Chapter 12

YVONNE’S P.O.V

My body was something I had long stopped caring for.

What was the use, anyway? When my father always made me feel worthless, when Edgar would always talk down to me, and point out my flaws

‘I wish I had a son’

‘A boy would have been more useful to me’

‘Are all girl children always this dumb, or is it just you Yvonne?’

‘For once in your life, you can finally be useful to me. Marry Edgar and prove your worth’

•

‘Your teeth aren't white enough. Go to a dentist’

‘Your hips are too broad. Fix it’

‘Your right breast is bigger than your left, you should do a surgery’

‘You are never wet for me and you don't moan properly, don't complain if I sleep with someone else’

Those words from my father and Edgar used to ring in my head like a broken record without a pause button, but since Italy...since him, their voice quietened.

The girl her father had looked down on and the woman her husband had looked down on were different from who was standing in front of this mirror.

I reached out a hand to touch my face, softly, like I had changed into delicate glass that should be handled with care.

My skin glowed like a goddess. The spa oils shimmered faintly across my body. My lips were bare, but pink. I tightened the white robe around me, loving the way its softness caressed my skin.

“I will leave you to change,” the nice spa attendant said behind me in English. I turned to her and gave her a soft smile.

“Thank you,” She had worked diligently on loosening the knots on my shoulders till I nearly moaned out. Her hands were skilled and my body relaxed in minutes.

She returned my smile with one of hers and then gathered the oils and bottles into a bag, leaving me in the massage room.

I turned back to the mirror again, staring at the woman who had somehow transformed from what she was before.

I looked… beautiful, but more than that, I felt beautiful.

In and out.

I ran a finger over the lines of my throat, my eyes fluttered as I remembered how Mr Voss had looked at me at the gazebo, like he wanted to bury his face in my neck.

I know it's just my deluded mind speaking, but just for one moment, one tiny, sinful, highly inappropriate, morally wrong moment, I let myself... dream.

My boss's lips on mine as his hands explored my body, touching me in the places that were now aching, his tongue in my mouth while he fisted my hair, pulling me closer and closer...

My breath hitched, goosebumps peppered my skin as I let myself imagine what it would be like to be consumed by a man like Mr Voss.

This wasn't right. Mr Voss was just a nice man who could see that I was not in a nice place at this point in my life, he was only being kind to me with his smiles and soothing words and expansive healing spa treatments

And here I am doing disgusting things with him in my mind, like unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his chest while he takes off my clothes and carries me into his....

A knock on the door nearly made me jump out of my skin.

Jesus. Had I just been imagining sleeping with my Boss? I placed a hand on my mouth to muffle my gasp.

What the hell has gotten into me? When did that start?

The knock came again, and I jerked, then smothered the robe over my body

“Come in,” I said after a minute

I had thought it was one of the spa attendants, but to my surprise, it was the very person I was thinking about. Okay, maybe thinking wasn't the right word for what I was doing with him in this messed-up head of mine.

My cheeks heated when I saw him in the mirror's reflection “Mr Voss”

I didn't turn, but through the mirror's reflection, I saw how his eyes widened for a moment, and the way he slowly took in my damp hair

“I'm sorry. I thought you were done dressing up.” he threw his thumb over his shoulder. “The attendant said... never mind. I'll just come when you're done”

“Don't go,” I rushed out the moment he placed his hand on the doorknob. Inwardly, I winced at how that sounded, so I cleared my throat.

“I mean, you clearly wanted to tell me something, it's okay, you can tell me”

Mr Voss looked like he was contemplating it and then after a moment, he let out a short breath and walked closer to me.

“Hope you enjoyed the treatment?” he began,

I briefly closed my eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of oils on my skin. “I did,” I murmured. “I feel different. Thank you, sir, you are too kind”

He leaned against the wall, his lips crinkling at the corners. “I'm happy the spa could brighten your day,” and then he slid his hands into his pockets. The next words he said came out like the scrape of a whisper, rough and soft and full of something unspoken.

“You deserve it” My eyes met his in the mirror, the deep blue had suddenly turned darker

“You deserve more” he added, not taking his eyes off me

My brain ran into a roadblock. I couldn't think straight anymore. I know Mr Voss is...nice to me, but I always feel like we're tethered on the edge of something forbidden.

I folded my arms across my body to stifle the cold wave that hit me, but my action pushed my breast higher, and a part of my cleavage peeked out from the neckline of the robe.

I heard the exact time his breath hitched, I instantly dropped my hands, but the room had turned more degrees hotter and smaller

From his reflection in the mirror, I could see his chest rising and falling.

I could see him watching me, and that rebellious, wayward part of my mind whispered to me to drop my robe from my body, to see how he would watch me then. If he would look for a fault to point out or if he would like me, all of me, unequal breasts, wide hips, and a love handle on my stomach, flaws, imperfections, and all.

I cleared my throat. “You wanted to talk to me about something, sir?” I hoped my voice didn't give away my thoughts.

Whatever this hypnotic moment was, I needed to end it. Maybe it was the thermal oils, scented candles, and faint music messing with me.

Mr Voss blinked once, then twice, and chuckled lightly. “You're right,” he said. “I did want to discuss something with you, but I've forgotten what it was”

I waited for him to leave since there was nothing to discuss anymore, but he didn't push off the wall, he just kept staring at my damp hair

“I need to get dressed,” I murmured,

“You're right” he replied, but stood still. I wasn't sure Mr Voss registered what I said.

“Right now” I added.

He replied absentmindedly “Yeah”

Maybe his mind was somewhere else, and he wasn't paying attention to what I was saying, so I bit the corners of my lips and said the one thing I knew would snap him out of his mind.

“I’m not wearing anything underneath,”

His eyes widened. A red flush crept up his neck. “Right. Of course. I’ll leave. I'm.... Sorry”

Mr Voss turned so fast, he nearly tripped on the rug on his way out.

The door clicked shut.

And for reasons I couldn't discern, I smiled a wicked smile.