I

~Akia~

The moonlight has filtered further into my room, but I don’t mind it. After all of these years, you’d think that I’d do better, that I’d be able to sleep better. It isn’t true, and I don’t even care anymore.

I got help after everything. My family made sure that I saw someone and got counseling. I went through the process with every hope of getting better. When it comes down to it, though, no one can understand. The therapist, my family, no one could ever understand everything I’ve been through; everything I’m still going through.

The peak of the incident may have happened years ago, but it still sits in the back of my mind. I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe, and that puts a heavy cloud over everything I do. Each day without incident is a win, but how long can someone really live like that?

I’m a twenty-year-old college student, a wolf, part of the Winterpaw Pack. That isn’t my home pack, though, and I’m not with my parents. My parents were killed when I was fourteen.

I shift in bed as the thoughts of my parents flood my mind. After all of these years, it still hurts me to think about them. It hurts me to remember how my life used to be.

I’m a victim in many different ways. If my therapist heard me, she’d admonish me because, as she says, I’m not a victim, but I’m a survivor. The only issue is that I have no idea if my troubles are behind me.

I’m a stalking victim and have been stalked for years. I have no idea who it is or why it started. All I know is that the issue increased in severity over time, and I ended up losing my parents because of it.

*Flashback*

“Are you sure you want to go home? You had a rough day. Stay the night with me. We can watch movies and stay up late with snacks.” I pull Serena in for a hug, letting her warmth wrap around me.

“I really just want to go home and see my parents. I know they are trying to figure out what to do about everything.” I pull back from Serena and smile at her, though it pains me to do so. She nods and holds the door open for me to step out.

I’ve been at her house since school was out. Serena has always been a great friend to me, even through all of this. I had my first kiss the other day, after school. Scott and I have been hanging out lately, and I swear I’ve had the biggest crush on him. He kissed me, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. That was on Monday.

He wasn’t at school on Tuesday, but he was back on Wednesday, and he looked beat up. When I tried to talk to him, he pushed me away. It hurt so badly, and I didn’t know what I could have done to him to make him so mad at me.

I was finally able to get him to talk to me today, and what he told me broke my heart. He said that he was attacked in front of his home on Monday. The attacker told him that I was his and he needed to keep his hands off of me. I frantically called my parents and told them what had happened. I’ve been with Serena since that phone call.

I don’t know what’s going on, but someone has been watching and following me for years. I don’t get why it is, and I don’t even know who it could be. It started small at first: small gifts and notes were left at my house. From there, it progressed to things going missing and strange occurrences happening around me. Now this person is attacking people who get close to me. I feel so guilty about what happened to Scott, but I don’t know what to do about it.

The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end, and I feel exposed as I walk home. Serena doesn’t live far away, but I feel like I’m putting myself out there as bait. I know that I’ll feel better when I get home with my parents.

As I walk up to the door, a heaviness falls over me. Something’s wrong, I can feel it. The door is slightly ajar, which is weird. My parents never leave the door open. I mean, it’s pretty safe in this pack. Silent Crest Pack isn’t the biggest, but they strive to make sure that their members are safe and happy. My parents are top warriors, so we have a good place in the pack.

The moment I step through the door, the scent of blood washes over me. My stomach churns, and I feel like I’m going to throw up. My breathing gets heavier, and my heartbeat increases. I slowly walk through the foyer, knowing the layout by heart. I need to turn the light on and see the damage, but I’m terrified. “Mmmom? Dad?” I gulp when there’s no answer. The surrounding air is still, but it’s the type of stillness that brings problems.

My fingers graze the wall as I flip the switch. Light floods the room, and I bend over, throwing up on the floor. I drop to my knees, my legs too shaky to move me further. I look at the carnage in front of me, my eyes blurring with tears. It can’t be, it just can’t be. My head falls back, and a sharp cry escapes my lips.

*End of Flashback*

I walked into my home at fourteen and found three people ripped to shreds on my living room floor. Two of them were my parents, and I have no idea who the third was. They probably told me, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t hear anything once I found my parents in that state.

Everything after that was a blur, even the service that was held for my parents. I floated through it all, not really knowing whether I was coming or going. Then came the conversation about where I would end up. Serena and her parents offered to take me in, but I didn’t want that. I loved them, and they treated me like their own, but everything was too fresh.

Alpha Kyle agreed to let me go with family, and that’s how I ended up in the Winterpaw Pack with my Uncle Devon and Aunt Kyla. Uncle Devon was my mom’s brother. I went from Akia Cummings to Akia Bradshaw. Alpha Kyle doesn’t even know where I ended up. That was what he wanted in case my stalker tried to find out where I was.

There was no record of my leaving. My school records were picked up by me; no request was made through email or phone. Serena doesn’t even know where I went, and I haven’t spoken to her since I left. All of this was done for everyone’s safety.

They tried to tell me that there was no proof that my stalker was the one who killed my parents, but I know better. I just don’t know why they had to die. I guess I will never know. I will just miss them forever, and there will always be a part of me that will forever feel guilty over their deaths.

I sigh and turn over to my other side. I should really be asleep. I have a few tests in the morning, but, as usual, I can’t shut my mind off. I close my eyes and try to think of the aspect of my life that brought me the most happiness. I hold on to these things with everything I have.