bad mood had made him irritable, and every mistake was now punished with a gruelling training session. He knew he needed to back off a bit. His men were well trained and the minor mistakes they made didn’t warrant this punishment. Zerden needed to get his temper back in check. Which was easier said than done. It would be easier if he just had known why he was in such a bad mood. If he was honest with himself, he knew why. He just wasn’t up for admitting it just yet. So instead, his bad mood continued and everyone around him endured and stayed out of his way as much as they could.“Don’t forget to put everything back before you head to get dinner,” he shouted. He didn’t wait around to make sure they did what he told them. No one wanted to disobey him at the moment. He walked inside and headed to his room in the castle. Zerden had j
The choices we make 97
It had been over six months since Mary had started her training, and each day offered new opportunities to learn and to explore the world. She discovered she had a craving for learning. The more she learnt, the more questions she had. Her mentor, Procecsa, had picked up on this and gave Mary more and more books to read. Mary was helping her mentor with all sorts of experiments. Procecsa was good at explaining things in a way Mary understood them. In just a few weeks, the winter solstice was to take place and Mary was looking forward to it. Several of the experiments that Procecsa had Mary help with depended on it. In the class for basic magic, they had learned certain celestial events could impact magic. The winter solstice was one of those. Mary was to assist her mentor in trying to figure out just how much it affected certain types of magic. Mary found the whole thing fascinating and couldn’t wait to get to see the results. After the solstice, they would have a two-week break. It wa
The choices we make 98
“In my case?” Mary asked.“For some reason, you have been conditioned to suppress your fire. Most likely not in an effort to suppress the magic, but a characteristic which goes with it. Like anger,” Procecsa said. Mary could hear that she tried to be gentle. Mary sat quietly for a while and thought things through. Her time in the kitchen had made her put a tight lead on her emotions, especially anger, but also passion and love. It would have been the last thing she did in the castle if she had become angry with someone higher up the rank than her. Which had been most people.“So, what do I do? Do I have to get angry at Tenac?” Mary asked, making Procecsa laugh.“No, I don’t think he deserves it. He’s just trying to help you, after all” she smiled at Mary.“I need to get angry at someone else?” Mary asked, confused.“I don’t know if you need to get angry at anyone, Mary. I think it would be okay just for you to accept it is okay for you to get angry. Just to allow yourself to experienc
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“I would love to,” Mary said, looking at him. “But I don’t want to take time away from you seeing your family. I know you don’t get to see them that often,” she said. Tenac shrugged.“I will visit them as often as I can while they are here. It’s okay, I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t,” he said.“Okay, then I would love to come.”“Good. Now let’s get you a new horse,” he smiled.“No, Tenac. I have told you, Buttercup will do,” Mary objected.“I’m not letting you anywhere near my grandfather whilst you are riding Buttercup, Mary. If you are going to visit a Che’hul camp, you can’t be on a horse like her,” he said. Mary looked at him. She really wanted to go with him to visit his family. Her curiosity and thirst for new things was going crazy at the thought of getting to see this whole new culture. At the same time, it felt like she was betraying Buttercup. The horse had been patient with her from the start. Mary recognised Tenac was dangling the visit to the Che’hul camp as an incent
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The time until the winter solstice went by quickly and before she knew it, Mary was running around the equipment she had helped Procecsa set up the day before the solstices. They were outside the wall, on a flat part of the plain. The grass had been cut down and a light dusting of snow barely covered the ground. The area was guarded by grey riders. Not for the fear of someone sabotaging their experiments, but to keep curious people away. There was a lot of preparation to be made. Luckily for Mary, she had already done this a couple of times before. According to magical theory, occasions such as the winter solstice and full moons could affect magic in different ways. But to Mary’s surprise, it had never been proven, even though everyone used the principle. Procecsa had therefore designed an experiment to perform some basic magic, which was easy to perform and evaluate the effect of and repeat this during the different beneficial celestial occasions. They had already done the control ro
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