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FORTY TWO
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Touch Me, Daddy FORTY THREE
RyderThere were a lot of factors contributing to why Samantha's visit was so distressing.To begin, I am proud to say that I have never lied to my daughter in the past. Now I did nothing else. The answers to even the most basic questions had to be lies.Where have you been that you are now so dressed up and so late?Toil and trouble.Who among these actresses would like to play the role of my stepmother this week?No one special.Don't you love Lexie?It is fine with her.As a result of her visit, I was unable to see Lexie for a period of three days. Not really see her that often, anyway. On Friday, while I was in the middle of negotiating a contract, I couldn't help but look at the back of her head instead of the document. Because I was accustomed to spending Friday night and the entirety of Saturday with Lexie, those days now feel depressingly empty to me. Then there was the time that we all went out to dinner on a Sunday night, and it was a terrible experience. I hadn't seen her s
Touch Me, Daddy FORTY FOUR
LexieAfter Ryder dropped Samantha off at the airport on Monday at noon, I went to his penthouse to wait for him there. It was eerie how similar it was to being back in familiar surroundings. As I went from place to place, I stopped to examine the vegetation. As if they had known each other for years. As soon as I entered his room, I was overcome with a surge of excitement. Soon. Soon.When he arrived, I was so excited that I couldn't help but run into his arms as soon as I saw him.He had the ability to catch me, and then he lifted me into the air. After wrapping both of my legs around his waist and both of my arms around his neck, I climbed on top of him and laid down. It was a wonderful experience to be squished up against him in this manner. A release that was not solely attributable to sexual activity. I was concerned about him.When we were both naked and lying in bed later, I told him, "I missed you.""Me, too. I missed you." It was very cute, but the way he was rubbing his thu
Touch Me, Daddy FORTY FIVE
RyderFor a very long time, it appeared to those who were looking in from the outside that I was the very best person in the entire world. I had accomplished everything I had planned to do when I was a scared-shitless nineteen-year-old kid who thought he only had one chance to make a life for himself and his baby daughter. I had believed that I only had one chance to provide a good life for my daughter. My name has always been associated with achievement. It gave people I cared about the opportunity to demonstrate what they were capable of doing. My youngest child was almost finished with college and would soon be able to succeed at anything she set her mind to. I had so much money that I didn't know what to do with it, and I had so many houses that I didn't know where to put myself. Even real friends, which were even more difficult to come by in this town than success, were on my side. In point of fact, they only cohabitated on occasion. I was aware that I should be confident because
Touch Me, Daddy FORTY SIX
LexieWhen I should have been shaking with fear, I was instead overcome with an overwhelming sense of happiness. My more rational and logical side worked hard to calm it down.What exactly makes you happy about life right now? You are only twenty-three years old. You have not even begun your studies in the legal field. You intend to advance your professional life while taking care of a child? That's going to be... interesting.It's funny, because I never realized how condescending my rationalist mind could be until now. I responded to it in a defensive manner. Absolutely, there will be plenty of excitement. And amazing. Ryder accomplished this feat when he was only nineteen years old, and I can do it too. In addition to that, I won't be going at it by myself.Is that so?The internal debate that I was having with myself was interrupted by a quavering sensation of dread. When I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test, it was like seeing the future in front of me at the same time. R
Touch Me, Daddy FORTY SEVEN
RyderAfter Lexie had left, I stood there transfixed on the elevator for the duration of the meaningless time that passed. Perhaps it was only a minute, or perhaps it lasted the whole night. When I finally tore my eyes away from what I was looking at, it was still night. That was all I knew. The air had become cooler, and the fiery red clouds that had been hovering just above were now beginning to move across the sky. In Los Angeles, the aroma of rain was neither musty nor clean. It had a flavor reminiscent of metal. A bitter aftertaste to linger. As soon as I stepped outside, I inhaled deeply of its fresh air. The first drops of rain were already beginning to fall gently. The blazing flames within the candles trembled angrily as they evaded the petty spats that were occurring between them.I stood there in front of the table for an additional uncountable amount of time, taking everything in. She'd gotten herself into a bit of a pickle. The carbonara and fettuccine were both dishes th
Touch Me, Daddy FORTY EIGHT
LexieAfter I left Ryder’s place, I wandered around LA for hours, unable to face going to Samantha’s condo. There were too many memories there. I’d find somewhere else to go. Anywhere. But when the rain kicked up, I admitted defeat and made my way back. I had to walk past Ryder’s apartment building to get there, and I forced myself to look straight ahead. I wouldn’t look up longingly at the penthouse, and I definitely wouldn’t turn my head to stare into the lobby in hopes that he was emerging from it. I couldn’t stop my ears from listening for him though. Desperately hoping to hear my name break through the quiet night. And then to hear an explanation. An apology. And I couldn’t stop my mind from creating the picture of our reunion — romantic as a movie in the pouring rain.But it never came. Instead, I just got soaking wet by walking so slowly, and I ended up in Samantha’s condo alone.I couldn’t leave this late at night, but I could do the next best thing. For the second time, I yan
Touch Me, Daddy FORTY NINE
RyderWhen I was in the air, approximately halfway to the East Coast and the inevitable, Lyndon gave me a call. He inquired as to whether or not I desired for him to take any action in regard to Kim.What are you going to do about her? I echoed. "I thought you said you didn't have anything," the person asked.He said it in a matter-of-fact manner, "I told you I hadn't found anything."I understood what he meant. He always carried something in the pocket behind his back. A frame, a fix up, a trap. Should he put Kim in one? Did I want him to?I gave it some thought as I fixed my gaze on the back of the seat in front of me. If Lyndon were able to conjure up an incriminating counter to what Kim had on me, it would make my life a hell of a lot easier. Despite the fact that Samantha loved her very much, she had long since lost Samantha's ability to give her the benefit of the doubt. She would be aware that accusing me of setting her up would only serve to drive a wedge between her and Saman
Touch Me, Daddy FIFTY
LexieI was hoping to wake up to the aroma of apple turnovers or pumpkin bread when I got up, but I didn't smell either of those things. Instead, it was the sweet and nutty aroma of freshly brewed coffee that hit me first. I shifted in my position in the bed and took a deep breath, savoring the aroma while simultaneously pondering its source. My mother always had a pot of coffee on hand for her best friend and next-door neighbor Lorraine, but my sister and I would much rather drink soda or tea. It seemed like an odd time to start brewing it for us at this point in time.As I padded out of the room, I put on an old, tattered robe that I had worn in high school and was half expecting to see Lorraine seated at the table. Instead, I was confronted by Ryder.Even though he had his back turned to me, I recognized him right away.As my jaw dropped open, my eyes travelled from his broad shoulders to the expression on my mother's face. She gave me a gentle smile. "How are you doing today?"I w
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