CHAPTER FIVE ‘Innocence’

It had been a week since I last saw the Cameron guy- the guy who said he knew me. After I asked him to leave, he did which made me feel more comfortable knowing he lied about me being pregnant. After all, if we were going to have a child together there was no way he would leave just like that..

I was living pretty well alone in my beautiful home. Whenever I got hungry, all I had to do was go to the kitchen and I would see what I wanted to eat. The kitchen had everything I wanted and it never reduced no matter how much i kept kept eating them. Even the fruits inside never reduced and they always neat and fresh. And if I needed fresh air, I would go outside for a stroll and thankfully there weren't any wild animals. After going on a stroll I would go back home and write about the flowers that captivated me, their colours, their wonderful scents, their structure. I would also take a few bunch of flowers to my home and read the romantic novels I found in the house to them.

After successfully reading six fairly tale books I went outside more frequently and enjoyed the warm sunlight on my skin. I got bored of reading after discovering the books had the same romantic storylines, was it even real? If it were just a bunch of cliché and unrealism I decided I would start writing my own books soon after getting more experience in life.

Days passed, my routine never changed. I would sleep as early as 9pm and wake as early as 9am. Today I discovered a difference in my body when i was taking a warm bath. My breasts, were becoming slightly bigger and swollen. Even my hips became thicker. I initially brushed the thought off and convinced myself it was because I ate a lot but when I saw my stomach become bigger as days passed i became scared. The books I read in the recent days had a lot of content relating to signs about pregnancy in them and what was happening to me felt so much like a pregnancy the only different thing is, I didn't feel like vomiting like the book said.

Desperate to know whether it was just my head making stuffs up or if what that Cameron guy said was real and I was really pregnant, I went to look for the novel and I found it laying on the desk. I was surprised.. didn't I put it in the library? I brushed off my thoughts and opened the book searching for the page I saw something like signs of pregnancy..

I let out a sigh when I saw it on page one hundred and thirty two. I read what I saw out loud nervously, “The signs of pregnancy includes morning sickness, hunger pangs, weight increase, sexual urge and mood changes. The signs come later in some women than others depending on their body”

I froze in shock.

And cupped my cheeks with my hands nervously. I.. I had all of the symptoms like a pregnancy as mentioned in the novel. Well.. except for the erm the one about s-sexual urge.

I blushed while thinking about it and squeezed my cheeks. In the novels, the main leads always kiss and spent warm nights together but their nights weren't necessarily detailed so I didn't have an idea what having a warm night would feel like. 

Suddenly the memory of me flashed in my mind like the wind.

It was the flashback of me and Cameron. We seemed to be having a very heated conversation.

“Cameron I want you” 

“I-I-i already told you, I don't like you so-”

The woman pushed Cameron against an apple tree while laughing wickedly, then she leaned closer to his ear and whispered, “I don't like you either but I like your body and I want it, and whatever beauty wants she get”

The man's Adams apple bobbed up and down in nervousness or excitement and the woman smirked upon seeing his reaction then she moved closer and kissed his neck softly and the man started shivering but the woman ignored his reluctance to fall for her touch and kept trailing kisses up his neck until she reached his Adams apple. She blew softly on it and looked up to the man whose eyes were now tightly shut.

She ran her hand through his broad shoulders and licked his Adam's apple causing him to open his eyes in panic.

“N-no you can't.” He stuttered looking everywhere but the beautiful woman in front of him.

“Really? I think I can!” she yelled angrily this time before grabbing his chin violently but she quickly let go off him and started patting his chin softly while humming to herself, “I shouldn't be too harsh on you, else you'll get hurt and I don't want a scar on your face” 

“Beauty.. This is wrong, it's an abomination for- mmh”

Cameron's words were silenced by Beauty's kiss against his lips, roughly exploring his mouth with her tongue. He kept trying to resist and pull away from the kiss but when her hand pressed against his chest and the side of his face, he kissed her back uncontrollably with the same level of hunger until they ripped off their clothes and made love under the full moon.

I blinked and slapped myself hard while covering myself with a blanket in embarrassment. Was I that really me? Did I really do such unruly thing! Is that how I got pregnant?

I literally forced myself on Cameron. That was the most baddest thing ever! 

I slapped myself and couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. “Why did I have to be such a shameless person?! I did a lot of stupid things” I cried cupping my cheeks “A lot of stupid things!” 

I slapped myself harder, “Now I'm pregnant! And I must've done many more stupid things but this is the most troublesome. I'm with a child! How am I supposed to raise a child by myself? And when the child grows up and ask for his father what will I say? That I was an idiot in the past who forced an innocent man to sleep with me and became pregnant so his father is on the hide out?” More tears started rolling down my cheeks and I felt extremely ashamed on myself.

The words Cameron told me the day I regained consciousness hit me and I sighed. Maybe he was right about me being a witch. 

But why did I lose most of my memories? Why happened to me before I got here?

I sighed. I was a horrible person in the past..

Maybe this was an opportunity for me to correct my mistakes and maybe I can then recover my memories.

I should start with the first person I've wronged in my vague memory. Cameron.

It was only normal he was still angry at me for forcing him to- I ran my hand through my head shyly. 

If he was angry? Why did he save me then?

A thought flashed through my mind and I nodded, maybe because he knew I was pregnant. Keeping me alive was the only way he could save our child as well.

I froze. Thinking of the child as ‘ours’ made me feel kind of guilty. It was my fault for forcing him.. so I shouldn't try to lure him to stay with me using the child as an excuse. It would be unfair..

The least I could do now was apologize for what I did.

I got off the bed and picked up a blank page and a pen. Then I started drawing a certain handsome man in my memories starting from his luscious and healthy lips.. to his nose, his beautiful brown eyes..

After a few hours perfecting the drawing. I was impressed. The person I drew looked so much like Cameron. I smiled and went to cook some noddles.

I followed the instructions on the packaging containing noddles and when I tasted it. The feeling felt very familiar but I couldn't remember where I had tasted such goodness before.