Cracks in the Marriage

The next morning, I woke up with a stiff neck inside the uncomfortable hospital chair. Soft rays of sunlight slipped through the curtains while the steady beeping of machines echoed quietly through Sophie's ward. My chest tightened painfully as I slowly lifted my head.

Murphy was asleep on the couch across the room with his arms folded while Nessa sat beside him, her head resting lightly on his shoulder.

My breath caught instantly because the sight felt too intimate like they had done it before. My stomach twisted painfully as I stared at them. Murphy didn't even realize when his secretary crossed boundaries anymore. Or perhaps he simply didn't care.

I looked away quickly before tears could gather again. The movement must have stirred Sophie awake because she blinked sleepily before smiling immediately.

“Daddy...” she whispered happily.

Murphy opened his eyes almost instantly and sat upright.

“Princess.” His face softened immediately as he walked over to her bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Sophie replied weakly.

Nessa stood up quickly too. “I'll go call the doctor,” she offered sweetly.

Murphy nodded without hesitation.

“Thank you.”

I quietly stared at the interaction. Murphy hadn't said them to me in years. Not for staying awake countless nights with Sophie.

Sophie suddenly noticed me sitting quietly by the window. Her smile faded slightly.

“Mom,” she muttered softly.

I forced a gentle smile despite the ache in my chest. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

She hesitated briefly before looking back at Murphy again.

“Daddy, are you staying today?”

“Yes,” Murphy answered immediately while brushing her hair gently. “I already cleared my schedule.”

My fingers tightened around the cup of coffee beside me. He could clear his schedule now but not yesterday when his daughter waited for him on her birthday.

I slowly stood up from the chair. “I'll go speak to the doctor about her medications.”

Murphy barely looked at me. “Alright.”

I walked out of the ward quietly and headed toward the hospital pharmacy. The hallways remained busy with doctors and nurses rushing around while family members sat outside rooms with anxious expressions.

Normally, hospitals reminded me of purpose. Today, it only reminded me how empty my marriage had become.

As I waited near the pharmacy counter, two nurses nearby whispered softly among themselves.

“At first I thought that red-haired lady was his wife.”

“She practically acts like it.”

I froze instantly.

“Still,” the second nurse continued quietly, “his actual wife looks too calm. If it were me, I would've dragged that secretary out by her hair.”

The first nurse laughed softly. I quickly lowered my face and walked away before they noticed me. Humiliation burned through my chest painfully.

I entered the restroom immediately and locked myself inside one of the stalls. The tears came almost instantly causing me to cover my mouth tightly to stop the sob escaping my throat.

What exactly was happening to my life? When did I become this pathetic woman constantly begging silently for affection from her own husband?

I leaned my head against the wall tiredly. Maybe Murphy truly no longer loved me. The thought shattered something inside me.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my purse. I quickly wiped my tears before glancing at the screen.

It was Mason. I hesitated briefly before answering.

“Hello?”

“Did you sleep at all?” his calm voice asked immediately.

I let out a weak laugh. “Barely.”

“You sound terrible.”

“That's because I am terrible.”

Silence followed briefly. Then Mason sighed softly. “Jane, listen to me carefully. One bad phase in your life doesn't erase who you are.”

I closed my eyes slowly. “You don't understand.”

“Then explain it to me.”

My throat tightened painfully. How could I explain years of emotional neglect to someone in just a few words? How could I explain the loneliness of being married yet constantly feeling abandoned?

“I don't even recognize myself anymore,” I whispered shakily.

Mason became quiet for a moment before speaking again. “You know what I remember most about you during residency?”

I frowned slightly. “What?”

“You were fearless.”

His words caught me off guard.

“You challenged senior doctors when they were wrong. You stayed awake for forty-eight hours during surgeries without complaining. You had this fire in you that made everyone around you believe you would become extraordinary someday.”

Tears gathered slowly in my eyes again because I remembered that girl too. And I missed her desperately.

“But now,” Mason continued softly, “you sound like someone who's spent years apologizing for existing.”

The words pierced straight through me. I slowly slid down against the restroom wall while holding the phone tightly.

“I don't know how to become her again,” I admitted quietly.

“You start by remembering that your life matters too.”

Before I could respond, the restroom door suddenly opened outside. I immediately stood up and wiped my face quickly before ending the call.

“I have to go,” I whispered hurriedly.

“Jane—”

I hung up immediately and stepped out of the stall. My movements froze the moment I saw Nessa standing by the sink fixing her lipstick.

Our eyes met through the mirror. A slow smile spread across her lips. “Well,” she said casually while capping her lipstick, “looks like someone had a rough night.”

I ignored her and walked toward the sink. But she continued speaking. “You know, Mr. Murphy gets really worried whenever Sophie cries.” Her tone sounded light and harmless. “Thankfully she calms down whenever she sees me around.”

My hands stilled slightly beneath the running water. Nessa leaned against the counter while watching me carefully. “I honestly feel bad for you sometimes,” she continued softly. “Being a mother must be hard when your own child barely wants you near her.”

I slowly lifted my eyes toward the mirror. There it was again, that hidden cruelty beneath her sweetness. I turned off the tap calmly before facing her fully.

“What exactly do you want from my husband?” I asked quietly.

Nessa smiled lightly. “Why do women always blame the other woman instead of fixing their marriage?”

Anger burned through my chest instantly. “My marriage was perfectly fine before you inserted yourself into it.”

She laughed softly.

“No, Mrs. Daniel. Your marriage was already dying long before I arrived.” Her gaze swept over me slowly. “I simply gave Mr. Murphy something you stopped giving him.”

The insult slapped across my face painfully. I stepped closer immediately.

“And what exactly is that?”

Nessa tilted her head slightly.

“Peace.”

The restroom suddenly became suffocatingly silent. I stared at her in disbelief. This woman truly thought she had won already.

She picked up her purse calmly before walking toward the door. But just before leaving, she paused beside me.

“You should stop clinging so tightly to people who are already letting go,” she whispered softly.

Then she walked out. Leaving me standing there completely shattered.