Chapter 27

Cassian’s POV

It must have been my ears.

Or perhaps my imagination playing tricks on me

But I was sure I heard a knock on the door

It was soft at first and just when I wanted to concentrate.

It came again

And if you didn’t pay attention

You would miss the sound

I looked up from the clutter on my desk

It was a mix of patrol logs, broken treaties, lists of supply shortages and a letter from elder Norvan about “illegal herb gathering.”

I hadn’t even touched it yet amd the seal was still intact.

I wasn’t ready to stomach another complaint.

The knock came again.

It was quiet, hesitant.

Like it didn’t want to interrupt,

Like it was just wanted to be acknowledged.

And me?

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I frowned. “Come in.”

I waited. One breath. Two. Ten.

Still nothing.

Then I forced myself up, my teeth threatening to break from how hard I had clenched them.

I crossed the room, swinging the door faster than I had intended to.

Nothing.

Just cold stone floors and the empty doorway

Insanity

It had to be a prank of some some sort

I strained my head further

Hoping to catch a shadow

Or atleast footsteps

But there were none

The hallway was empty

No guards

No footsteps

exhaled. “Great. Now I’m losing it.”

“Haunted,” I muttered. “By the living.”

Because ghosts don’t knock.

Ghosts don’t smell like flower soap and warm vanilla.

Ghosts don’t whisper words that cut deeper than any blade.

And I was standing at the door—like always—watching it fall apart.

***

An hour later, I stood at the edge of the training yard, arms crossed, And I was yet to get the knocking incident out of my head.

The smell of the air here was different

A mixture of sweat and iron

Boots were slamming against the dirt and the olace was noisy from the clashing weapons and high pitched shouts.

It was chaos.

But at least it was chaos I understood.

Conrad stalked the perimeter, his voice sharp as a whip.

“Faster! Or the rogue at your throat will be more merciful than I am!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Charming.”

He didn’t glance at me. “I’m motivating them.”

“By threatening their afterlife?”

“It works.” He finally looked at me. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks.”

Well that wasn’t pretty much tye word i had thought he would use

Let’s. See

What’s a better way to describe a man who’s been running on no sleep, just caffeine, whiskey and cigarettes

Lots of them

“Didn’t sleep?” He asked, interrupting my thoughts

“Haven’t been sleeping,” I admitted.

It wasn’t difficult

Conrad and I have been buddies since what?

Since we could talk and that was what gave him to leverage of scolding me

“Because of her?”

I didn’t answer.

I couldn’t

It would be accepting defeat if I did

And if I lied? Conrad could smell it a thousand feet away

Just I just stood there staring at him

Because even if silence felt like cowardry

It was way better than the initial options

He didn’t push.

And I was thankful for that

Instead, he handed me a folded scroll. “Border assignments. East watch wants reinforcements.”

I took it without reading it.

He didn’t push. Not right away.

“You know,” he said, after a pause, “you’re not fooling anyone. Not with the act. Not with the distance.”

“I’m not trying to fool anyone.”

“Then what are you doing?”

Before I could answer, I felt something warm wrap around my leg.

Small fingers. Light pressure.

And that fuzzy smell I could recognize even in my grave.

I looked down.

Sisi.

She was hugging my shin, clinging like she thought I’d float away if she let go.

“Daddy,” she breathed, her round eyes looked like she was more than happy that she found me

The training ground was very far from ghe livung area

How had she gotten her

My whole chest constricted at the thought

I bent down immediately and scooped her into my arms. “Sisi? What are you doing out here, baby?”

She curled into me, her arms tight around my neck. “I was looking for you.”

“You left the palace by yourself?”

“The guards were talking. I was quiet.”

She beamed like it was a magic trick.

Conrad took one look at her and cleared his throat. “Break time! Ten minutes! And if I hear so much as a sneeze in this direction, I’m doubling laps.”

He gave me a knowing look and then vanished.

Leaving me with the tiny storm in my arms.

I shifted her gently. “You know you’re not supposed to sneak out.”

“I know,” she said softly.

“Then why’d you do it?”

She hesitated. “Because… you weren’t there.”

The words hit me harder than any blade.

“You weren’t at breakfast. Or storytime. Or nighttime. I waited.” Her voice cracked. “I waited both days.”

I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Even though I knew tye words meant nothing

Maybe Selena was right

I was the one killing the connection sisi and I had

“You said you’d be there.”

“I know.”

She looked up at me, her little brow furrowed. “Are you mad at me?”

“What? No. Never.”

“But you don’t come anymore,” she continued. “Not for pancakes. Not for cuddles. Not for Mommy.”

My stomach twisted.

“I miss when you used to laugh,” she added. “With me. Now you just… go away.”

I tried to hold her tighter. Tried to explain what even I didn’t fully understand.

“I’ve been… busy,” I murmured. Weak excuse. Even to my own ears.

Sisi wasn’t fooled.

“More busy than us?”

“No,” I admitted. “Not more than you.”

She pulled back slightly, serious now.

“Mommy says people who love you don’t disappear.”

I exhaled. “She really said that?”

“She also said love needs trying. Like gardens.”

Like gardens.

“Do you still love me?” she asked, voice barely a whisper.

“More than the whole world,” I said instantly. “You are my world.”

Her lip trembled. “But you forgot how to show it.”

“I did,” I whispered. “I did forget. But I’m trying to remember.”

She studied me, serious in a way no child should be.

Her face brightened just slightly. “Then let’s have family time.”

I stared. “Family time?”