To Each Our Own Winter

After he said that, Dad’s expression changed.

He quickly covered my ears with both hands and said in an apologetic tone, “Ellie, don’t take it to heart. I got carried away just now and said things I didn’t mean.”

His palms were hot against my ears, and everything he said sounded distant and muffled, like it was coming through water.

I felt nothing. I just looked at Mom through the gaps between his fingers.

Mom stood there perfectly still. She did not make a fuss.

All she did was crouch down, pick up the underwear, fold it slowly, and place it in the laundry basket.

Then, she picked up Dad’s train ticket from the coffee table and stared at it for a long time.

When I saw the words “Westside Hot Springs Resort,” my mind reeled.

Everything came flooding back in an instant.

That was where I first caught Dad with the woman he was having an affair with.

That day, Mom had brought me to the hot springs resort for my birthday.

We changed into swimsuits and headed for the hot springs.

As we passed the changing rooms, Mom suddenly stopped.

She stared at the two pieces of clothing hanging on the door of the adjacent changing room—a man’s shirt and a woman’s dress.

I recognized the shirt as Dad’s. There was a gold cufflink on the cuff, which was a birthday present from Mom.

Low, ragged gasps echoed from the changing room. A man and a woman sounded like two wild beasts howling.

Mom’s face instantly drained of color.

I did not understand what was happening. Dad sounded like he was in pain, so I thought someone was hurting him.

I ran over and pushed the door open, shouting, “Leave my dad alone!”

However, all I found inside was a naked woman. She screamed as she covered herself and ran past me.

Dad remained in the changing room. His face was deathly pale.

Mom cried for a long time that day.

When Dad came home, he impatiently accused Mom of making a mountain out of a molehill.

I heard him say, “Back then, after everything that man did to you for three days and three nights, I still married you. Surely, you can put up with this now?”

That night, Mom held me as we slept.

Her tears never stopped. They soaked into my hair, feeling cool against my scalp.

I thought she had fallen asleep, but her lips kept moving as she murmured broken phrases.

I caught words like “not biologically related,” “assailant,” and “spawn.”

I did not fully understand then, but I knew I probably was not Dad’s biological daughter.

‘So, you did not have to cover my ears, Dad,’ I thought.

I had known all along.

Something warm landed on the back of my hand.

I looked up and realized it was one of Mom’s tears.

Dad probably felt guilty when he saw the look on Mom’s face.

He picked up his phone, stepped out onto the balcony, and made a call in a low voice.

“Hey, Leonard, could you cover this business trip for me today? Something came up at home… What? She’s already there?”

A woman’s sobs came from the other end of the line. Even through the phone, her cries were sharp and shrill.

Dad’s expression changed.

“I’ll be right there,” he said before hanging up.

He rushed into the bedroom, grabbed his suitcase, and headed for the door.

This time, Mom did not run after him.

She simply crouched down and wiped away the tear on the back of my hand.

“I’m sorry, Ellie. I wanted so badly to make this work. I wanted to give you a family.”

She looked up, and her eyes were red with tears.

“However, I’m exhausted. I just can’t keep holding on anymore.”