Chapter three

I hate a lot of people: my bullies, Rohan, and sometimes even my parents. Honestly, I think I hate everyone in my pack. But there’s one person I hate most: Vira.

While my parents and the rest of the pack danced around the bonfire, celebrating new mates, I stood at the edge of the cliff, staring down. Another tradition: after the pull, the new mates shift into wolf form and run together—down the cliff and under the moon—to prove their unity. Vira and the young Alpha did just that, followed by the others.

My parents were beyond thrilled. Their perfect daughter scored again. Soon-to-be Luna. So they danced with everyone else, round and round the bonfire.

I refused to join. The noise gave me a headache. I decided to go back to our cabin to sleep. Or maybe cry.

As I walked down the cliff, head low and hands stuffed in my jacket, I started asking myself: have I ever received anything good in my life? Not something big like having the Alpha as a mate. That would never happen to me. I'm talking about something small but meaningful. Something I could think about and smile.

Nothing. Not a damn thing.

I’ve come to agree with everyone else: I really am cursed.

My eyes began to sting. The tears built fast. I stopped at the foot of the cliff and cried my heart out.

What am I doing? Why am I even alive?

Maybe it’d be better for everyone if I just disappeared.

Passersby stared and whispered, "What’s wrong with her now?"

I pulled myself together and continued walking toward the cabin. But then I turned toward the lake. If I went home, I’d just sleep and dream again. The lake, at least, would be empty. Everyone was still celebrating.

I could cry there.

But when I reached the lake, someone was already there, sitting on a rock, drinking beer and staring at the moon. His back was to me, so I couldn’t tell who it was. I turned to leave before he could see me.

He turned anyway.

"Rhea?" Rohan called. Damn it. Can this night get any worse?

"Is it really you, or is this booze messing with me?" He looked at the bottle in his hand, then the empty ones on the ground.

"It’s really me," I said. I was surprised. I didn’t know he drank. He was always strict.

"What are you doing here? You should be celebrating."

"Got a headache from the noise," I said.

He chuckled. "Rhea, you're always infirm."

I sighed. I know I’m weak. I didn’t need to hear it again.

I didn’t ask why he was there or why he was drinking. I already knew. He hadn’t found his mate. Again.

I kind of felt sorry for him. Watching others find their mates every year while he remained alone.

So when he told me to join him, I did. I sat on the rock next to him. He passed me a bottle, and I drank.

I knew by tomorrow, things would go back to the way they were. He’d be the strict, cold mentor again and maybe even punish me for seeing him like this. But right now, I didn’t care.

Drinking felt right.

We drank and wondered why our fates were so different from everyone else's.

I had the nightmare again. I woke up drenched in sweat on my bed.

Wait. On my bed?

The last thing I remembered was drinking with Rohan. I didn’t remember going home.

Then Dad walked into my room.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Good. We need to talk."

"Hold on, sweetie, she looks ill," Mom said as she entered.

"I'm fine," I said, brushing her hand away.

"Then may we ask why you got drunk last night?" Dad demanded.

I shrugged. "I guess I was just so happy."

"Rhea, you passed out. If Rohan hadn't carried you home, only God knows what would have happened," Mom said.

"But I’m fine," I repeated.

"But you're still in trouble," Dad said.

"Where's Vira?" I asked. If they were giving me this much attention, she probably wasn’t home.

"She's not back yet," Mom confirmed.

"I have a meeting with the Alpha this morning. You and I still have to talk when I get back," Dad said, then left. By the time he returned, Vira would be home and he’d forget all about it.

Now I had to deal with Mom. She was studying me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're lying. You're not okay. Tell me what's wrong."

I could open up. Tell her about the nightmares. She was finally paying attention.

But what would be the point? She couldn’t fix it.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I promise," I lied.

She looked like she didn’t believe me, but she let it go.

"Come on," she said. "Let's make you something to eat."

She pulled me out of bed and into the kitchen. Cooking with Mom was warm and chaotic, but comforting.

I love my mom. She’s done a lot for me. There was a time when I was the one she gave all her attention to. She never left my side when I was a kid. While Dad taught Vira to hunt, Mom tried to teach me to heal. And though I always failed, she always said I was special. Not cursed. Just slow.

And for a while, I believed her. Until I turned thirteen and couldn’t transform.

People started questioning if I was even a werewolf.

I stopped pretending I was special. I gave up on healing. Tried training instead. I wanted to be strong, or at least less weak.

Didn’t work. I got ranked as an omega. I stopped going to Mom for comfort because I thought it made me weak.

We made food and talked about the ceremony. Who ended up with who. We didn’t mention Vira and the Alpha’s son. It was like she knew not to bring it up.

But we did talk about Rohan.

"He was a mess when he brought you home last night. I’ve never seen him like that," she said.

"Well, four years without a mate will do that to a wolf," I replied.

"It's sad the moon goddess hasn’t given him one. He’s strong, brave, kind..."

"Kind?" I cut her off. "Don’t sugarcoat him, Mom. He’s my mentor. Remember?"

"Oh, but he is kind. He’s only hard on you to make you better."

"Some mentor," I muttered. "The moon goddess is doing girls a favor by not making him their mate."

Mom looked at me.

"Rhea, the moon goddess is very mischievous. That’s all I’ll say.”