11

Nikolai.

I lost control.

I couldn't believe that I hurt her.

Guilt wasn't something I felt often. Especially since our line of work didn't really require showing your emotions or acting upon them.

We were more than used to not feeling anything. Stuck in a limbo of violence, chaos and numbness without a guide.

No light just absolute darkness and sin.

And we had been lonely since I could remember it would've explained our lack of...understanding if you will.

Our 'birth givers' weren't exactly the most sentimental, caring or loving parents. They trained us to be leaders since birth and trust me they surely made that happen.

We weren't like other kids.

I mean sure our father was The Pakhan as in the leader of the damn Bratva. He was expected to be a bit rough on us but the son of a bitch deprived us of our say in that matter and decided to fucking train us to be his little puppets and take over whenever he saw fit.

Piece of shit.

We didn't get to play like the other kids. and when it came